mistakes are so normal and human and inevitable and necessary and real. if i make one however please put me to death

Welcome aboard shipmate!

I realise I’m being exceedingly dogmatic on this point, but I don’t care how many mimics and owlbears you throw in: it’s not a Dungeons & Dragons movie if the dragons don’t talk.

is it fine if they only get in one incredibly menacing sentence

It ain’t about whether they’re technically capable of speech or not. Like, I’m not just being cranky about consistent worldbuilding for once; the fact that most monsters are a. capable of speech, and b. willing to exercise that capability to engage the protagonists in arguments about incredibly stupid shit is literally one of the central conceits that distinguishes D&D-style fantasy from other fantasy subgenres. It’s fundamental to the vibe.

*dips quill bitchily into the inkwell*

god I just. love ruthlessness as a character trait so much. sexy sexy sexy

Katherine Applegate is fucking hardcore, man.

Got in a big order from my favorite mushroom company and apparently now they give you mushroom trading cards as freebies?

Oh Doreen. “Hang on, gotta put on my cute headband before I can do hero shit!”