"I have cats at home. Come over."

Uhm.. Actually, you can be. There's a lot of people who are honest when answering that question. They just do it in ways that don't come across so upsetting or depressing.

Many people sugarcoat their answers to be more palatable for a greeting, or for a start of a conversation. It can also just be a polite way of giving others an out for a potential depressing conversation they may not want to be a part of.

These responses usually come in forms like, - "How are you?/How's it going?" - "Could be better." "It's definitely going." "I'm still alive." "I'm getting there." "New day, new problems." "Well, I'm still here." "Same old." "It's not all sunshine." "It's moving along". "It is what it is." "Not great but I'll survive." "Hoping tomorrow comes quickly." And many more responses like this. These are all ways of basically saying "Things are kinda/very shit at the moment for me". But they just don't go into detail about it. They are being honest, without the extra information.

If the other person doesn't want to go further into this then they may just responed with something like "I feel you", or "That's relatable", or "Yeh, that's life". Which are basically ways of saying "I acknowledge things aren't easy right now", without having to go into a conversation about it. Not everyone has the emotional energy to deal with conversations like that in that moment and that's okay.

One of the common arguments I keep seeing in this community lately is some people saying "I am higher support needs, I just mask it".

But you're not higher support needs. You're not masking higher support needs. That's not what being higher support needs means.

The ability to do something, even through masking, is NOT the same as not being able to do it at all, or still having major diffulties doing it despite masking.

The ability to do something with mild prompting is NOT the same as needing physical help to do the whole activity.

Some of you have skills that have been learned, and you're trying to brush them off under the guise of "masking". Do we all like the skills we've learned? No. Do we think all the skills we've learned are easy? No. (Not even allistics think that some of the skills they've learned are easy).

If you're masking something like successfully looking after your basic needs for feeding, bathing, dressing, cooking, toileting, cleaning, etc., and you've been doing it basically your whole life? Then you're not high support needs.

If you're masking driving to work, and then working a full time job, then you're not high support needs.

If you are consistently, and successfully doing your daily tasks every single day because you're masking, then you're not high support needs.

Reaching autistic burnout due to masking is not because you're high support needs either.

Are you not getting the supports you should be getting and deserve to be getting? Yes, you very likely aren't. Are those supports you actually need the same kind of support higher support need autistics need? No, very likely not.

We're not dismissing the reality of you needing support and you having the struggles you face, but what exactly makes you think you're higher support needs?

I'll do the most generic thing in life and be like "oh wow! I just did a normal person thing!", and check it off my list.

It feels very exciting when I do this. I feel very proud of myself. I get very excited when an opportunity presents itself, where I can safely participate in a "normal" person thing.

She doesn't dismiss my struggles or experiences, but she does remind me often that I am not the only one who experiences these things. That autistic people are not the only ones who experience these things or have difficulties with them.

She knows my struggles stem differently from hers and others. She knows that I do need support and she will help me where she can. But she does not allow me to ever think that autistic people like myself are the only ones who could ever struggle the ways that we do or experience the things that we do.

It is eye opening, honestly. It allows me to see people in such a different way than others might. It allows me to see people as people with their own set of unique difficulties. That some of those difficulties may look like mine. That some of their experiences will look like mine. Despite them not having the same disability that I have.