That's my secret, Cap: I'm always tired.

<muttering to self and grasping at hair with the holy fervor of a frankenstein at his research> We have gotta get more bisexual about this

I'm hoping this anti-porn movement gets rolled back, but if we have to settle in for the long haul, Tumblr is actually very well-situated for it, not just because we had our porn apocalypse ages ago but because this site is full of people who are horny but don't actually have sex, and fully sublimate their sexuality into unrecognizable abstractions and symbolism

Women are like cats, it's okay if they've been biting you for the past hour because they're cute

normalized data implies the existence of problematized data

that's his brother Lore actually

this website’s easy watch. *dangles a bunch of greek gods like keys*

Keep in mind I only know like. Two Greek gods by name. Homer is one of them, and he was good friends with Odysseus I think?

Wait fuck Homer isn’t a god he wrote the fucking thing. Fuck

POST CANCELLED NO ONE LOOK

You're failing.

You don’t think I know that, God of Death? Can I pray to you so I can DIE ALREADY

Short version is that Pluto is a later name for the god of death, which is often associated with the Roman era/Roman mythology. Hades is the earlier name.

I set up my own house made of sticks and it has promptly fallen on me

I made this post thinking I knew what kind of fire I was playing with. Hephaestus, God of Fire, looking upon me from his fuck off tower or whatever said “Oh you think you know? Check this shit” and promptly set my post ablaze for everyone to observe

Hephaestus doesn't have a tower, he lived in a volcano

FINE THEN. BIG FUCK OFF VOLCANO. WHATEVER

FUCK'S SAKE NOT AGAIN

ares is the god of war, not kratos

WHY THE FUCK DOES THE GAME CALL HIM GOD OF WAR THEN

I can't believe this post is less than 24 hours old, it feels like something out of classic tumblr lore

op god of war is not official greek mythology lmao

Someone needs to read a Percy Jackson book

hey is this still post of the year or

NO

how's the hole op? want some snacks? a blanket? a shovel to dig yourself out?

I'D LIKE OUT NOW I THINK

I remember this post dropping, what a great day. OP I hope you know this was the highlight of my week when it dropped, it was so good.

saw someone including "Mandate of Heaven" as one of those christian terms tumblr likes to use to sound profound. which i get where you're coming from but t☝️hat one is chinese

the idea that predators and abusers are an ontological category of person, rather than everyone having the capacity to be predatory and abusive, leads to people having no regard for boundaries because they think that predation only comes from evil people ™

genuinely I cannot fathom trying to use Tumblr like any other social media. I just thought to myself “why does Tumblr even have a ‘Best Posts First’ feature? why would I want to see good posts?” and then I had to stop and consider that for a second

my mom told me this story tonight about my grandfather. she said when he was a little boy he was afraid robbers would break into his house in the middle of the night and try to abduct him out of his bed. he thought that they would be able to feel that he was the shape of a little boy under the covers and know to grab him. so he would try to fall asleep in the shape of a letter of the alphabet. so that they would feel for him and be like "oh it's just the letter R, not a kidnappable child"

"you don't know what you have until you lose it" works for things that suck too btw. sometimes you need to experience life without something for a while to realise oh damn that was some bullshit

You don't like my domestic au? But I lobotomized the characters just for you :( isn't it so nice now that everyone's happy? They all talk and forgive each other 😊 they're getting married, you know. They're pregnant, you know. Time skip soon! Two beautiful kids. After they have them they will put aside all their passions. Maybe they will never go back to the coffee shop 🤭or university 😜. Maybe they will stay at home with their children. I made this world just for you. Isn't it domestic? Isn't it perfect? Look at how everyone smiles! I am smiling :) are you?