"I have cats at home. Come over."

And I don't mean this in the typical sense that I see other autistic people talk about. About how we're "good at picking out bad people" or whatever bullshit that is.

But I mean in the sense that I know my autism can be difficult to be around. I know how I can sometimes come across to people.

So my second guessing isn't necessarily about not trusting myself, but it's about how I always need to give people the benefit of the doubt due to my disability.

My second guessing is about asking myself whether a person is treating me the way they are as a reaction to how my autism presents, in which they do not know me well enough to be able to understand what parts are my autism. They do not know at face value what my autism looks like enough to be able to react with understanding and consideration.

Or are they treating me the way they are because they are genuine assholes.

I always have to talk it out with someone who knows me and who doesn't have autism. They are the one's I trust to tell me whether it was something I did (out of my control), or whether my vibes are right and that they are just an asshole.

And please don't come at me with any kind of response of "oh it doesn't matter, they're assholes regardless" or anything of the sort.

I know how my autism affects people. The difference between people who know me and people who don't, is that the people who know me know to give me grace, patience, understanding and consideration. They know not to make immediate judgements, they know to ask me to clarify, or they just understand how my brain works.

It also tells me that you don't want to be associated with those with disorders as you think there's something wrong with them. It tells me that you're okay with othering them as long as no one is assuming there's "something wrong with you".

"Condition" is an umbrella term. At the end of the day, autism still falls under being a developmental disorder. Diseases, illnesses, disorders, syndromes, all fall under "condition".

It can definitely be comorbid, but it's not the same thing. They're separate things that we can experience together.

I'm constantly seeing so many autistics saying things that are very clearly anxiety or trauma things but claiming them to be autism things instead.

People spread around that autism can't be cured, which is true. But trauma and anxiety can be effectively treated.

I often see people say "If they didn't want to know, then why ask?"

And honestly? They didn't ask. They didn't say "Can you please tell me how you are and then explain to me why you feel the way that you do?"

They only asked "How are you?" or "How's it going?". That's it. There's no request in there to further explain why any of that is happening.

"How's it going?" is no different to "How's the project going?". It's going "good" or "bad" or "okay". Any extra information you put in, was never requested in that question. (I do agree that "it" can be vague, but you're always welcome to ask people what they mean when they ask.)

Adding in extra information is an assumption that that's what the other person wanted when asking. Do some people want it? Sure. Does everyone want it? No.

If they want to know more then they can and will ask. That's what follow up questions are for. "How are you?" - "Oh, not well." - "Sorry to hear that. What's been happening?" - " ~gives extra information here~" .

Follow up questions are basically creating a conversational map. It's giving people choices to where they want a conversation to head.

We talk about how people try to force autistics to suppress themselves.

But I don't think we talk enough about how society in many places tends to expect this from all adults.

I don't think many people even realise how many adults don't know how to emotionally regulate, don't know how to effectively communicate, don't know how to express their needs, and more.

What's even worse is when you realise that this always starts in childhood. From childhood, all these people are taught to be a specific way. They're taught this idea of "maturity" and "adulthood", and if you don't fit that idea then you're essentially othered.

It is quite obvious to see this being done in those with disabilities, but for the rest of society? It's a quiet process. Everyone looks past it because everyone is given this idea that that's what people are supposed to grow into.

Some parts of it do get touched on when we look at gender stereotyping, but it doesn't get spoken about enough.

Am I understanding that correctly? We created a term just to separate us from "neurotypicals"? (Had someone say that it's basically daydreaming while doing repetitive movements, which like...neurotypicals can and do daydream like that too).

Lowkey am sick of having to have terms that are essentially things everyone can experience but chucking some form of "neuro" or "autism" onto it so it can be ~different~.

Anyways, I don't think it's a term I will ever use because I don't think I need more terms to separate me from others and creating an 'us vs them'.

What's the point in having the terms hyperfixation and special interest anymore.

And you guys really want to shit on neurotypicals for using our terms wrong. We can't even keep the meanings of our terms because you guys are just as bad as neurotypicals.

Please stop acting like it is. There are times where it is better to keep your mouth shut or to say something else, instead of being "honest".

I feel like there's too many people who use being "honest" to get away with just being mean.

When people say autistics are usually "honest", it's usually around the fact that we blurt out the first thing on our mind without thinking it through. It's not an active choice we've made.

But if you have the ability to think it through, then you should be thinking it through. Honesty is not an excuse to be mean or to badmouth someone.

How many times do you say "I was just being honest, I don't understand why they're upset"? If you actively chose to be "honest", then you do know why they're upset. You chose to say something that probably would have been better left unsaid.