IT'S OKAY

Thank you to those who break their backs hauling around the pieces of those they care about. It doesn’t go unnoticed. After the superglue dries, lunch is on us.

Going to a matinee or a late night showing alone is such a treat. You get to watch whatever movie you want without someone being indecisive. You can sob during the sad bits and drool over the sexy ones. Throw on your biggest hoodie so that you can sneak in popcorn shrimp and a latte. Find the most center row spot. And enjoy the show! 

Enjoy whatever makes you feel full of love and joy. 

Whatever that mouth do — I hope you get to smile big ridiculous toothy smiles, often.

Sort of like window shopping. It all seems like a wonderful deals that you REALLY want. But moments before your debit card flies out of your wallet — you pause. You think about how you’re trying to be better with your money. You remember that you don’t actually need a monogramed bathrobe. BUT you do need to order that gift for your mom’s birthday because you won’t remember to do it later. So, you may as well treat yourself to that bathrobe since it will save on shipping. BUT THEN you see the total price with tax and shipping and whatever amount of handling they’re doing and the cycle repeats until you close your browser and end up sending your mom a lame text on her birthday instead.

Turn 30 and find someone that you want to share HPV and your bank account with. 

Urban Dictionary defines a Bowzer as: A Man or Woman who look exactly like the dog that they are walking. There are plenty of beautiful golden retrievers trotting about with their luscious locks in the wind. And hell, I’d gladly be a bowzer to one of them any day. 

Please, someone come Marie Kondo my inbox. 

IT’S OKAY TO MATCH. WHY is it such a big deal if you show up and someone else is wearing the same outfit? It just means you have super great taste. I’d say it would even mean that you hit the mark on dressing appropriately for the occasion. Celebrate these serendipitous events. You’re fashionable. You’re cool. You got it all.

Every meal can be dessert if you put in the effort.

I need to tell myself this more often. Leave the damn thing behind. Take a break. Unglue the device from your paws. Texting isn’t actual human contact. Melancholy isn’t fixable via social media. And no, Google doesn’t have all of the answers.  Challenge yourself.

Snakes are neat critters. They don’t have any legs, but they can get around super quick. They don’t have eyelids. Snakes do have ears - but they’re internal, not external. And like myself, they do not chew their food - they just swallow it whole. If you encounter a long legless boi in the wild, admire and leave it alone, especially in Ireland ... apparently Ireland does not have snakes, so if you see one, nope your way out of there. ✌🏻  

On Spotify I have a playlist called, Nasty Gal. It is the playlist I put on when I need to remove myself from a bummer situation and find a headspace where I can make solutions. It is also accompanied by a lot of dancing. A LOT of dancing. You can’t cry and dance to these songs. It just looks like jumping up and down - been there, cried that. I’m sorry if you’re feeling blue or if you miss someone or you’re frustrated. Make yourself an emergency playlist, turn it up loud, take off your clothes (not required) and dance until you’re ready to feel better. 

Meowzers look at him go!

Happy Cat Day!

If you listen, you can hear your S.O. slide open their dresser drawer or flick a hanger off of the rod to pluck the perfect t-shirt for you to wear. When you put on the article of clothing, you’re instantly comfy and casual. You can probably even do my favorite thing — take off your “outside” pants (aka: public pants, leg traps, beef stick squeezers, work pants.)  It doesn’t matter if the shirt is too big or a little snug, you look great in their eyes. And that feels darn tootin’ good.

DoN’t YoU DaRe ShAmE Me! 🎃