look behind me it's you

ahaha you sly dog! you bastard! [getting a little too comfortable] you wretched fucking animal

sorry i said gay when you and your buddy had a massive falling out and tried to kill each other. it just kinda looked like that.

anything can be about your ocs if you believe

There’s a cool trick you can do where you pour a shot and then add an expired antidepressant to it and it gets you super fucked up so you can save money when you go out for the night. In other news I just discovered that if you ask any man at a goth rave if you can bite him he will say yes. He thinks he’s getting laid but you can just bite him super hard and walk away. Life is full of beautiful moments

man half of my mutuals are named some shit like Snooble at this point im doing some poob as bullshit in my life

one time I went over to a friend's house and their housemate was making paper in the living room, and we saw this big tub full of water they were using to dissolve old scrap paper into a slurry, and everyone was immediately like "oh, you need scrap paper?" and started turning out their jacket pockets and producing expired coupons and bus tickets and crumpled receipts and old shopping lists and whatever else they'd been carrying round with them for no good reason, and passing it all to the paper-making housemate to make sure it was suitable before it got torn up and dropped into the tub, while people took turns stirring the slurry with a big wooden stick. it was strangely ritualistic, like presenting an offering to some kind of temple elder for inspection before placing it in a watery shrine to be devoured and reformed. pulp for the pulp god.

Guys… we have to do the main quest at some point

when i die i hope i come back as a beautiful microscopic granule of sand

#these are mostly Foraminifera and I once spent a month sorting through thousands of these on a microscope slide#I did resent them terribly for a while but I respect them too much for any of it to stick#they were 40 million years old#their shells hold chemical memories of the water temperature and salinity#so we can use them to reconstruct past sea levels#we can read the shapes of dead continents through the bodies of these creatures#we can track cycles of earth’s orbital precession in space#so I guess even if you don’t get to come back as a beautiful microscopic grain of sand something will (@catadromously )

[record scratch] [freeze frame]: yeah that's me. that's me in the corner. that's me in the spotlight, losing my religion.