no you dont understand, i’m obsessed with him
no you dont understand i’m obsessed with him
ngl, this song slaps way harder than it has any earthly right to

if i look back, i am lost
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"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
we're not kids anymore.
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@sirbobboiv
no you dont understand, i’m obsessed with him
no you dont understand i’m obsessed with him
ngl, this song slaps way harder than it has any earthly right to

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Daily Mirror, England, January 22, 1909 Image © The British Library Board. All Rights Reserved.
peak performance
Karl Marx
My brother has a nut allergy and decided to spread peanut butter on his dick to make it swell
…He calls it anaphylactic cock
guys what day of the week were you born on? i was born on a tuesday
wait u all know that nursery rhyme about like “monday’s child”
I really got stuck with fuckin Wednesday
i don’t think we acknowledge enough that when children want to be treated “like adults” what they really mean is “like people”
this is just my own observations of course but 90% of the time when a kid tries to get people to treat them like an adult, what they really want is the respect and acknowledgement that they associate with adulthood - because that’s what they must give the adults. they have to give that to the adults in their lives, but the adults never give that same respect back, and so they see that difference and decide that they want to be treated “like an adult”
and sometimes i see parents who are like fine you want to be treated like an adult then you can work and pay rent but that’s the exact OPPOSITE of what the kid is actually asking for. you’re just belittling them, clearly intending to punish them for daring ask for your respect, clearly intending for them to break down and beg to be “treated like a child” again because you purposefully twisted their wants. they ask for respect, and you give them abuse.
never, ever, ever, treat a child like a full grown adult. it’s our responsibility as adults NOT to, because they ARENT adults no matter how much they think they want to be, and it’s our job as adults to take care of them.
that said, ALWAYS treat children like people. because they ARE that. they’re real people with real agency acting as best as they know to with what knowledge they have
it’s not a matter of kids trying to grow up too fast, it’s a matter of kids wanting to be treated like people instead of objects or pets.

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every year around christmas me and my grandma play this fun family game called “maybe you want to put jesus in your room instead, sweetie? :)”. now, it’s important to note that the jesus referred to in our game is not actually the real jesus christ, but instead a wooden figure i made in 2011 that has an uncanny resemblance to the lord and savior himself
so what happens is that i place jesus in our living room, and my grandma smiles and asks me if i don’t want to decorate my room with him instead. i ask her in return if she thinks my jesus figure is ugly (which he is), but she reassures me that this is not the case. however, a couple of days later jesus mysteriously disappears from our living room, and appear in my room instead
now, the real jesus christ might have been able to perform a miracle like this, but please remember that the jesus in our story is only a figure made out of wood. he can not move on his own, so i think we can safely say that my grandma is the prime suspect here
the first year i would often confront my grandma about this, but she would always make up an excuse and never straight up tell me she moved him because he’s so ugly it’s an embarrassment to the family
eventually i grew tired of her lies, so now we only move jesus around in silence. one second he’s in the living room, the next he’s back in my room. in a way i think this adds an extra element of excitement to the holiday season, because you never know for sure when jesus is going to be moved again
and so it begins..
i was not fucking ready for this photograph
I’m NEVER ready for the fucking photograph, holy shit.
PLEASE look at what someone dm’d me on Twitter
“Attracted to them books” LMFAOOOO
@carrie-frances im screaming
Street Artist Transforms Ordinary Public Places Into Funny Installations
michael-pederson miguel-marquez
Writer: There Was Only One Bed…
Smut fans: *gasp!!!!!*
Writer: So They Spooned All Night And The Brooding One Allowed Themselves To Feel Vulnerable For The First Time In Years And The Chirpy One Got Some Quality Snuggles
Fluff fans: *GASP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*
Alternatively:
There was only one bed and so they lay there together, only inches apart physically but it may as well have been miles for neither could muster the courage to tell the other the true depth of their feelings and so they lay there sleepless in their mutual pining
Angst fans:
There was only one bed. A carried B to it and gently eased them down. They were both badly injured but B’s conditions were much worse and A wouldn’t rest until they knew B was going to be alright. So A sat down next to B and brushed their hair back, holding their hand as B shivered through the night, their only comfort A’s presence by their side.
Hurt/Comfort fans:
Dear god you’re right, you’re so right
I feel like this needs to be a writing challenge… How many different ways can you write this one trope.
There was only one bed, but instead of making a big fuss, the tired pair went the fuck to sleep and got a full 8 hours.
My sleep deprived ass:
OH YEAH THAT’S THE GOOD STUFF
There was only one bed. This is normal. They’ve been married for a decade and have a small child. The child has climbed in bed to snuggle with them because thunder is scary. They have their baby curled between them and they share soft, warm smiles over his sleepy head as he snores little kid snores.
Me, who just wants domestic curtains found family fic:
I AM ALL OF THIS I WILL LITERALLY READ ANYTHING
There was only one bed, the two characters argued and bickered begging for them not to have to share it, but they somehow are here still. They agree that there both going to pick a side and stay on it. This was going fine until in the middle of the night A woke up screaming and crying, B gets them to calm down and they end up falling asleep next to each other feeling safe
Enemies to lovers fans
There was only one bed. A noticed B’s exhaustion and lifted them easily. “You don’t have to carry me like a child,” B noted, despite being clearly pleased by how matters were progressing. “I think we both know that’s not true,” A replied with a grin. The bed was warm, inviting, and yet something was missing. “Is this a private party, or can just anyone join,” C called from the doorway, clad only in their underwear and a smile. “Only if it’s you!” A and B replied in unison as they drew the covers back.
My OT3-loving ass:
There was only one bed.
It turned out to be a defective Murphy bed and it trapped them in the wall.
Crack fic fans:
This entire thread is delightful
That last addition is so important to an underrepresented group 🥲
(Also I laughed my butt off)

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I found it funny that a dude living in a cave for 20 years decided to vaccinate as soon as he heard about the virus for the first time
my erectile dysfunction is so bad today dude i hate having adhd
EXECUTIVE DYSFUNCTION
I don't think helping blind people is what prevents the dismantling of nuclear weapons
You ever think about how unified humanity is by just everyday experiences? Tudor peasants had hangnails, nobles in the Qin dynasty had favorite foods, workers in the 1700s liked seeing flowers growing in pavement cracks, a cook in medieval Iran teared up cutting onions, a mom in 1300 told her son not to get grass stains on his clothes, some girl in the past loved staying up late to see the sun rise.
there are scriptures all over the world painstakingly crafted hundreds of years ago with paw prints and spelling mistakes or drawings covering up mistakes. a bunch of teenage girls 2000 years ago gathered to walk around their hometown, getting fast food and laughing with their friends. two friends shared blankets before people lived in houses. a mother ran a fine comb through her child’s hair and told it to stop squirming sometime in the 1000s. there are covered up sewing mistakes in couture dresses from the 1800s, some poor roman burnt their food so well past recognition that they just buried the entire pot. there are broken dishes hidden in gardens of people no one even remembers anymore

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Ths bishop’s twitter post
I experienced a few embarrassing seconds of confusion because in my language (French) the bishop is called the fool
According to my brother, the camera operators are told in advance when they're going to be cut to or at least given a heads-up, so this guy assumed he was safe to use his camera basically as a pair of binoculars bc he wasn't supposed to get the focus. But the person who was switching between camera feeds accidentally cut to his camera by mistake instead of the one that was supposed to be filming, so they ended up televising what was supposed to me one man's private cockroach observation moment.