Yarn Shenanigans

I don't think Mark can ever top "INDEED, MR. JONES, INDEED" and "AND THAT IS HOW I KNOW YOU LIED TO ME" from the first Sandy Hook trial in Texas (not to be confused with Chris Mattei, the attorney in the Connecticut trial), but this part

warrior who came to me for advice: i just don’t know if i should listen to the telepathic trees, who say i should save the forest, or my adopted wolf mother, who says i should cut it down to build my city. that’s why i came to you… should i go with Psi Ents or Dog Ma?

“The police spend very little of their time dealing with violent criminals—indeed, police sociologists report that only about 10% of the average police officer’s time is devoted to criminal matters of any kind. Most of the remaining 90% is spent dealing with infractions of various administrative codes and regulations: all those rules about how and where one can eat, drink, smoke, sell, sit, walk, and drive. If two people punch each other, or even draw a knife on each other, police are unlikely to get involved. Drive down the street in a car without license plates, on the other hand, and the authorities will show up instantly, threatening all sorts of dire consequences if you don’t do exactly what they tell you. The police, then, are essentially just bureaucrats with weapons. Their main role in society is to bring the threat of physical force—even, death—into situations where it would never have been otherwise invoked, such as the enforcement of civic ordinances about the sale of untaxed cigarettes.”

since i think many will have had the memory slip with just how many other atrocities have occured in the past 11 years, or are simply too young to remember, the last bit about the sale of untaxed cigarettes isn’t just some hypothetical, it’s a reference to the killing of eric garner

"We're not supposed to be honest when people ask us how we are?"

I require the film where someone decides this means they are functionally immortal for 6 days after watching the tape so seeks it out before going on a series of utterly batshit suicide missions. The tape keeps trying to do creepy crap around them and they're just like "I have 3 days 12 hours left to do this prison break so you're not even on my top 10 concerns, either distract this guard for me or go do something about that hair while you're waiting"

Nile: You would not believe how long term you have to mismanage agriculture on my banks to start experiencing soil depletion. I will always be here for you Egypt.

I love geographical chats when it completely devolves into dragging a landform.