help me polarize

I decided to create a masterpost that would help you with what you are struggling with. Hopefully any of the links below will help you! Reminder; You’re going to be okay. What you are going through will pass, just remember to breathe. 

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Distractions;

Here are some distractions to help keep your mind occupied so you aren’t too focused on your thoughts. 

-Draw something

-This website translates the time into colours.

-Create your own galaxy.

-Play flowing.

-Make a 3D line travel where ever you like. 

-Listen to music.

-Calm.

-Ocean mood, do nothing for two minutes.

Sleep issues; 

- 8 hour sleep music.

-Rainy mood. 

-Meditation.

-Coping with nightmares.

-How to cope with nightmares, 11 steps.

-Calm

-Foods that can affect your sleeping, both positive and negatively. 

  Uncomfortable with silence; 

-Rainy mood.

-10 hours of rain and thunder.

-3 hours of rain and thunder.

-Human heartbeat.

-Rainforest.

-Sound of rain on a tin roof.

-Autumn wind.

-Rain on a tent

-Traffic in the rain.

-Soft traffic. 

-Fan.

-Train.

-Simply noise.

-My noise.

-Rainy cafe.

Anxiety; 

-How to stop worrying. 

-Tips to manage anxiety and stress.

-The 10 best ever anxiety management techniques. 

-Self-help strategies for anxiety. 

-Helping a friend with anxiety. 

-All about worrying.

-8 myths about anxiety. 

Sad, angry and depressed/depression; 

-“I’m always sad”

-Feeling sad.

-Going through trauma.

-“I’m always angry”.

-Anger management. 

-All about anger.

-National helplines and websites.

-Self-help strategies for depression.

-Dealing with depression at work.

-Dealing with depression at school.

Isolation and loneliness; 

-Pets and mental health.

-All about loneliness. 

-“I feel so alone”

-10 more ideas to help with loneliness. 

-How to deal with loneliness.

  Self-harm;

-Alternatives to self-harm and distraction techniques.

-146 things to do besides self-harm.

-More alternatives to self-harm.

-Self-harm alternatives.

-How to take care of self-harm wounds/injuries.

-Getting rid of scars.  

Addiction; 

-How to help a friend with a drug addiction.

-What is addiction?

-All about alcohol and addiction.

-The facts about drug addiction.

  Eating disorders; 

-Helping a friend with an eating disorder.

-Eating disorder treatments. 

-Support services for eating disorders. 

-Self-help tips with eating disorders.

-Eating disorder recovery. 

-Recovering from an eating disorder. 

-100+ reasons to recover. 

-Understanding and managing eating disorders. 

  Dealing with self-hatred;  

-3 ways to ease self-loathing. 

-How to turn self-hatred into self-compassion.

-Self-hatred resources.

-10 step plan to deal with self-hate. 

  Suicidal; 

-International suicide hotlines (1)  (2)

-Preventing suicide. 

-Reasons to stay alive.

-Dealing with suicidal thoughts and feelings.

-Coping with suicidal ideation.  

  Schizophrenia;

-All about schizophrenia.  

-Helping a person with schizophrenia.  

-Understanding and dealing with schizophrenia.  

-Delusions and hallucinations.  

OCD;

-Managing your OCD at home. 

-Overcoming OCD.

-How to cope with OCD. 

-Strategies for dealing with the anxious moments. 

Borderline personality disorder; 

-Helping someone with BPD. 

-All about personality disorders.

-Treatment for BPD.

Abuse; 

-Healthy relationships VS abusive relationships. 

-Emotional abuse

-Overcoming sexual abuse. 

-Hotlines services. 

-5 ways to escape an abusive relationship. 

-Domestic violence support. 

-Signs of an abusive relationship. 

-What do to if you’re in an abusive relationship. 

-Surviving abuse. 

-What you can do if you’re sexual harassed. 

-Sexual assault support.

-What to do if you’ve been sexually assaulted or abused. 

  Bullying;

-How to stand up against bullying.

-How to protect yourself when it comes to cyber bullying.

-How to help stop people bullying you. 

  Loss and grief; 

-How to cope with a suicide of a loved one.

-Grieving for a stranger. 

-Common reactions to death. 

-Working through grief.

(Other loss and grief)

-Moving away from friends and family. 

-Coping with a breakup.

  Getting help; 

-Seeking help early. 

-All about psychological treatments. 

-Types of help.

-All about age and confidentiality. 

Things you need to remember; 

- Don’t stress about being fixed because you’re not broken.

-Remember to remind yourself of your accomplishments. Tell yourself that you’re proud of yourself, even if you’re not. 

- This is temporary. You won’t always feel like this. 

-You are not alone. 

-You are enough. 

-You are important. 

-You are worth it. 

-You are strong. 

-You are not a failure, 

-Good people exist. 

-Reaching out shows strength. 

-Breathe. 

-Don’t listen to the thoughts that are not helping you. 

-Give yourself credit. 

-Don’t be ashamed of your emotions, for the good or bad ones. 

-Treat yourself the same way as you would treat a good friend. 

-Focus on the things you can change. 

-Let go of toxic people. 

-You don’t need to hide, you’re allowed to feel the way you do. 

-Try not to beat yourself up. 

-Something is always happening, you don’t want to miss out on what’s going to happen next. 

-You are not a bother.

-Your existence is more than your appearance. 

-You are smart. 

-You are loved. 

-You are wanted. 

-You are needed. 

-Better days are coming. 

-Just because your past is dark, doesn’t mean your future isn’t bright. 

-You have more potential than you think. 

- Your value doesn’t decrease based on someone’s inability to see your worth.

this is a list of every book i have read that has a sapphic character/relationship that's at least involving a prominent side character. some of these are Very focused on the sapphic romance and others not as much - i will blurb and tell u a little about each :) including ratings because some of these weren't my favorite, but i still like to spread the word where rep is concerned

The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo 4.5/5

literary fiction about a movie star's life with the hook being 'she's had seven husbands, who was the love of her life' and of COURSE it was a woman. this is very gay. i liked it a bunch and still think about it

Bloody Rose 5/5

this book has a gay lady bard and a bi/pan sorceress who summons demons tattooed on her skin. there is also the best 'only one bed' scene i have ever read in my life between these two

Down Among the Sticks and Bones 3.5/5

i remember enjoying this, but it didn't stick in my brain too much. focusing on a young pair of twins that walk through a door into another magical land, one of them is queer

Furyborn 3/5

both of the MCs in this are bi, not a ton of sapphic content in the books romance-wise aside from some hookups and threesomes. these are fun and fast-paced, didn't stick in my brain too much after but they have some Banger quotes

The Midnight Lie 5/5

i'm fully feral about this one. one of my favorite WLW books out there, this has the suave, trickster love interest but sapphic and it's done so fucking well

Foundryside 3/5

i listened to this one on audio. enjoyed the representation and remember the magic system being sick, don't remember much about the characters at all

Gideon the Ninth 5/5

this one makes me feel absolutely unhinged. we have lesbians with swords. we have necromancers. we have sworn fealty between the sword lesbian and the necromancer, we have enemies to lovers. this book feels so sapphic and broke my rating system if i could i would give it a 10

Compass Rose 3.5/5

sapphic scifi pirate submarine romance!! and enemies to lovers. i really enjoyed this one and have re-read it since, the dynamic is V fun (between a navigator and a pirate captain)

Crier's War 2.5/5

this one felt very surface-level to me, and i didn't end up continuing on with the series. might have hit different if I was in the younger YA reading age group but just didn't hit for me!

Stars are Legion 3/5

enjoyed this one, it has since kinda left my mind except for the general vibe it gave me! don't remember the sapphic elements too much either but it's a solid Scifi

The Light Brigade 3/5

see above, i feel exactly the same about this one. scifi elements were Sick

This is How you Lose the Time War 5/5

never have i read anything that oozes yearning like this one. opposing agents in a time war leaving love letters within the fabric of time. star-crossed sapphics. it's incredible.

Thorn 3/5

beauty and the beast retelling but sapphic! this was a quick read, i enjoyed it, don't think about it too much but if you like that fairytale is very worth the read

The Priory of the Orange Tree 4/5

queen/bodyguard romance!!!!! u heard me!!! i could not put this book down and their dynamic is wonderful. highly recommend if you want some High Fantasy

A Memory Called Empire 4/5

scifi sapphics have entered the chat again. i really enjoyed this! the romance specifically didn't really stick with me a ton but the writing and themes did. sick world building too

The Unspoken Name 5/5

y'all. this one has an orc sword lesbian and shE!!!! i loved this one. it has one of my favorite friend dynamics i've read in a long while and the romance is So Sweet

Call Down the Hawk 3.5/5

i enjoyed this but couldn't tell u a thing about the sapphic couple in this (I think they were mainly hinted at in this one??). they weren't memorable to me but an enjoyable read.

The Witchling's Girl 3/5

death witches and dark ambiance is the name of the game with this one. another one i enjoyed and would recommend if it sounds like exactly your thing, but didn't stick with me

The Bone Shard Daughter 4/5

i realllly liked this one. the sapphic relationship centers around a rebellion and they have some Super understandable conflict that's handled really well. this one has bone magic for Days and is the start of a sick fantasy

The Space Between Worlds 5/5

this one blew me away. it's like?? multiverse travel with mad max vibes. the writing of this was stunning, the characters Really stuck with me, and the relationship in it was a lovely undercurrent to the rest of it

Nottingham 4.5/5

robin hood retelling but gay????? i Adored this. it's very much a romance-centric retelling and robyn's character and the dynamic between her and marian just made me absolutely lose it. can't recommend enough

The Wolf and the Woodsman 4.5/5

this one is all dark woods, god magic, and cold atmosphere. there's a sapphic couple that took me by surprise and i really enjoyed the dynamic they added to the story. they're quite on the fringes of it, but the way their relationship intersected with some of the novel's themes was lovely

Witchshadow 4.5/5

this series has a gay pirate queen with tide magic and i just think,,, that she is neat,, it also does the 'two people fall into the water and the one with water magic kisses the other in order to give them air/save them from drowning' with the gays and Boy did that hit! this is YA high fantasy that reads like adult imo, i've loved these a bunch

do it for science

you get a chance to win up to 15 pounds!

it’ll take only 15 mins :)

please 

So there’s a known thing in the study of human psychology/sociology/what-have-you where men are known to, on average, rely entirely on their female romantic partner for emotional support. Bonding with other men is done at a more superficial level involving fun group activities and conversations about general subjects but rarely involves actually leaning on other men or being really honest about emotional problems. Men use alcohol to be able to lower their inhibitions enough to expose themselves emotionally to other men, but if you can’t get emotional support unless you’re drunk, you have a problem.

So men need to have a woman in their lives to have anyone they can share their emotional needs and vulnerabilities with. However, since women are not socialized to fear sharing these things, women’s friendships with other women are heavily based on emotional support. If you can’t lean on her when you’re weak, she’s not your friend. To women, what friendship is is someone who listens to all your problems and keeps you company.

So this disconnect men are suffering from is that they think that only a person who is having sex with you will share their emotions and expect support. That’s what a romantic partner does. But women think that’s what a friend does. So women do it for their romantic partners and their friends and expect a male friend to do it for them the same as a female friend would. This fools the male friend into thinking there must be something romantic there when there is not.

This here is an example of patriarchy hurting everyone. Women have a much healthier approach to emotional support – they don’t die when widowed at nearly the rate that widowers die and they don’t suffer emotionally from divorce nearly as much even though they suffer much more financially, and this is because women don’t put all their emotional needs on one person. Women have a support network of other women. But men are trained to never share their emotions except with their wife or girlfriend, because that isn’t manly. So when she dies or leaves them, they have no one to turn to to help with the grief, causing higher rates of death, depression, alcoholism and general awfulness upon losing a romantic partner. 

So men suffer terribly from being trained in this way. But women suffer in that they can’t reach out to male friends for basic friendship. I am not sure any man can comprehend how heartbreaking it is to realize that a guy you thought was your friend was really just trying to get into your pants. Friendship is real. It’s emotional, it’s important to us. We lean on our friends. Knowing that your friend was secretly seething with resentment when you were opening up to him and sharing your problems because he felt like he shouldn’t have to do that kind of emotional work for anyone not having sex with him, and he felt used by you for that reason, is horrible. And the fact that men can’t share emotional needs with other men means that lots of men who can’t get a girlfriend end up turning into horrible misogynistic people who think the world owes them the love of a woman, like it’s a commodity… because no one will die without sex. Masturbation exists. But people will die or suffer deep emotional trauma from having no one they can lean on emotionally. And men who are suffering deep emotional trauma, and have been trained to channel their personal trauma into rage because they can’t share it, become mass shooters, or rapists, or simply horrible misogynists.

Ok guys, I know you’ve all seen like a million of these tumblr posts but

Please

Please

Please

Like and reblog this post as much as possible.

My friend is contemplating suicide and we’ve agreed that for every note this gets, she lives another day.

So please, please like, reblog and comment on this post

Me, ears perking up: “Great! Can I have their name?”

Customer: “It’s Stephanie ____”

1. Take a deep breath - Let out all that anxiety over the project you’re doing so you can think clearly

2. Pull up a clean sheet of paper and something to write with - You can use a fresh word doc, new page in your journal or planner or whatever else works for you, the idea is that after this you will have a physical list to look at to help keep you on task.

3. Identify your obstacles (i.e. What is keeping you from doing this task?) - For example: Is it scary? If so, why? Does it feel too hard? Is there something else that you feel needs to be done first? Write these down!

4. Plan how to overcome your obstacles - This can take some creativity and some thinking to best figure out how to overcome the obstacle. I’ve included examples below for potential plans.

Example 1:

Obstacle: I don’t know the best way to approach this task.

Plan: Brainstorm on paper ways that you might be able to approach this task. Google ways to accomplish this task. Review lecture notes or example homework problems on how to accomplish this task. Ask a friend/coworker/classmate how they might start the task. Write down everything you feel might be relevant until you feel like you know where to start and where to go.

Example 2:

Obstacle: This feels too big and overwhelming so I don’t want to do it.

Plan: Break down the tasks into smaller, tiny tasks. Make them as small as you need to make them feel manageable. Write down all these tasks check them off as you go. 

Example 3:

Obstacle: I’m waiting for someone to get back to me with comments on this project but they’re taking too long.

Plan: Follow up with this person and identify what you can do without their comments. For example, if you’re waiting for someone to sent you a section of a project or paper, write your section to the best of your ability. Can you have someone else review this project and still get good feedback. Or tell yourself you’ll revise/edit your project and integrate their comments later when you get to them. Often when I identify what feels out of order, I can move past it or put it farther down my list so I’m no longer just stuck waiting.

5. Encourage yourself and commend yourself for filling in the gaps actively that your brain couldn’t do on it’s own today. - You’re doing a great job!

Sincerely,

yea lol

For a long fucking time

with why my adderall was having such uneven effects and varying efficacy

and the weird pattern of what made it work and not work and if it was building up in my system or not

and fucking nobody told me I shouldn’t drink a glass of Kool-Aid to take the pills with

or eat fucking Pop-Tarts or Life cereal

this is the most useful information I have ever received from tubr and it seems to be confirmed by several other places upon searching

For example, most H&M blouses these days don’t even have boobdarts. Which means they will sit awkwardly on literally anyone with boobs, no matter the size. But on hangers or when folded on display? They look fab as fuck. Because hangers don’t have boobs. And the models chosen to show them on the catwalk are usually chosen for their lack of boobage too (unless it’s for lingerie), other requirements including ridiculous size and weight requirements. As for the average (EU available) clothing shops, the worst offender I’ve encountered yet was Zara. Everything’s way too long and way too flat: clearly aimed to look good on the catwalk models but not intended for normal people. At all.

Also sizes are just numbers. Shopping online has taught me that I’m a European M, an American XS-S, and a Japanese L-XL. And then these sizes even vary from shop to shop in the same country: I’m an XL at Apples but an S at Lola&Liza, for example. They’ve also been reducing the sizes of these numbers throughout the years to make people feel bad about themselves and to sell more weight-loss products. Don’t let a number get you down, it does not define you.

Only 0.6% of clothes are available in 46 (again : french size) when 10% of women wear that size. 14% of clothes are available in 34 when only 0.7% of women wear that size.

The most selled size is 42 when the most manufactured is 36.

Anyways. These.

Hello there you beautiful, shining stars,

For those of you who are new, our names are C and N and we are the admins of this blog!

We are a disabled queer couple and have been together ten years as of the end of October. We’ve got three cats, a stubborn doggo, and two crested geckos!

C and I have been hit hard by the pandemic, like most people have been in the USA (where we come from). We’ve been doing everything we can to make the stimulus money we were given last, but as we get into winter, it’s run out. We’re not sure if there will be another one, and when it could be, and we’re concerned we won’t be able to make it much longer. On top of that, our apartment building is increasing it’s rent in December by another $50, when we can’t afford the current price.

C had been trying to find a local job, but C’s immune system is compromised and both of us were scared that he would catch it. And… he did. Now we’re both dealing with covid on top of other struggles and it’s just… it’s a lot.

Asking y’all for help is something we usually avoid doing, because the idea of monetizing this blog hurts our hearts. But we also know we need to be able to admit when we’re in need.

And… we’re in need of help, loves.

If you’d like to directly donate to us, our paypal is: [email protected]

If you’d prefer to get something for your donation, I sell art commissions on my art tumblr, https://tiny-pastel-unicorn.tumblr.com/ You can see my examples for said art here: https://sta.sh/21f0h7yv2y9b

We also have an amazon wishlist if you’d prefer that: https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/16FH3EUB5XMPN?ref_=wl_share

Any amount of help is greatly appreciated. 

If y’all could just… see the energy C puts into this blog… he spends night after night, when he could be playing Minecraft or watching Bailey Sarian, filling up the queue and making sure it lasts. Because he doesn’t want y’all to come on tumblr, hoping to see a reason, only for the queue to be empty. He puts that above himself on a daily basis.

We sincerely appreciate what y’all have done for our blog and us in the past, in the present, and we know we will appreciate anything in the future. Without all of you and your support, we would have been lost a long, long time ago.

We love you all so much and we hope your October goes well~

Roommate: Did you want to come to church with me, or do you have your own church you’re going to?

Mom: Well, I don’t really go to religious services, but if I did I would go to a synagogue, not a church, because I’m Jewish.

(Long silence. My mom opens one eye to see her roommate staring in shock.)

Roommate: You … you don’t look Jewish.

Mom: (Who looks VERY Jewish) What do you mean?

Roommate: Well, my pastor always told me that Jews have horns and a tail.