That's my secret, Cap: I'm always tired.

*puts you in the bitcrusher*

My boyfriend prefers his mattresses firm, and I need a soft mattress. He prefers his food temperate while I like my food hot and spicy. This is another good reason to not have a kid, because even if the kid averages out and prefers everything in the middle, there's the risk of some blonde bitch breaking into our house to rummage through our stuff.

automated text reply that just says YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY PERSON I AM LETTING DOWN

im slightly bored. does anyone want to go fight to the death with our bare hands

<muttering to self and grasping at hair with the holy fervor of a frankenstein at his research> We have gotta get more bisexual about this

I'm hoping this anti-porn movement gets rolled back, but if we have to settle in for the long haul, Tumblr is actually very well-situated for it, not just because we had our porn apocalypse ages ago but because this site is full of people who are horny but don't actually have sex, and fully sublimate their sexuality into unrecognizable abstractions and symbolism

Women are like cats, it's okay if they've been biting you for the past hour because they're cute

normalized data implies the existence of problematized data

that's his brother Lore actually

this website’s easy watch. *dangles a bunch of greek gods like keys*

Keep in mind I only know like. Two Greek gods by name. Homer is one of them, and he was good friends with Odysseus I think?

Wait fuck Homer isn’t a god he wrote the fucking thing. Fuck

POST CANCELLED NO ONE LOOK

You're failing.

You don’t think I know that, God of Death? Can I pray to you so I can DIE ALREADY

Short version is that Pluto is a later name for the god of death, which is often associated with the Roman era/Roman mythology. Hades is the earlier name.

I set up my own house made of sticks and it has promptly fallen on me

I made this post thinking I knew what kind of fire I was playing with. Hephaestus, God of Fire, looking upon me from his fuck off tower or whatever said “Oh you think you know? Check this shit” and promptly set my post ablaze for everyone to observe

Hephaestus doesn't have a tower, he lived in a volcano

FINE THEN. BIG FUCK OFF VOLCANO. WHATEVER

FUCK'S SAKE NOT AGAIN

ares is the god of war, not kratos

WHY THE FUCK DOES THE GAME CALL HIM GOD OF WAR THEN

I can't believe this post is less than 24 hours old, it feels like something out of classic tumblr lore

op god of war is not official greek mythology lmao

Someone needs to read a Percy Jackson book

hey is this still post of the year or

NO

how's the hole op? want some snacks? a blanket? a shovel to dig yourself out?

I'D LIKE OUT NOW I THINK

I remember this post dropping, what a great day. OP I hope you know this was the highlight of my week when it dropped, it was so good.

saw someone including "Mandate of Heaven" as one of those christian terms tumblr likes to use to sound profound. which i get where you're coming from but t☝️hat one is chinese

the idea that predators and abusers are an ontological category of person, rather than everyone having the capacity to be predatory and abusive, leads to people having no regard for boundaries because they think that predation only comes from evil people ™