Algún día, Brillaremos Juntas.

Who can say it would be unjustified, if the grief and rage of indigenous people, stolen from and exploited and denied justice, finally broke like a wave upon the world.

Georgia O’Keeffe

Black Door with Snow, 1953-1955

OR

Bolaire spends most of the Schemers arc and Convergence without any fear. He’s not actually brave because he’s not afraid of anything until Termina attempts to kill him rather than his host. Until that moment, Bolaire had no reason to fear death, and he thought that the worst that could happen to him would be losing his job and his facade of a normal elf. Once he’s faced with the possibility of death, he flees with every trick he has, including killing his own host by jumping from a balcony. Bolaire isn’t brave, and he’s never needed to be. During the convergence, much of the group responds to Bolaire with confusion not just because he’s a mask, but because it’s such a strange thing to realize he is afraid for the first time. Until that point, they likely interpreted him as a brave living weapon (or at least full of bravado), and that facade has broken.

Contrast that to Azune, who is brave, and everyone expects him to be brave because they rely on it, and he feels as though he is going to fall apart because of it. He is terrified. He is afraid that he will lose Murray’s friendship because of the roles he’s playing so that he can sabotage the Sundered Houses. He is afraid of failing and dying before he can fix it. He is afraid of never seeing his sister again now that he knows she’s alive, and he’s possibly afraid of finding her too. But he rebounds after pep talks, most of which insist that he has to keep this going. Azune and everyone else around him will not accept or permit him to be a coward. It’s possible he will manage this throughout the story, but it would also be juicy to see which straw might be the last.

And the juxtaposition with Demodus Blix is fascinating because of that. Demodus isn’t expected to be brave because he’s too young—but about a decade older than when Azune joined a mercenary company and fought in the Falconer’s rebellion—and a student—a privilege most people don’t get because the Penteveral is one of the first wizard universities. There is an expectation that people who are taking on risk already must continue to do so because that means everyone else gets to be safe: their cowardice is acceptable. It’s even expected. Demodus surprises Murray and some of the audience when he insists on testifying to the Einfasen because he is risking his life after a rescue rather than waiting for a way out.

And that’s a bit of a mirror to Hal. Hal was a soldier and then became a playwright and theater owner. There’s an unspoken sense of “I did my time” with respect to his status as a war veteran. We cannot address Hal’s preference to stay with his family and his career without comparing him to Thaisha. They each have callings, and both callings have value and better the world. However, Thaisha offers no deference or obedience to nobility, while Hal began the campaign willing to be subservient to whoever was in charge as long as he got the status and career that he wanted. He was a coward. It took seeing multiple other people choose to be brave, even in the face of death, before Hal truly appreciated the impact his decisions would have on the world around him. Like Demodus, it’s not fair that their creativity and love for their craft are used as tools by the powerful, and they are right to be fearful about what would happen to them if they rebel. But that’s not how the world works. When faced with that unfairness, they chose to be brave.

Murray more directly wrestles with the idea of who is expected to be brave and who is expected to be a coward, and that bucking those expectations is also cause for fear. She openly treats Demodus and Azune differently when faced with their fears, with clear statements of what each of them should do, and she shows fear when each of them act contrary to her expectations. This is especially interesting when Murray expresses her anger at Thjazi for involving her and other PCs in his schemes despite that they were bystanders unaware of those plans. She was a smuggler; of course she’s adjacent to a lot of terrible things. You can’t buy humanoid skulls from a shady guy and conclude that everything’s fine. But Murray didn’t have to know the stakes before, and it’s terrifying to know the full scope of consequences unfolding from her and others’ choices. Murray is in the position of the audience: we’re learning just how precarious each circumstance actually is, and we could have remained in comfortable ignorance if not for Thjazi dying. After observing all that, Murray chooses to stand with Demodus and Azune, still terrified the whole way, but nevertheless finding her own capacity for bravery.

Brennan also rewarded each instance of bravery. Azune’s rolls to persuade Einfasen got bonuses for his and Murray’s choices, and Einfasen’s trust in Azune allows him to manipulate the entire house. Murray gained a profound amount of respect and credibility with Einfasen despite her status as a commoner, and that may help her with the Penteveral in the next arc. Hal’s entire troupe and members of community agreed to support him each time he decided to become more involved at risk to himself and his career.

Meanwhile, Bolaire lost his host, his job, and his status, and he has no idea what to do because he’s never actually needed to be brave before—so his little doodles of himself and Figment celebrated that they’re not alone because he’s there. The C4 message to the fearful isn’t “be brave or die,” but “you’re not alone.”

Critical Role - Vaelus

Sometimes these pieces take a month. Sometimes, they leap out of my brain and get drawn into Photoshop in three days. The latter is rare, but here we are.

Her flowers are white orchids, which mean faith.