Kyra, she/her, aro/ace, queer in general. I have a lot of Loki feelings. I write fanfic sometimes, mostly about Loki. I like stupid jokes and I play games on easy because I'm an adult and I can do that if I want to. I also dabble in customizing action figures, and I have an Etsy shop for simple Funko Pop! customs and a few other things. Formerly visions-and-revisions. I also run the Hope Jar and Alaska Gothic. Ace Inquisitor icon by doriansbutt--go commission them!
because Iād love to have a fancier pinned post but realistically itāll be years before I get around to making one and Iād like something useful in the meantime, Iām just going to make a list of potentially interesting/relevant links...
Archive of Our Own (also I have several invites)
Twitter, Instagram, Bluesky, Mastodon grudgingly and I havenāt actually used it yet
Discord: 100indecisions
Grouvee but I mostly just use it for obsessively listing games Iāve played or want to play rather than talking about themĀ
GoodReadsĀ and Storygraph, ditto, although I do occasionally write book reviews on GoodReads, especially about Loki-related books (I have a whole shelf for this...and another shelf of Hiddleston-related books)
my tiny Etsy shop
my carrd, with a few other links
a scattershot guide to shopping with Xianyu and SuperbuyĀ
and tags:
occasionally I write things: my writing tag (all finished stuff is on AO3 though)
adventures in customizing: customized action figures (well, mostly Funko figures) and other craft-type things sometimes
my meta: my meta/headcanon posts, which sometimes means original posts and sometimes just means I reblogged something and added a little in the tags; primarily but not exclusively about Loki (one in particular is my attempt at a comprehensive list of evidence that Loki was tortured on Sanctuary)
the adventures of tiny Loki and Thor: silly action figure photos
loki show: well thatās my tag for the Loki show. itās also the one to blacklist if you really hated it, because I mostly really liked it, so nearly everything I post about it is positive
I have an army...of Loki figures: my collection of Loki figures, plushies, pins, etc. Iāve been building it since at least 2014. itās, uh, large
my kids: my fuzzy children (one dog, one cat)...and characters I make in games, because they are also my children
kyra plays: posts about games Iām playing
fic rec: fic recs
queer stuff: self-explanatory
this whole thing smacks of gender: apparently I might not be 100% cis after all, which is news to me (Iām like. still mostly cis but also a tiny bit agender, but specifically in a āmy tag about this is based on a dril tweetā way?)Ā
plagueblogging: started out as personal pandemic-related stuff, kinda expanded to 2020 in general, kinda went back to being specifically pandemic-related when 2020 ended and everything that came with it...didnāt (as of April 2022, includes my own experiences with covid, yaaaay)
cool stuff people made me: commissions and art requests mostly
the-hope-jar: my sideblog for just like...hopeful/encouraging/happy things
alaska-gothic: my sideblog for what it says on the tin (includes some of my own photography, although not a lot, and I keep meaning to post more)
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Ā Loki Fix-it Fics
The Loki-Centric Gen List
Loki-centric Gen List Part Two
The Sifki Rec List
Consign Me Not To Darkness by @cailjei -- Odin pulls Loki back up onto the broken Bifrost with magic, and, recognising that Loki needs help, has him taken to the infirmary. There Thor seeks to convince Loki of their brotherhood after learning of his adoption, and offers a heartfelt apology after thinking hard about his past treatment of his brother.
It's Not Always Black and White by Ceitidh_Kat -- What if Loki ignored Thor's order to start Ragnarok and found another way to stop Hela? Bruce is there in the aftermath, and starts learning that perhaps his view of Loki as a villain is not entirely correct. (Unfinished, but at a place where it works as an open ending with Asgard being rebuilt.)
A Flickering Light by Delyth (@delyth88) -- Aboard the Statesman, Loki has a back-up plan. Dying with his neck crushed, he uses the last of his magic to tug on the thread of Bifrost energy he had tied to himself, and is carried away in the wake of the Hulk to Earth, where he falls into the care of Doctor Strange.
Straightaway Into The Water by dixiehellcat -- The Lokis from the Void are dropped into the battle with Thanos. Flung towards a giant purple hand wearing the Infinity Gauntlet, Lokigator knows what to do. A chomp replaces the snap, and everything ends up so much better. Endgame fix-it.
A Garden of Infinite Possibility by @eienvine -- Loki falls into the Void and lands at the feet of the Norns, who show him the future of the path he has chosen and offer him another, of his own choice. In the end he realises there is only one he wants, the one that leads back to Asgard.
Rapprochement by elenniel -- Sif finds Loki's body floating in space amongst the wreckage of the refugee ship.
Winter Brother by Evening_Bat -- Thor AU. On Midgard, Thor regains his powers protecting his little brother from attack when Loki shows up desperate for comfort after learning of his heritage.
Broken Bonds by Fireflysummer -- He is dying but not yet dead. But it is enough to see his mother again before circumstances return Loki to his body on Svartalfheim.
Death Awaits by Florafangfei -- A translated fic. Odin has sentenced Loki to death, then informs Thor that he is returning to Odinsleep and Thor must choose the date of Loki's death. Meanwhile, a talkative old prisoner in the cell next to Loki's tries to forge a connection with him while Thor struggles with deciding what to do.
Abandoned by Haroku-Mizumi (Rewrite) -- Loki's time in prison ends sooner rather than later when his family refuse to abandon him. Also The Hardest Person To Forgive (Loki staying at Avengers Tower) and others.
The Frigga Variant by Hawkeye221b -- Frigga is pruned, and the Lokis in the Void get a mother back.
Undying by @iguessyouregonnamissthepantyraid -- Loki joins with the Avengers to fight Thanos when Thanos crushes Thor's neck instead of his own. When half of all life crumbles to dust in front of their eyes, however, a desperate plan is hatched -- to find and use the Time Stone to prevent it from happening by fighting Thanos in the past, the last time he was on Earth -- during Loki's Midgard invasion.
Imposter Syndrome by Infinite_Monkeys (@aninfinitenumberofmonkeys) -- Loki Odinson didn't attack Midgard, Loki Laufeyson -- Odin's blood-brother -- did, after tricking his nephew into freeing him from his prison in the Void and then delivering him to Thanos. Now, newly escaped, it's up to Loki Odinson to save his home and family with a little help from the Guardians of the Galaxy.
Some Do Tricks by @jaggedcliffs -- Post-Avengers AU. When Thanos comes to Earth to retrieve the Mind Stone, Loki -- free, but in hiding -- must step out of the shadows to save Thor's life and join the Avengers to defeat Thanos. Very good ending with a lot of hope for a better future.
The Changeling by KennB -- Loki is shoved through a time door at the TVA and ends up in New Asgard. Set after Thor: Love and Thunder. Something like this is exactly how I'd love to see the series and the movie canon merge.
Life's Great Lie by @laeveteinn -- Loki will do anything to escape the TVA. Fantastic ending.
Loki Odinson by Livin4Jesus -- When Loki refuses to speak up in his own defense at his trial post-Avengers, Odin uses magic to expose Loki's memories to all in attendance instead. This changes everything as Loki is pardoned and welcomed home. Includes the Avengers on Asgard and an eventual confrontation with Thanos.
The Apple Is A Lie by @lookingkindofdumb -- Odin sneaks himself and Loki into Jotunheim, where Loki is tasked with repairing the damage the Bifrost left and Odin attempts to repair the bond between himself and his youngest son.
And You Have Made Us Proud by Loki Is Not Low Key -- Loki arrives in Valhalla to find his parents there to welcome him.
a species of desperation by Mira_Jade -- Thor AU. As Sif lies dying from the black ice spreading across her body after killing Helblindi Laufeyson, a desperate Loki embraces his heritage to save her life. Includes a penitent, not-banished Thor, father-son hugs, and talk of the brothers ruling together one day.
(she sings) come home by neonheartbeat -- Sylvie finds a home in New Asgard while Loki becomes increasingly engulfed in the ever-expanding timelines of the multiverse. Can she find a way to free him and bring him home to her and Thor?
the breath and the dirt and the fires are burned by neverwherever -- In New Asgard, Thor knows that Loki is dead. But he can't quite give up that last desperate hope that his brother might come back to him again. (Endgame fix-it)
The Worst Laid Plans by @omnicat -- Fluffy fix-it crack set post TDW. Also:
Like Father-KIng, Like Wannabe-Dictator-Son -- Thor can't figure out why Odin is welcoming Loki home so warmly after Loki's invasion of Midgard. Neither can Loki at first, but he's cheerfully rolling with it.
All the very best of us string ourselves up for love by 100indecisions (aka @thelightofthingshopedfor) -- During the battle with Thanos in space, Heimdall sends Loki to Earth instead of the Hulk -- to Stephen Strange. Infinity War AU.
My son, my son, my son, (my son???) and me: A Frigga Story by palwithpen -- TDW/Loki series AU. Frigga gets pruned instead of killed and meets up with Loki in the Void. All four of them. (Crack treated seriously) š
Wanted: A Nursemaid For Two Adorable Children by Petofi -- Loki is saved from falling into the Void by Mary Poppins, arriving centuries after two young princes wrote a notice for a new nursemaid, much delayed but also at exactly the right time.
First and Foremost, Red by RC_McLachlan (@rcmclachlan) -- Odin engineers Thor and Jane's break-up, but when Tony and Loki, with Thanos hot on their heels, bring Jane the Infinity Gauntlet in hopes she can undo it, she resists the pull of the Infinity Stones to shape all of reality to her liking -- and gets what she wants most anyway. Infinity War AU.
In the Land of The Frost Giants by RecordRewind -- When Loki learns the truth of his heritage as a child, he runs away to Jotunheim. But when both Odin and Thor show up looking for him, Loki accepts that they are his family, and they all return safely to Asgard.
We were under the same sky at least by rories -- Valhalla is beautiful, and his parents welcome him. But there are two people missing that keep Loki from fully enjoying it. Odin suggests there might be a way back to the living.
Rattling Realisations by @runarelle -- Thor brings Loki's scepter back to Asgard and Odin recognises exactly what the stone inside it is. This time, when he seeks out answers from Loki, he refuses to leave until he gets them. First part of a 3 part series, the next 2 fics deal with Loki's relationships with Frigga and Thor.
David Attenborough is In My Bedroom by RunRabbitRun -- As a rare Pygmy Jotun, Loki has been placed on the Endangered Species list. Crack.
None So Blind by Sarah1281 -- Thor AU where a disgraced but not banished Thor is the one who finds Loki in the Vault. His stubborn refusal to see Loki as a Frost Giant actually calms Loki down so that when Odin appears, things go much better. Crack treated seriously.
Dishonor by Scotchkiss -- When Loki's body is brought back from Svartalfheim, a priest confirms his soul is already in Valhalla, but that Odin's is in jeopardy. But Odin gets a chance to change his fate when the Norns decide Loki needs to work out his relationship with his father to find peace and send his soul back to his body.
Time and Trouble by shinyopals -- Loki's only in the background here, but it's a Dark World AU where Frigga lives and Jane Foster gets to be the heroine who brings her back.
Chaos Theory by @slightweasel -- After Loki flees with the Tesseract in Endgame, he stops someplace safe to look into its depths -- and sees hints of another timeline. He casts a spell to retrieve that knowledge, and when he's done, everyone has two sets of memories.
Silver and Cold by STIXandMANNY -- Thor finds Loki in his cell covered in runes and with a dagger in his chest and looking only 15 years old. When the palace healers see the runes, they refuse to treat Loki, and Thor must take his brother to Midgard in the hopes that his friends there can save Loki's life.
That Moment When You're the God of Lies and Everyone Can Read You Like a Book by tonystarkhasaheart3000 -- When questions about Loki's behavior on Midgard are raised at his trial, Odin casts a truth spell on his son to find out what really happened.
the only soul I've ever saved by @valkyrisms -- Post Endgame. Peter Parker finds Loki's body in a dumpster, his neck broken -- but still, somehow, alive.
Then Neither Am I by Writinthestars -- Thor finally gets a chance to see Loki when the prisoners' riot draws him to the dungeons. Set during TDW.
The Sincerest Form by @xparrot -- Confined to a cell in Asgard's deepest dungeon while his son rules above in his name, Odin receives an unexpected visitor one day who makes everything better and gives him hope for the future. Set post TDW.
Icy Diplomacy by Zaniida -- After Thor invades Jotunheim, Laufey lays down the terms if Odin wants to avoid them going to war. Thor must be removed from the line of succession so Loki becomes the next king of Asgard. Fighting the Odinsleep, Odin has 3 days to return an answer, complicated by the need to punish Thor and his companions and reassure his younger son -- still blue after contact with Laufey. WIP.
well, there are a lot of things about it. one is that it's just fucking sad, although at least she had a long life. it's evil that Alzheimer's progressively stole more and more of the last few years from her, but she had all the years before that. she did have a very full, long life. many people don't get to have that. she'd also reached a point where her quality of life was extremely low, so the person I knew had effectively already been gone for a while.
she was diagnosed with long covid before Alzheimer's, which could mean that early Alzheimer's was mistaken for the brain fog of long covid, but it could just as easily mean that her bout of covid triggered Alzheimer's in the first place, because that is very much a thing that covid can do. she caught covid in early 2022, I think, so back in the earliest days of "la la the pandemic is over now because we said so!" and I can't help being just generally sad and angry about that. my grandpa has developed some non-Alzheimer's dementia issues too, so maybe some mental deterioration was inevitable, but I can't help thinking that it just didn't have to be like this.
he's alone now. they were pretty much never apart, at least until her Alzheimer's complicated things. his health is...not completely terrible, all things considered, but nobody really expects him to outlive her for long. I don't think he was doing much most of the day anyway, aside from meals and family visits (which I don't think happened every day), and...now he's alone. well, right now he's not, family's there, but I don't know how much time they're spending at the care home given they don't want to tire him out, and inevitably he's going to be alone.
I always wished I got to see them more often when I was a kid. I know my cousins were closer to them growing up because they got to see our grandparents more often, just because they all lived in the Midwest. obviously it was a lot harder for us, living in Alaska, because driving to visit wasn't realistic and it was always an extra flight just to get into the lower 48. they did visit us sometimes, but not as often, I don't think. we often managed some kind of just-for-fun vacation and a visit-extended-family vacation most years when I was growing up, and that was good, but it doesn't compare to how my cousins regularly spent holidays with the grandparents and things like that. and then there were a few years when I was an adult that I probably couldn't afford to go anywhere, but there was a lot more time when I was an adult that I could have visited them and just didn't, first because it sort of didn't occur to me that that was a thing I could do without it being organized by someone else, and then because Trump was president and I couldn't stand the thought of visiting them and having to listen to hateful nonsense on Fox News, and also I was genuinely worried that they were going to have a problem with me being queer. and by the time I found out that the queer thing, at least, was probably a nonissue, it was summer 2021 and there was too much covid for me to want to do any travel, and I did finally visit again in 2022 and every year since then but my grandma had already started losing some words by then and I guess I'll just always regret that I didn't go back earlier.
and that's another thing. my grandparents were/are very, very Christian. it's a hugely important part of their lives. my grandpa was a pastor on and off for...a very long time. my grandma always led singing at his churches. all the tributes to my grandma focus primarily on her faith in Christ. and I'm over here like...trying to reconcile the fact that my grandparents were/are very fucking conservative with my strong belief that they were/are also good people, because I am wildly not the same person I was 20 years ago and "Christian" no longer means "good person" to me because I've seen what self-professed Christians do when they get even a sliver of power.
and the queer thing was complicated, and I never talked about it with them and now I never will, and I'm 99% sure they both voted Republican for most of their lives, and they liked ghouls like James Dobson, and yet I'm sure they were good people just in general and I'm gutted that I'll never have opportunities for serious conversations with them about...anything, like I probably could have done if I'd only visited them more when I was an adult.
it's all very easy, too, believing in Heaven, because if you're a Christian, of course you go there, and everything is fine. but for a variety of reasons I really don't know what I believe anymore, about what happens when we die, so I don't know what to think. because it doesn't make sense to me that we can have these souls--beautiful, evil, mediocre, everything--and then they can just be gone like they never existed. that feels...deeply, deeply wrong. I have to think that the soul continues to exist somewhere beyond the physical. but where and how, I have no idea. it's a black box. I'm sort of inclined to think that all religious people of good will get the positive afterlife their religion taught them to expect. (I won't lie, I also want to believe there's a punishment after death for the truly evil people, because a lot of them just aren't going to be punished while they're alive.) and people of good will in general who aren't religious, I don't know. I hope it's a pleasant surprise.
so, I mean, I think my grandma is with her sisters again, all but the youngest, who will join them at some point. I think my grandpa will join her. I think she's at peace, her mind and body no longer ravaged by Alzheimer's. it's just not as simple of a belief as it would have been when I was a kid, because I guess I'm not confident enough that I'll see her again, and I already missed the person she used to be even before she actually died.
well, and then I also feel weird for having all these complicated Thoughts and Feelings about the whole situation, because I feel like most people deal with this (where this = grieving family, but also figuring out what they think about life after death) a lot earlier than 39. and, I don't know, I suppose I feel guilty somehow that it's taken so long for me to experience the death of a close (extended, but still close) family member, when it seems like most people aren't that lucky.
that theory that the Arkenstone is a Silmarilā¦itās doubly implausible, but imagine if nobody knew. If the dwarves were guarded enough of their greatest treasure thatā¦you wouldnāt even need to hide it from that many people, honestly. Mostly a few elves, and all wizards.
and then Bilbo sidles up to Gandalf like,Ā āThorin and all are holed up in the Mountain, but I think theyāre being nuts, so Iā¦kind of stole the Arkenstone, I think.ā And (itās been thousands of years since the light of the trees was doused save for the precious brilliance locked away in Feanorās gems,Ā since oaths and blood and war that raged until the skies cracked and the earth shattered, and the little people of the Shire have no memory of it at all) he pulls out a fucking Silmaril.
Gandalf: *hurriedly glances at Thranduil. the king of Mirkwoodās eyes shine with curiosity and greed, but not recognition, nor the terrible lust that overtook Feanor and his sons. right, right, he was never in Thingolās court while the jewel that Luthien and Beren took was there. weāre good. weāre good for now*
Gandalf: Thatās, uh, nice, Bilbo. Put it away, would you?
Gandalf, telepathically(?): EMERGENCY RINGBEARERS ONLY CONFAB NOW
Gandalf: [mental image of a goddam Silmaril in hobbit hands, labelledĀ āthisfuckingrockagain.jpgā]
Galadriel, who watched 95% of her family slaughter everyone within 100 miles for several thousand years over these things, including each other and themselves:Ā no.
Elrond, who was very nearly one of those people slaughtered, and did watch most of his town be killed before he and his twin were kidnapped for a while:Ā Absolutely Fucking Not.
Gandalf:Ā Apparently fucking yes. The legendary Arkenstone-
Galadriel:Ā Youāve got to be kidding me.
Elrond: Thorin OakenshieldĀ has a SilmarilĀ right now?
I mean, given that Tolkien retconned āThe Hobbitā so Bilboās little invisibility ring became an ancient piece of jewelry that controls minds and drives the mighty mad, one can at least understandĀ why it seems plausible that the other shiny white gem that destroys empires and makes the mighty go mad with greedĀ could be linked from his kidās book to his gigantic early mythology in retrospect??
You know this actually explains a lot about why Gandalf didnāt immediately raise the alarm about Bilboās ring out of an abundance of caution.
I mean, what are the odds, what are the fucking odds, that this one little hobbit stole both a Silmaril andĀ the Ring of Power? Like, you are Gandalf the Grey and you have already dealt with the heart attack to end all heart attacks because this little innocent fool stole a world war inspiring artifact once. You still get flashbacks every time Bilbo offers to show you something and have to employ all of your angelās serenity and thousands of years of learned composure not start giBbERinGĀ ā pleaseletitnotbeanotherartifactpleaseletitnotbeanotherartifactā.
And then. AND THEN! One day heās like,Ā āhey Gandalf let me show you this neat ring I found back on our journeyā. And on the inside a tiny part of you is screamingĀ ānottheoneringnottheoneringnottheoneringā while a more rational part of your brain assures you it could not possiblyĀ be the one-
āItās this plain gold ring thatās very precious to me and turns me invisible!ā
AND THEN YOU FUCK OFF AND SEARCH THROUGH EVERY POSSIBLE TOME YOU CAN TO PROVE IT CANāT REALLY BE THE RING OF POWER, SAURONāS RING OF POWER, THAT RING, THE ONE RING, LITERALLY EVERY SINGLE TOME, BEFORE FINALLY FUCKING ACKNOWLEDGING THAT THIS SHIT IS REALLY HAPPENING AGAIN
āAverage Hobbit finds at least one world war inspiring artifact when on a journeyā statistic inaccurate. The Spiders Took Family, who find a world war inspiring artifact every five feet they step outside the Shire, were outliers and should not have been counted.
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well, there are a lot of things about it. one is that it's just fucking sad, although at least she had a long life. it's evil that Alzheimer's progressively stole more and more of the last few years from her, but she had all the years before that. she did have a very full, long life. many people don't get to have that. she'd also reached a point where her quality of life was extremely low, so the person I knew had effectively already been gone for a while.
she was diagnosed with long covid before Alzheimer's, which could mean that early Alzheimer's was mistaken for the brain fog of long covid, but it could just as easily mean that her bout of covid triggered Alzheimer's in the first place, because that is very much a thing that covid can do. she caught covid in early 2022, I think, so back in the earliest days of "la la the pandemic is over now because we said so!" and I can't help being just generally sad and angry about that. my grandpa has developed some non-Alzheimer's dementia issues too, so maybe some mental deterioration was inevitable, but I can't help thinking that it just didn't have to be like this.
he's alone now. they were pretty much never apart, at least until her Alzheimer's complicated things. his health is...not completely terrible, all things considered, but nobody really expects him to outlive her for long. I don't think he was doing much most of the day anyway, aside from meals and family visits (which I don't think happened every day), and...now he's alone. well, right now he's not, family's there, but I don't know how much time they're spending at the care home given they don't want to tire him out, and inevitably he's going to be alone.
I always wished I got to see them more often when I was a kid. I know my cousins were closer to them growing up because they got to see our grandparents more often, just because they all lived in the Midwest. obviously it was a lot harder for us, living in Alaska, because driving to visit wasn't realistic and it was always an extra flight just to get into the lower 48. they did visit us sometimes, but not as often, I don't think. we often managed some kind of just-for-fun vacation and a visit-extended-family vacation most years when I was growing up, and that was good, but it doesn't compare to how my cousins regularly spent holidays with the grandparents and things like that. and then there were a few years when I was an adult that I probably couldn't afford to go anywhere, but there was a lot more time when I was an adult that I could have visited them and just didn't, first because it sort of didn't occur to me that that was a thing I could do without it being organized by someone else, and then because Trump was president and I couldn't stand the thought of visiting them and having to listen to hateful nonsense on Fox News, and also I was genuinely worried that they were going to have a problem with me being queer. and by the time I found out that the queer thing, at least, was probably a nonissue, it was summer 2021 and there was too much covid for me to want to do any travel, and I did finally visit again in 2022 and every year since then but my grandma had already started losing some words by then and I guess I'll just always regret that I didn't go back earlier.
and that's another thing. my grandparents were/are very, very Christian. it's a hugely important part of their lives. my grandpa was a pastor on and off for...a very long time. my grandma always led singing at his churches. all the tributes to my grandma focus primarily on her faith in Christ. and I'm over here like...trying to reconcile the fact that my grandparents were/are very fucking conservative with my strong belief that they were/are also good people, because I am wildly not the same person I was 20 years ago and "Christian" no longer means "good person" to me because I've seen what self-professed Christians do when they get even a sliver of power.
and the queer thing was complicated, and I never talked about it with them and now I never will, and I'm 99% sure they both voted Republican for most of their lives, and they liked ghouls like James Dobson, and yet I'm sure they were good people just in general and I'm gutted that I'll never have opportunities for serious conversations with them about...anything, like I probably could have done if I'd only visited them more when I was an adult.
it's all very easy, too, believing in Heaven, because if you're a Christian, of course you go there, and everything is fine. but for a variety of reasons I really don't know what I believe anymore, about what happens when we die, so I don't know what to think. because it doesn't make sense to me that we can have these souls--beautiful, evil, mediocre, everything--and then they can just be gone like they never existed. that feels...deeply, deeply wrong. I have to think that the soul continues to exist somewhere beyond the physical. but where and how, I have no idea. it's a black box. I'm sort of inclined to think that all religious people of good will get the positive afterlife their religion taught them to expect. (I won't lie, I also want to believe there's a punishment after death for the truly evil people, because a lot of them just aren't going to be punished while they're alive.) and people of good will in general who aren't religious, I don't know. I hope it's a pleasant surprise.
so, I mean, I think my grandma is with her sisters again, all but the youngest, who will join them at some point. I think my grandpa will join her. I think she's at peace, her mind and body no longer ravaged by Alzheimer's. it's just not as simple of a belief as it would have been when I was a kid, because I guess I'm not confident enough that I'll see her again, and I already missed the person she used to be even before she actually died.
so they don't really know what's wrong with Hazy aside from a vague diagnosis of indigestion, but they gave her anti-nausea meds and subcutaneous fluids and had us buy some digestive support food that's basically the dog equivalent of rice and unseasoned chicken, and she spent the rest of the day very sad and droopy from the effects of the sedation. but she did eat some of the new food, and today she seems fairly normal again, so that's a huge relief. I guess we're still waiting to hear more about what they learned from blood work.
...oh and in other medical news, the tentative results of the liver biopsy are, it's probably Strattera, which is super cool because that's the only thing I specifically take for ADHD. I'm not even positive that it does much, but I'm still annoyed because it took a few other failed meds to get there at all and now I probably have to stop taking it, which will be a great way to find out that it was helping my concentration after all.
Hey so. My grandma died this morning after years of Alzheimerās, my dog is sick, and they say bad things come in threes. I donāt really want to find out what happens next
an illustration of how I only have the bad kind of magical thinking:
I know I got my first and so far only tattoo in 2018 because that's the year Scully died, and my tattoo was his paw print, and I don't actually remember how much time elapsed between me getting the tattoo and him dying but I do remember it was an upsettingly short time between me taking a picture with him and the healed tattoo, and him getting sick
so now it's 8 entire years later, I've had Hazy for nearly that whole time, I've also intended to get a tattoo of her paw print for the vast majority of that time, she had one health scare a year and a half ago (just realized I never talked about it on here; I guess I did briefly on Instagram) that made me even more anxious to get the tattoo sooner rather than later, and I am finally making progress toward getting it, like I'm talking to a tattoo artist about an appointment. but I also realized at some point that it's freaking me out because on some level my brain believes she's for sure going to die shortly after I get her tattoo. but also that she definitely will die soon regardless if I don't hurry up to make sure I get it while she's alive?? so there's absolutely no winning here. also no, there have been no actual definitive health scares since the one a year and a half ago, it's just that she's getting old (probably almost 12 at this point) and slowing down on walks and I know it's inevitable someday.
anyway that's the story of how my brain is being a shit about this
Haha well she threw up twice this morning and she has a decent amount of energy but she wonāt eat, and I canāt even be there because itās my in-office day, so obviously Iām catastropizing and convinced this is my fault one way or another
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an illustration of how I only have the bad kind of magical thinking:
I know I got my first and so far only tattoo in 2018 because that's the year Scully died, and my tattoo was his paw print, and I don't actually remember how much time elapsed between me getting the tattoo and him dying but I do remember it was an upsettingly short time between me taking a picture with him and the healed tattoo, and him getting sick
so now it's 8 entire years later, I've had Hazy for nearly that whole time, I've also intended to get a tattoo of her paw print for the vast majority of that time, she had one health scare a year and a half ago (just realized I never talked about it on here; I guess I did briefly on Instagram) that made me even more anxious to get the tattoo sooner rather than later, and I am finally making progress toward getting it, like I'm talking to a tattoo artist about an appointment. but I also realized at some point that it's freaking me out because on some level my brain believes she's for sure going to die shortly after I get her tattoo. but also that she definitely will die soon regardless if I don't hurry up to make sure I get it while she's alive?? so there's absolutely no winning here. also no, there have been no actual definitive health scares since the one a year and a half ago, it's just that she's getting old (probably almost 12 at this point) and slowing down on walks and I know it's inevitable someday.
anyway that's the story of how my brain is being a shit about this
Acherontia atropos (Death's Head Hawkmoth) and the grave of a friend only briefly known- I like to think The Creature would find a way to visit Elizabeth.
I even remembered to record most of it! Watch me fumble around with lighting and pretend I know what I'm doing.
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Loki (TV 2021), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Relationships: Loki/Sylvie (Loki TV)
Characters: Loki (Marvel), Sylvie (Loki TV)
Additional Tags: Hanahaki Disease, Post-Season/Series 02, Fix-It of Sorts, POV Loki (Marvel), Loki Needs a Hug (Marvel), Loki Needs a Break (Marvel), Loki Needs Help (Marvel), Blood and Injury, Canon-Atypical Swearing, courtesy of Sylvie as usual, Major Illness, Supernatural Illnesses, the āviolenceā rating is for blood there is no actual violence, Terminal Illnesses, Mentioned Other Marvel Characters
Word count: 4,368
Summary: There is no reliable way to mark the passage of time, out beyond the end of it in the branches of the multiverse, so Loki doesnāt know how long heās been here when he begins to be troubled by a persistent cough.
check out me actually posting a fic. please please read it
(if youāre worried about theĀ āterminal illnessesā tag, please note the lack ofĀ āmajor character deathā tag, and also remember that itās me)
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Loki (TV 2021), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Relationships: Loki/Sylvie (Loki TV)
Characters: Loki (Marvel), Sylvie (Loki TV)
Additional Tags: Hanahaki Disease, Post-Season/Series 02, Fix-It of Sorts, POV Loki (Marvel), Loki Needs a Hug (Marvel), Loki Needs a Break (Marvel), Loki Needs Help (Marvel), Blood and Injury, Canon-Atypical Swearing, courtesy of Sylvie as usual, Major Illness, Supernatural Illnesses, the 'violence' rating is for blood there is no actual violence, Terminal Illnesses, Mentioned Other Marvel Characters
Word count: 4,368
Summary: There is no reliable way to mark the passage of time, out beyond the end of it in the branches of the multiverse, so Loki doesnāt know how long heās been here when he begins to be troubled by a persistent cough.
check out me actually posting a fic. please please read it
(if youāre worried about theĀ āterminal illnessesā tag, please note the lack ofĀ āmajor character deathā tag, and also remember that itās me)
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
ā Live Streamingā Interactive Chatā Private Showsā HD Qualityā Free Actions
Free to watch ā¢ No registration required ā¢ HD streaming
because I don't have a better place to put them, here is my sort-of-ongoing collection of myself with Tom Hiddleston movie posters at various theaters. it is, sadly, very small. I can't remember if there was a Crimson Peak poster when I saw that or if I just didn't think to get a picture with it; ditto for Kong: Skull Island, although the main poster didn't have him on it anyway. I didn't think to check for a Life of Chuck poster. and I'm pretty sure I didn't see the first Thor film in theaters. can't remember about Avengers. yes, I'm annoyed at Past Me for all of those.
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Marvel, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Relationships: Loki/Steve Rogers
Characters: Loki (Marvel), Steve Rogers, Natasha Romanov (Marvel)
Additional Tags: Post-Movie: The Avengers (2012), frostshield - Freeform, Enemies to Lovers, Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Idiots in Love, Getting Together, kind of fluffy?, short and sweet
Series: Part 6 of one shots with love
Summary: Loki has been an Avenger on probation for six months. Thatās to say, heās currently serving a life sentence to make amends for New York. An average human's life sentence of one hundred and seven years. Steve really isnāt sure who did the math.
