I am super excited to have had the opportunity to interview Sarah Garton from the School of Balance. Sarah is an amazing health and wellness coach who truly values that each person is different and therefore the needs of each individual will most certainly vary.  Add to this Sarah has lived the “Superwoman” life, working non-stop all the while trying to maintain some sort of personal life.  We all know this is never possible...well, not if you are seeking balance!

During this interview Sarah will shed light on how living like a “superwoman” finally got to an exhausting point. She was forced to take personal inventory of her life and start making better decisions to truly live like a woman in charge!  We may think taking part in the crazy of life deems us the ultimate superwoman, but in reality, a true superwoman is someone who manages balance and embraces joy, health, and happiness...it is possible.  If you have any questions please don’t hesitate to reach out to either Sarah or myself. Sarah can be reached at Sarah [email protected] go check her website out here: The School of Balance

I can be reached at [email protected]! xo

Click here to get the full interview: 

http://goo.gl/qJIOvK

xo,

Hey YOU!  Today on the blog we are talking all about getting comfy with being uncomfortable. I am thrilled to have Caitlin Higgins from the Best Of You Coaching group. This is a group of entrepreneurs that I am coaching along with Jill Coleman of Jillfit Physiques. I absolutely love watching all the girls, like Cait come out of their comfort zone and take risks in order to live the life of their dreams! Enjoy :)

Getting outside of your comfort zone is easier said than done. There’s a reason why “comfort zone” begins with “comfort”. It’s the place where we feel most at home, and is associated with warm cozy beds, fluffy puppies, and close friends. 

Discomfort on the other hand, pardon my language, sucks. I associate discomfort with getting my teeth drilled while the nice hygienist asks about my family, and squeezing lemon juice into a paper cut. 

So, of course we’re going to avoid discomfort at all costs! Discomfort can be associated with pain, harm, and is the last thing that will evoke a sense of enjoyment. 

But what about discomfort in the sense of doing something that will help us grow and evolve into stronger more confident people? Now that’s another ballgame!

                                     My Dance With Discomfort 

The Discomfort Snowball Effect

Until threeish years ago I was a painfully shy person. I preferred to keep to myself, hated trying new things, and definitely would not write about it. 

My first real, holy crap, what am I doing, there’s no way I’m going to succeed moment came when a friend of mine convinced me to tryout for the Minnesota Vikings Cheerleaders. 

She started nagging me to tryout with her a few years previously, but I always said no. I felt like I didn’t belong, thought my dancing wasn’t good enough, I wasn’t pretty enough, etc. Finally, fourth time's the charm, and I tried out. I’m forever grateful for her persistence! 

Auditioning for the team was a life changing experience! Without this initial step I might not be writing this right now. This experience forced me in many uncomfortable (in a good way) situations. My confidence grew, and I began to believe that I can do anything I put my mind to. 

That year at auditions I was asked to the Vikings Cheerleaders Training Program which was a huge honor for me – my goal was to simply make it through the first round of cuts. From there I found myself trying out again the following year, and was asked back to the Training Program. 

Growing up I had always wanted to model and compete in the Miss USA Pageant. I’d watch runway shows and pageants on TV and secretly wish that I could be one of the girls on the screen. 

Being a member of the Training Program put me in contact with people who encouraged and helped me pursue my dreams. I eventually ended up modeling and competing for Miss Minnesota USA and made the top 15! 

The practice of getting comfortable with discomfort helped me feel confident enough to move out of Minnesota with my boyfriend, start my own business (another dream of mine), and live in Thailand. 

If I had stayed in my comfort zone - go to work, come home, see friends and family, repeat - and not pursued my dreams out of fear and discomfort, who knows what I’d be doing right now…Probably would be sitting at the same desk, in the same department of my cushy government job. 

                                     3 Steps To Get Uncomfortable 

Getting comfortable with discomfort isn’t easy. It takes practice. So here are three steps to help you get comfortable with discomfort: 1. Redefine discomfort. 2. Put discomfort in perspective. 3. Analyze the pros and cons of getting uncomfortable. 

                                       1. Redefine Discomfort

In order to start getting uncomfortable we need to define what discomfort is. Yes, there’s still the type of discomfort that alerts you that something is wrong, but in order to get comfortable with the type of discomfort that will help us, we need to disassociate the two from each other. 

To do this, start thinking about why a new situation makes you uncomfortable. Do you get nervous when meeting new people? Does trying new things make you apprehensive? Does a disruption in your routine give you a bit of anxiety?

In many cases the initial sense of worry or anxiety will be replaced by a sense of excitement. Especially if this new event is something you have always dreamt about, but never had the guts to try. You’ll soon realize that feeling this form of discomfort can only help you, and will embrace the feeling. 

                                        2. Put Discomfort In Perspective 

Now think about the possible outcomes of trying something new. Will you get hurt? Is there a possibility of embarrassment? Will you live to see another day? Depending on what you’re doing, in most cases the worst case scenario is that you might leave feeling a bit embarassed.  

                                          3. Pros and Cons 

Next think about what you will lose by trying something new. Maybe you’re use to going home after work, eating dinner, and watching TV until bedtime. Tonight however, you decided to tryout a Pilates class. Hopefully you leave the class feeling like you found a new hobby! If not, you missed out on one night at home. What you would have done that night is probably something you won’t remember in the long run, but going to your first Pilates class can end up being an extremely memorable and rewarding experience! Definitely one worth interrupting your routine for. 

You never know what getting uncomfortable can do for you until you try! For me, I pursued goals that I never thought I would pursue. I made lifelong friends, learned many lessons, and finally realized that if I simply try, I can have everything I want in life. 

I’d say that the feelings of slight anxiety, worry, self-doubt, and “What the heck am I doing?? This isn’t me!” were completely worth the discomfort. There’s not one experience I would trade the world for! 

I sometimes need to see everything written out on paper in black and white. If you’re like me, try filling out this pros and cons worksheet. Simply write the event in question in the left hand column, pros in the middle column, and cons in the right hand column. This can help you decide if taking a new risk is worth your time. 

Click To Print 

                                                 Conclusion You never know what getting uncomfortable can do for you until you try! You may experience things you never thought you would experience, make amazing new friends, find a new hobby, lose those 10 pounds you’ve been dying to lose, or simply leave with the knowledge that you tried something new.

Be proud of yourself when you get uncomfortable! One new experience can lead to many more. You’re one step closer to being everything you want to be!

Awesome stuff Caitlin....Thank you so much for being on the blog and sharing your motivational experience to lean into the discomfort to get to a place of comfort...I believe the bonus is simply how much you learn about yourself along the way! 

Photo Credits: Road & Dance - fitGevity, The Discomfort Zone 

Hey Everyone! Today on the blog let’s talk about dreams...you know when you were little and sitting in your classroom, bored out of your mind! Where did you go? What did you dream about? Now as an adult, did those dreams come true? Has your life become more than you ever dreamt of? Think about it...

When I was a little girl I dreamt of marrying THE ONE! He was tall, dark hair, and of course quite handsome. I had the vision of me walking down the church aisle in my beautiful wedding dress and meeting MY ONE to start our happy ever after together. I would go on to think about our home, our children (including fur-babies) and all the adventures we would have as a family. We would go to church together and have family Sunday dinners. We would vacation in cool adventurous places. We would live happily ever after. 

Funny thing…our visions of what our life should be doesn’t necessarily match what it ends up being. We can dream all day long about what we want but in the end there may actually be something even more spectacular. 

My dreams as a child were childish and ignorant, just as they should have been. I was young and naïve and I was simply dreaming. My dreams didn’t take into account what I would really need to live happily ever after. I was looking at the superficial things; beautiful dress, dreaming of the perfect proposal, just things. WOW, has my perspective changed over time. I could have never dreamt of the life I have been given…EVER! 

I am happy to say I did marry MY ONE! But the ONE I was thinking of was 6’5, my ONE is 5’10. The ONE I dreamt of was a good husband…MY ONE is my very best friend ~ he is truly the witness to my entire life; he is a phenomenal husband. The ONE in my dreams loved his children and they loved him. MY ONE has redefined a father’s love…the example my boys have of a man, a good human being, and a father ~ again, I couldn’t dream this up. I do have to say, he is dark hair and very handsome – that is for sure!! 

We all have this perception of how we want our life to go. I know many people who control every aspect of their life to make sure it happens just so. But, is it worth it? Is it really worth being a control freak about all of this? I would strongly say no. Sometimes life presents us with small or HUGE gifts, but if we are too busy with only looking for what we want in people or in situations, we may actually miss the gem that life is offering you. 

I wanted my husband to love his faith – be active in his “Catholic” church community. That was part of the dream. Funny thing is I married a Jewish man! If I allowed that very important detail deter me – if I allowed myself to control that whole situation – I would most definitely missed the opportunity to marry my ONE! I will tell you, that was a struggle, but the more I got to know him, the more my perspective changed. 

Why do I share all of this with you and how does this relate to anything in your life? 

I share this because after 21-years of marriage my perspective on my life has changed over and over. I have been forced to look at things with a bigger heart and a wider lens. We can dream all we want, but we also have to be open to the possibility that we are being steered in a different direction. We have to be able to imagine the endless possibilities that are right in front of us. The more we try to control the outcomes the more we will miss the ultimate dream. 

We have to change our perspective. Instead of stomping our feet and having an ‘adult fit’ that things are not going our way, we have to allow ourselves to look at the whole picture. Here are a few things to think about: 1) Are you trying to control too much? 2) How are you working toward your dreams? What are you putting into it? Where can you give more? 

3) Is the answer to your dreams right in front of you and you are simply overwhelmed with fear and so running or pushing it away seems like the easier thing to do? 

Dreaming is great…but what if life has more to give you? What if there is a dream life designed for you that you wouldn’t even dare to dream about? I will tell you, it is possible. I am not saying perfect, Lord knows there is no such thing as perfect…but I am saying what if? It is possible…I am living proof. I gratefully will tell you, once I allowed myself to accept what life was offering me, my life became more than I ever imagined! 

This is such a special day. Whether you are a Mom or are celebrating your Mom ~ it is a day of reflection and appreciation for the woman who helped make you who you are. 

I have to say that there are times in my life when I think “How did I get so lucky?” My Mother is truly amazing…maybe saint worthy at this point. In all my 44-years of life she has been the most consistent person I know. Her faith never wavering even in the most trying of times. Her love never ending, even when most of us where pushing her buttons. Her undying commitment to our family was felt by all 7 of her children and most certainly my Dad. She is truly the rock of our family and always has been. 

I have seen my Mother endure so many struggles that most women would crumble under. Financial woes – 7 mouths to feed is no joke! Mommy woes – raising all of those children while your husband spent 85% of his life working and out of the house. The loss of her 4-year old son to an unexpected illness. As a young girl I felt sad for her, but when I become a Mother my heart broke for her. I often wondered how she could have endured that and still kept a smile on her face and happiness in our home…simple amazing. I could go on and on about her bouts with cancer and her endless bouts of us kids being morons! Kids will be kids! But in it all, my mother stayed steadfast in her love of us and her faith in God. 

The lessons she taught me are never ending, even until this very day. There are a few that I feel truly helped make me who I am today. I am forever grateful for these lessons and I too have tried to pass these onto my boys as well. Here are the 3-’gifts’ my mom gave to me and I want to give to you.

1) Give back the gifts that the Lord has given you. My mother always taught me that God hand picked specific gifts that He wants me to share with the world. She would go on to explain that we cannot truly live happy and fulfilled unless we were sharing these gifts with the world. If you can sing – let your voice be heard. If you are good with numbers help someone who struggles with them. If you are a good listener – lend an ear to someone in need. If you have been hurt always use the gift of forgiveness…no one is perfect. And, if you are not sure what your gifts and talents are quiet your mind and listen to your soul, it is there that the Lord holds your most valuable information… 

2) Always listen to your gut…i.e The Holy Spirit! Whenever I made a stupid decision, and there were many, my Mother would always say; “You know that voice in your head that said – ‘Don’t do it!’ – that was the Holy Spirit trying to steer you in the right direction…ALWAYS listen to that voice, some say it’s your gut, but it is actually the Holy Spirit.” She always taught me that in every situation I have a choice – “To be happy or to be miserable.” I learned that the more I listened to my gut, the happier I was. It was when I ignored that voice – The Holy Spirit – the unhappier I would be. So, always listen to your gut – it is your deeper calling to do what is best for you! 

3) Without faith you are up the creek without a paddle! My mother always had these little sayings…I never actually knew fully what some of them meant. In fact, she never cursed but whenever she did get angry she would say “Your mother wears purple combat boots!” I mean – what does this mean…LOL!!! That’s my mom! But, as I got older and started facing my own life challenges some of these sayings started to make a ton of sense (Not the purple boots one – need to circle back with her on that!) I will say to date, my faith has been by far the greatest gift my Mother (and my Dad) have given me. Honestly, I don’t know how I would have dealt with some of the most trying struggles of my life. My faith is so strong that there is not too much in this world that can make me waver. Trust me, there has been plenty of practice – that is for sure. After becoming a mother myself, I realized that my faith is one of my greatest gifts my parents gave me. The example of living a faith filled life by my Mother is the only thing I can think of that exceeds the gift itself. Again, she is truly saint worthy! 

I am so honored to be Joyce Cassidy’s daughter. I truly don’t know why God made me so lucky. She is the woman that other women flock to. She is positive and upbeat. When you are around her, your world is brighter and happier. People often wonder if she is ever cranky or miserable…she is human and she most definitely has her moments, but they are far and few between. She is a blessing and I am so abundantly blessed to call her my Mother and my dearest friend. I look forward to celebrating her ~ she is so deserving. 

I wish you a very special day. Whether you are with your Mother or not, take some time to think about the lessons your Mom passed on to you. You may be surprised just how much she has helped you become the beautiful woman you are today. Share your gifts, always listen to your gut, and have a faith that allows you to believe ANYTHING is possible. 

The Happiest of Mother’s Days!  xo, Maryalice 

Hey Everyone! This week on the blog I want to talk about routines. We all have some and for many they are the habits we create to help maintain energy for the brain. I often reference how we get into our car, place the keys in the car, start it, place it in drive and pull away. When is the last time you thought about that process? We don’t, we just do it. The brain has created such a routine around this that we don’t need to think about it, we just go! Routines are awesome for conserving energy, this is why we have them.  But what happens when we create an all-or-nothing mindset around our routines? Meaning, they have to be done a certain way at a certain time; doesn’t this perfectionist type thinking derail what our routines are trying to achieve? I believe this is why many people fail at creating new habits, they have this all-or-nothing mindset that prevents them from having any flexibility in their approach. When we are too rigid with change we will set ourselves up for failure.

  Years ago I was going through some health issues. I was working with a nutritionist and desperately trying to figure out why I was so fatigued and gaining weight. I have spoken about this in the past and have candidly expressed how frustrating of a time this was for me. (Read more here: http://bit.ly/1KXXBgC) One of the things my holistic nutritionist recommended was breathing. Just a few minutes throughout the day incorporate a practice of conscious breathing. As I started to do this I began to notice this incredible awareness of my thoughts. The more I settled my mind the more I was able to listen to the needs of my soul. It was actually pretty cool. Slowly but surely this became a morning ritual. I would wake extra early to breathe – it was so strange at first; totally not me…LOL! But the more I did it the more I loved it. I expanded my breathing practice into a morning ritual of breathing for a few minutes, while staying completely still, prayer, and journaling. It was amazing all I learned about my needs, priorities, and how I wanted my day to go. It helped me to center my day and my soul. My gratitude toward life grew and my ability to see all sides of things became crystal clear.

  So why would I ever stop doing this? Why do any of us stop doing the things that work for us…obligation shift!

  In 2011 my business saw great growth and with that came lots of change. I started training much earlier each morning and so my routine was no longer mine. The time I would normally sit in silence now became a training session. After training I would get into the rest of my day as mom, wife, and so on…As much as I wanted to take this time I thought I couldn’t because there was a certain way – ‘the routine’. I was hung up on this all-or-nothing mindset – it had to be a certain way in order for it to work. But did it? Was not doing it at all (because I was not able to do it the way I was used to) better than doing a different way; was there really only one way?

  I think this is where many of us get tripped up. We create these routines and unless we are doing them exactly as we have designed we stop doing them. This is one of the reasons why diets or meal plans don’t work. We feel obligated to stay on plan and once we go off plan we feel like we can’t get back on, it MUST be done to perfection. But, what if there is more than one way of doing things, what if your current way isn’t the best way?

  As our life changes, and it most certainly will, we have to be able to adapt to that change. I call this resiliency. Being able to recover or rebound when change comes your way is not necessarily easy, but those that find their way tend to be most successful when it comes to change. What worked for me was realizing that I could sit in silence whenever I wanted, it didn’t have to be first thing in the morning. I could find a new time. Maybe nighttime worked one day and mid-afternoon worked on another day. You see, when I put more focus on the outcome and less on how I made it happen it made perfect sense that it didn’t matter when I did it, it just mattered that I did it.

  So, how do we focus on the outcome and not the routine? Aren’t we told that routines breed success? Yes, routines and healthy habits are an excellent way to ensure your success. They say getting up at the same time each day will help you create a daily regiment, keep you organized, and help your body create healthy sleep routines. But we also need to have structured flexibility. We need to be able to experience the desired outcome without the pressure of it having to be done in only one way. We can be flexible in how we achieve it.

  This holds true across the board when it comes to our health. If you are bound to the fact that you must workout in the morning for optimal health what happens when you are unable to make that happen? If you feel as though the only way to be healthy is to eat from home, what happens when you are out and about? The bottom line is life will show up however it wants and if you are unable to be flexible you will fall into the all-or-nothing trap.

  Here are some ways to allow yourself to get the desired outcome without the pressure of it having to be one certain way:

1)   Be honest with yourself. If you are trying to fit all these things in and feeling overwhelmed something has to give. Look at block timing. Plan your day and be sure to block time for you – quiet time.

2)   Don’t stay tied down to only one way. Maybe one day you can only meditate for a few minutes but another day you can take a whole hour. There is no one right way; there is only the way that will work best for you.

3)   Don’t say YES when you really mean NO. Be very careful you are not over committing to things that will only add stress and take you away from nurturing yourself. This is something we are really good at. We find no harm in putting ourselves last on the list – in actuality this can be extremely harmful.

4)   Routines should add energy to your life not deplete. Be sure that what you are doing your actually enjoying. At first breathing to me was strange, but I quickly learned to enjoy this time. It calmed me and reduced stress. Our routines need to be sustainable and if you don’t enjoy them they won’t be – this alone will only add stress – this is not the goal!

If you are having a hard time creating and sticking to a new routine it may have to do with this need to be perfect. Work on achieving the desired outcome without the all-or-nothing mindset.  Try and be flexible in your approach if one time of the day works better than another, it is ok to change things up. Being honest with yourself and your daily schedule is critical. When things don’t feel sustainable and overwhelm sets in, there is no way the desired outcome will be achievable. This is why many people fail on diets and workout regiments. There is no one perfect way – there is only your way, the way that will add energy and reduce stress in your life from the InsideOut!

In Health & Fitness,

Hey Everyone! I hope you are well and enjoying the New Year! First blog of 2015 ~ can you guess what we will discuss? Resolutions of course, isn’t that what everyone is talking about these days? There is change in the air for sure. People all over have declared how in 2015 they will become a new person. They have committed to change and I am sure they desperately want it. So what gives, why do so many people proclaim their resolutions but can’t seem to pull them off? Of course there will be no one right answer, as we are all so different. I decided to ask my InsideOut Wellness (IOW)Tribe – my go to peeps for great feedback and real answers about real life. Are you not a member of the IOW Tribe? Click here to join, it’s FREE >>>>>InsideOut Wellness Tribe

I can’t say the responses surprised me, but I will say I was amazed as to how many of us have the same one. Change is never easy, even exciting change. We humans like certainty and change definitely does not provide that. But, I know people who really – really want to make changes in their life, and no matter how hard they try, they keep coming up short. Talking about or wishing for change is one thing, but actually implementing it is a whole other deal. So, what are these common issues that are causing people to fail at their desired change and how can they be avoided?

1. The most common obstacle is staying true to your priorities. We can often get sucked in to the needs of others and therefore, put our priorities on hold. How many times have you woke up in the morning and said something like; “Today I must get my workout in.” Just to find the day went flying by and you had no time to get that done? You were able to drop off little Johnny’s sports goggles to the school, your husbands cleaning is picked up and put away, and you stocked the house with food…oh and of course there is an awesome meal waiting for all! But somehow you find yourself still in your workout clothes feeling as though you ran a marathon, but actually did not get any formal workout in at all.  This is what happens when we forget to say NO to things that don’t serve us and we get wrapped up in DO DO DOING for everyone else. As a mom, wife, career woman this happens, I so get it. How many times I had a whole day planned out just to get that call from the school nurse and wham – there goes my day. Or I am guilty of getting so wrapped up in a project; I look up and say “OMG I can’t believe its 5:00 o’clock!” These things happen and as mommy’s we love to take care of our family and as career women we love to work. But there is a point where we can overdue it.

Johnny should remember his goggles…period!

Hubs laundry can wait until we are done with our workout or better yet try to find a laundry mat that delivers. SCORE!

Maybe keep dinner simpler, like a soup and sandwich for all!

Learn to say no – we don’t have to do everything for everyone, people are more capable then we give them credit for. DELEGATE!

There are ways to avoid this priority pitfall and it all starts with our expectations of ourselves. We don’t have to be the perfect mommy. We don’t have to be the only person who is able to implement at the office. Who we are and what we bring to our family and career is good enough. Removing our own needs just to make sure we satisfy the needs of everyone around us – well, let’s be real, that shit gets old! This is much harder with younger kids, I so get that. It is also more challenging when you are working for someone else. The boss wants it yesterday and the young kiddies need us.  It’s ok to keep things simple and its TOTALLY ok to ask for help – this does NOT make you less then…in fact I would argue that it makes you a better overall woman. When we take care of our needs we are happier and most definitely have better balance in our life. Everyone in our life benefits!!

 2. Time management…Oh this is one I can certainly say bites me in the butt. There are days where my entire day is planned out to a “T” but somehow – someway I get off course.  When we lack the ability to manage our time overwhelm sets in and this is the complete opposite of balance. When we lack time management we can go a whole day and forget to eat. Our workouts can suffer, if we are even able to get one in…and overall it just feels draining. Lacking focus will almost always guarantee your goals will fall to the waist side. Here are some ways around this:

Again, learn to say NO. Make your list of tasks for the day and say NO to everything else. Practice makes perfect on this! I am definitely a work in progress when is comes to saying Nnnnn….O! (YIKES!)

Caution against over committing.  This takes you being honest with yourself. When people ask if you can volunteer for something be sure your “YES” is an honest one. We all love to help and give of our time in service, it feels good, but it won’t feel good if it causing you stress. Remember balance is key!

Create a task list that is realistic. If you have 100 things on your list to do, it will be overwhelming just to look at that list, let alone start tackling those tasks. Try to stick to 3 important ‘must-do’ tasks and start from there. The satisfaction you will get when you cross off your tasks is the best feeling.

Time management is a learned skill. You will have to practice and fail and practice some more until you find what works best for you.  For me it is all about small realistic lists. Shut off all of social media and email alerts and get to it. Distractions are a big issue with time-management, and Lord knows we have plenty of those.  Mastering this is key to achieving successful change. Our time is precious and if we manage it wisely it is amazing how things fall in line.  You will see more consistency in all aspects of your life. Consistency breeds success!

 3. Planning…those who have a plan tend to be more successful. Again, this plan needs to be realistic and I think this is where many people fall short. They spend too much time dreaming about the ‘what, where, and when’ and less time in the reality of it all. Planning means you are looking at all that you want to happen (the desired outcome) and all that can possibly go wrong (the obstacles that can get in the way). 

One way to implement your plan is to create a routine. Look at your day and plan your meals, workouts, friend time, family time, reading time, bed-time – whatever it is you enjoy and of course your priorities/tasks.  Find a groove that will allow you to implement this routine daily.

What potential obstacles may get in your way? For instance, you have a work business luncheon and so you will not have your food. Find out what is on the menu and see how you can make it work for you. Maybe you will have a busy evening and this is when you normally workout – try getting up 45minutes earlier to get a 30minute HIIT(high intensity interval training) session in. Come up with work-arounds to avoid allowing any obstacles sabotage your plan.

Ask for help! You may need to ask the people in your life to help on some days when your ‘to-do’ list is too full. Asking for help will allow you to get more done and stick to your plan. Again, this is a win win for all involved. A happy wife/mom is a happy life :)

I believe we all have the best intentions when we declare how we want our life to be better, our health to be optimal, and our overall attitude toward life to be positive. I don’t think anyone can truly enjoy feeling overwhelmed and discontent with their life, but I do believe people simply don’t know how to implement anything different.  Change requires a process. It is never a one and done. Wanting the change versus making the change are very different.  

Take some time to think about the things in your life that you would like to change. Or better yet, think of all the things you have tried to change and have failed. Do these things still drive you crazy? Can you see how some of these obstacles have gotten in your way?

Try and re-visit your desired change with the mindset that there is a journey involved; it is not an all-or-nothing deal. Maybe you will feel less overwhelm and be able to see the things you need to do to make change happen. The biggest obstacle to any and all change is our mindset. Get that straight and you will be able to take the steps above to start your journey to achieving your best self yet – from the InsideOut!

In Health & FItness,

Hey Everyone, I hope you are well. Hard to believe this is the last blog post of 2014 ~ amazing how fast the year has gone. Today on the blog I want to talk about the whole concept of ‘New Year ~ New You!’ I am sure like me, you are seeing things about change, resolutions, quick fixes and more. And although I totally get it, I think this puts added pressure to become amazing overnight, and for me it just doesn’t work that way. We are all great right now! We are at our very best right at this very moment. Doesn’t mean we won’t get better. This doesn’t mean that we don’t all have some things that could use some adjusting; we are all on a journey to greatness! But, it is just that – a journey – and to think a new year can somehow speed that journey up is a bit ridiculous.  I think it is great to keep striving for greatness, but I don’t want that to be dictated by a number. I don’t want the New Year to put this pressure on me that I need to get everything I got wrong in the year prior 100% correct. As if this New Year will now allow me to achieve my greatness ASAP! There is this desire to do better and be better. Let’s be real this time of year invokes these feelings of change in all of us, it is just the way our society is – it’s the human-ness in us all. 

    Did you know only 8% of the people who proclaim a New Year’s resolution actually see it through? Only 8%!!! It seems as though we all have the first part down ~ the desire to be better. I think we can all relate to driving along in our car and thinking – maybe even dreaming if you will, of all that we can become, all that we have to offer this world. Can you relate to that? We are all dreamers in a way. It is in our dreams that our desires are born. Who we want to be and what our world will be like when we become that person. We fantasize about what it would be like to fulfill these dreams and be all that we are capable of being. We envision our life and how different it would be if we were thinner, richer, smarter and so on. Of course we truly want to be all of these things and more but somehow we get tripped up from the point of envisioning to the point of implementing. This is why only 8% of the people who seek New Year’s resolutions actually succeed.

    Many people will tell you that it is important to have goals and when those goals are well defined you will tend to succeed. But, I actually beg to differ. I believe at the core of all of us we want all good things for us and the world we live in. I believe we don’t succeed because we are too focused on our goals and dreams. In the process of fantasizing about all we can be we start to question our abilities to actually make that happen. We question where we will get the willpower to lose the weight. We question our abilities to go back to school and get a degree. We fear that if we go for a bigger job we may not be qualified and then what? It is in this dreaming that we actually disconnect from our desire to be all that we are capable of being. Our desires are one upped by our fear and then we take no action and failure is eminent.

  So then how does one succeed in achieving change?

  Dreaming is one thing, but seeking and investigating other aspects of who we are is critical in implementing our desires. Dreaming is fun, and in fact helps the brain feel pleasure, which the brain loves. Quite often those who dream will become more complacent due to this very fact. The brain feels fulfilled just by thinking and envisioning the potential outcome and therefore doesn’t have the desire to put in the hard work required to see that dream through to reality. So what is one to do? How do we ensure that the desires we spend so much time dreaming about come to be? How do we give our dreams the wings to fly?

  I came up with a 6-step process called D.E.S.I.R.E. In this process you will go through specific steps to help you dream in a more productive way. Instead of just dreaming you will go a bit deeper and see all the obstacles that stand in your way of making this dream a reality. Not in a negative way but in a realistic way. Check the steps out and see for yourself.

Dream – Think about something you REALLY – like REALLY want. Don’t think beyond the wish. Don’t worry about thinking about the how, what, where, and when part, just think about your desired wish. Maybe you want to lose 15lbs. or maybe you just want more overall health. Don’t worry about being specific just make sure it REALLY matters to you.

Envision - See yourself achieving this desire. Maybe see yourself in a pretty new dress you have been dieing to wear. Or maybe you see yourself more active with your family because you have more energy as your health has increased.  Really take the time to put a full picture to your dream.

Seek – Try to see where in your life you can make small adjustments that will help you achieve this desire. Maybe when you grocery shop you stop buying potato chips and instead purchase cut up veggies. Seek those roadblocks in your life that can be stunting your progress.

Investigate – This is probably the most important part. Ask yourself this very important question What is the biggest thing holding me back?  This is not always easy – dreaming is definitely more fun for the brain, but this is so important, especially if you want to be a part of that 8%. We need to ask our self these critical questions so we can discover what is the “it” that is preventing us from our success. This can be emotional as it can be something connected to a deeper emotional barricade.  It can be habits that you struggle to break. Or maybe it is fear or your lack of self worth. See, not as fun as dreaming, but this discovering can make a huge difference in your success of implementing your wish.

Reveal – Once you have identified your biggest obstacle take time to mentally reveal all the scenario’s that could possibly get in your way of success. Maybe it will be willpower at a party where there are cookies, cake, and wine? Maybe it’s your inability to believe that you can. Or worse yet maybe its your inability to see how worthy you are to live your best life healthy and happy from the InsideOut!? Go there – as uncomfortable as it might be, see it, feel it, and own it. Allow yourself to experience the obstacle and reveal all the different areas of your life that potentially will rear its ugly head.

Evolve – Now that you have your dream in place. You have envisioned your life with the desired outcome and you have investigated your obstacles and revealed all the different ways you can actually fail at achieving this desire now create a plan that will ensure you allow yourself to evolve into the person you desire and so deserve to be. Create a plan of various scenarios like “If this happens, then I will do______” Have a plan in place that will prepare you for any situation and armor you with strength to make the best choices possible so that you can evolve into the person you so desire to be.

  In this 6-step process we are able to visualize our dreams but also see the obstacles that can potentially get in our way. For many, they have never gone here before, so they may learn incredible things about what is blocking them. This is called positive pessimism and it has been known to help many people break the failure cycle.  I have seen it firsthand with my clients. When, together, we go through different scenarios, the issues and the outcomes, I have seen my clients be empowered to make the best choices for their life and their fat loss journey, even in situations they never thought they could possibly be successful in. 

  Dr. Gabrielle Oettingen, author of Rethinking Positive Thinking: The Science Of Motivation, calls this mental contrasting.  She states, "What we've found, in the many studies we've done, is that mental contrasting could help a lot. It means that I can take these positive fantasies and then shift gears and say, 'What holds me back from meeting these positive fantasies? What is it in me that prevents this?'” When we take the desired outcome and we challenge it with all different obstacles we see that there is a need to put the work in, we see there is a reality of hard work and commitment that is needed to make our dreams a reality. We are no longer complacent, we are motivated to dig our heals in and make happiness happen!

  In less than 24-hours 2015 will be here. There are New Year’s Resolution that will be starting with a failure rate of 92% - WOW!!! Do things differently this year. Follow my 6-step process D.E.S.I.R.E and make your dreams a reality.

  Do you have a desire to lose weight? I have put together a 28-Day Fat Blaster program that will help jumpstart your fat loss desires. In this program we will do a TON of mental contrasting. We need to see those obstacles that get in the way of our mindset and our overall health. If you are looking to make successful changes in 2015 this program is definitely for you.

  Click here for all the details >>>>>>>http://bit.ly/1zN9Jxl

  Remember, it is not necessarily about a New Year – New You, it is more about discovering who you are and what obstacles stand in your way. Make this New Year’s about allowing the greatness you have always possessed to be revealed from the InsideOut!

  In Health & Fitness,

Hey Everyone! Today on the blog I want to address the fact that yes the New Year is coming and for many it is a time for resolutions and re-charging your spirit. And although I think this is great and for many very much needed, I don’t think it needs to wait for the changing of a year.  We have the opportunity to re-charge every single day. Choices and change are an option no matter what day it is. I think we can often fall victim to waiting for change because we feel it needs to start on a certain day – “I’ll start on Monday!” How many of you, along with me, have said this in your lifetime when referring to a diet? Waiting for change is like drowning and waiting for yourself to start moving your arms and feet to start swimming. In order for change to occur you have to make things happen. There are some key qualities that one needs to possess in order for this to occur:

The ability to fail

The ability to be resilient

The ability to be open to change

Out of all three, I believe resiliency is key!

Yesterday I had the pleasure of meeting some friends and peers in the fitness industry for brunch in NYC. Jill Coleman of Jillfit Physiques and Sabrina of Sabrina Sarabella Fitness and Nutririon.  Of course we got talking about business stuff and what it takes to hold real estate in the online space. One thing we all agreed upon is in order to have staying power one must possess the ability to be resilient. I will tell you in the past 2-years I have had more disappointments, failures, and fears when it comes to business, then I have ever had in my life. You think you have this incredible program and you can’t wait for the world to embrace and love it. You put your heart and soul in it and when you launch you get only 2 people to purchase. It is a total WTF moment for sure! But it is also a critical moment in the realm of business success. Do you sit there and say “I suck!” or do you wipe your knees off and get back in the game? Resiliency is a critical component in the online space – actually, it is profound in all aspects of life. Without the ability to be resilient we lose the tenacity to stay in it. We allow ourselves to exhaust and putter out ~ we allow failure to own us. For some, they wait until Monday or a New Year to get back in and for others that Monday never comes and/or the New Year gives way to other things that take priority. 

  Here’s the thing, in life, no matter what it is you are struggling with; weight, money, relationships, education, career etc, in order to get on the other side of that you have to be willing to fail and get back up.  In Tal Ben-Shahar’s book Being Happy he talks about the perfectionist mindset and how rigid thinking can actually hold us back. We make the decision in order to be successful X,Y, & Z needs to occur and in a certain order. We are so focused on becoming _________(fill in the blank) that we decide it has to happen in a particular way. We are unwilling and unable to let anything or anyone get in our way, no matter what the cost, even if we are miserable in the process. There is a straight line from the beginning to the end and there is no room to go ‘off course’. 

  There is no room for failure.

  But let’s be real ~ don’t we all fail? Don’t we all hit bumps along the way? I know I have failed time and time again in the last two years in my quest to take up online real estate. I have continuously thrown shit at the wall just to see it slide very quickly down that wall. Disappointing yes, but defeating HELL NO! I keep throwing that shit….LOL! Some has stuck and that has been really cook to see…But, in all seriousness, if I don’t allow for pivots and turns – if I don’t allow my failures to teach me something, then there is no way I can continue this journey. There is no way I can have any room in my life for failure and therefore I lack the ability to be resilient.  All my failures would be epic and tragic as opposed to educational and inspiring.

  We can fear failure or we can look at our failure for feedback that will only make us better. We can be rigid and course or we can be open to trying a different way and revealing something amazing. We can mentally and emotionally beat the crap out of ourselves or we can look at all the wins we have had a long the way. All of this is a choice and it is one I strongly encourage you to make. We are not here to get everything perfect, we are human and in that we are forever evolving and learning…we are all on a journey.

  In our discussion yesterday during brunch, Jill brought up a phenomenal point, as she so often does…She said “There’s more from where that came from.” I think we often feel like we have to get it right the first time or else. We fear the thought of someone else coming along and one-upping us? What if we put something out there and its not amazing, then we suck and someone who comes out with something similar may not suck and then what? But, like Jill said, there is room for all of us. Once we start this downward spiral with our thinking we are leading our thoughts with a limited mindset. All we see is what we can’t have. We get caught up in the noise of our own thinking, which by the way can be super powerful in a very bad way, and we land in pause-mode.

  Shawn Anchor talks about this in his book Before Happiness – “Negative thinking –whether in the form of fear, anxiety, self-doubt, pessimism, or worry – is the most dangerous type of noise around because it not only impairs our ability to hear the positive signal, but undermines all our other efforts at creating positive change.”  When we believe we suck and we tell ourselves we suck – we will absolutely suck. But when we fail at something we worked really hard at and we allow ourselves to embrace the failure and be open to the lessons it will teach us, we are then prepared to pivot and change. When we lean into our process, which may not always be so pretty, we enable growth and empowerment. Resiliency is the ability to see our failure as a gift – a door to opens to change.

  Don’t get me wrong, failure sucks when it happens, but take a second and think about all the things you have failed at – if those failures never happened would you be the person you are today? Really think about that…

  So, if you are struggling with something or you feel like you need change in your life. Don’t wait for Monday or for the New Year – embrace it today. We are all a work in progress – perfectly imperfect. We were made to fail – practice - and then fail again. Yes, there will be successes along the way, and you should celebrate every single one of them, every win – small or big matters.  But, the times you fail should also be embraced. Those who get knocked down but get up again and again – they are the ones who learn an invaluable lesson. They have staying power. They have the ability to fail, learn, change, and forge forward.

  In Health & Fitness,

Hey Everyone! This week I picked up a book that was sitting in my nightstand. I thought to myself; “Did I read this?” Have you ever read a book and totally forgot reading it? Or better yet have you ever read a book and then re-read it and it was a completely different experience? I have done this on a few occasions and I always find it so interesting how at different times in our lives the same information reveals a different learning experience.

  Something that is discussed in the book, The Backdoor To Enlightenment,  is the idea of “perfect impermanence.” I love how Rinpoche and Nebelsieck use this term. Basically what this means is that nothing in this world is permanent.  Everything around us and within us is forever changing. Why is this the “perfect” perspective? This perspective allows us to live our lives without attaching or investing too much in any one thing; we are open to change.

  Let’s take relationships. I met my husband when I was only seventeen years old.  We dated all through high school and college until we moved on in our lives to a more committed relationship with marriage and children. I invested my whole heart into my relationship with Andrew and I still do to this very day. BUT – But here is the thing, since those teen years hands down we have changed in many more ways than one.  If I invested my whole heart into that seventeen year old boy, if I decided that that person is who I would love forever, then I would leave no room for change and in that I would be setting us up for disaster.

  When we live our lives with the understanding that things change, people change, and there is no need for fear around it all – then we leave our hearts open to embrace change.  As we allow change to come we avoid fixating on any one thought. For example, if I was to think that Andrew should always be a carefree seventeen year old that is spontaneous and free spirited I would be confined to this pre-conceived notion and therefore set myself up for disappointment.

  When we box ourselves into limiting thoughts and visions on how we think our life should be we set ourselves up for discontent. How miserable would I be if after 3-kids, financial responsibilities, careers, and more if I maintained the same expectation that Andrew should remain as his happy go lucky seventeen-year-old self? I would be pretty frigging miserable at the first sign of any stress, and lets be real kids, a house, dogs, and careers – there is stress. ..LOL! It is an unrealistic expectation and it limits my ability to allow Andrew to change and embrace our life together…

  How about people who are struggling with body image or desire to lose weight. Again, there is a plethora of limiting thoughts around this. “I should be skinnier!” “I shouldn’t eat that.” “I was so bad last night…I ate 2 pieces of cake!”  Ultimately, it is the emotions we attach to these thoughts that create the discontent.

  I remember a few years back I was feeling bloated and not as tone, my clothes were slightly snug and so the thinking ensued. “I’m a hot mess, I need to lose weight, I am going on a diet. I am taking my measurements and weighing myself and I am going all in.” I had determined that I was not at my best weight and I needed to do something about it to get back to where I was. I feared that my body would change so much that I could potentially become fat and remain that way…Funny thing was, when I took my measurements I was only up half an inch in my waist and only 2Lbs on he scale. WHAT?!  Then again this past summer I did a program with Dr. Jade Teta called Feed The Lean. Basically, it was a different approach to healing and re-charging our metabolism and digestive system.  When I stepped on the scale at week 8 I had only lost 5lbs…HUH? I thought what the heck. Then I took my measurements and I had gone down in everything. Then I took my pictures and compared from week 1 to week 8 and I was blown away.

  The belief that ‘I am not skinnier unless certain numbers change’ is limiting. If you only lose 5lbs then somehow that is not enough. We set these pre-conceived expectations of what is sufficient and what is not and this limits our acceptance of change. If I never took those pictures and saw it with my own eyes I would be limited to numbers and that would have been disappointing. Even though I felt good, my clothes were fitting well, and the numbers were coming down – 5lbs just didn’t seem enough, I was discontent with the thought of only 5lbs. But, when I allowed myself to see it through my pictures then I was able to allow perfect impermanence to settle in. I realized my body was changing in a different way than I had expected; lower body fat and more muscle, which didn’t necessarily mean a ton of weight loss, and I was ok with that.

  I think we can all agree there is a ton of discontent in the world today. We all want for more, we all assume we need more, and even when we have it all there is always MORE! Outside of the ‘wanting’ there is this intense fear of change. As if change is something that is bad. We get fixated on the belief that things should remain the same as this means all is status quo.  In actuality change is critical to survival.

  If we take a look at nature change is constant. It knows exactly what it needs to do and when.  We also know when we need to make a change in our life but we avoid it like the plague. It creates anxiety and fear. All the ‘what if’s’ that come flooding in prevent us from making change in our lives and we simply keep on keeping on – surviving but not thriving! It is here that we breed our greatest discontent. If we avoid change then we are always seeking and wondering and wishing ~ we are never satisfied.

  If Andrew and I never allowed ourselves to evolve into the adults we were meant to be we would have never realized all the great things we possess as adults in this world. I had no idea he was so organized and how calm he can stay in a high intense situation. At seventeen I just knew he was handsome, smart, a great dancer, and made me laugh and he still is all of those things and SOOO much more.  As we got older and life threw major changes our way I realized more and more who he was and all the greatness he possessed inside. The more I allowed him to evolve the more of who he is I embraced.

  Resistance to change doesn’t allow us to see the good that is right in front of us. Fear and anxiety over change simply creates more fear and anxiety. The fear of losing weight and keeping it off will definitely prevent someone from taking action.  The fear of the person you marry changing as life goes on will prevent you from ever getting married.  But isn’t it even scarier to think that you and/or the ones you love have no chance of changing?

  Perfect impermanence gives us the freedom to embrace change and be the best version of ourselves possible. With every step in life we evolve, and this is a very good thing. We learn - we get smarter. We struggle - we get stronger. We face our fears and our fears become smaller. We believe we can and we do. If you have discontent in your life it may be due to your resistance to change.  Our beliefs are powerful – and changeable. Perfect impermanence allows us to embrace the change; even if that change doesn’t turn out the way we expected…there is always room for even more change.

  In Health & Fitness,

Hey Everyone ~ I hope this finds you well. Today on the blog we are going to talk about the difference between DOING versus BEING!

  I really started thinking about this when I was on my own PURPOSE journey. I was constantly doing - as a Mom of 3-boys that is what we do - we DO! But what started to happen was I defined myself according to what I did - how much I accomplished in a day.

  -->I was good if I was able to accomplish all the house 'stuff' and still spend quality time with my kids.

  -->I was SUPER good if I was able to DO everything I needed to and get a killer workout in.

  --> I was UNSTOPPABLE GOOD if I was able to get all my 'stuff' done, get a workout in, and cook an awesome dinner!

REALLY? I laugh at this now....

  It was all about what I was doing that made me feel either really good about myself or really crappy about myself.

  THE TURN AROUND ~

  The turn around for me was when I stopped focusing so much on *WHAT* I was DOING and more on *WHO* I was BEING. Did it really matter that I accomplished all of those things? Was I a better Mom/wife/woman because my house was spotless? Was I unforgettable because of my ability to wear so many hats in a day and manage to get it all done?

  ABSOLUTELY NOT!

  In fact I would argue that trying to keep up with measuring my worth according to *WHAT* I did on any given day was preventing me from living my life as the very best version of me. I was exhausted, cranky, miserable, and worst of all resentful.

  When I started to say; "Something has to give!" (more than every once in a while!) I knew that literally something had to give. But none of this would have changed if I started to delegate more help from my kids or my husband that always just made it worse because someone always came up short. You know the whole "no one does it like I do!" crap! So, I decided to take a few steps back and start focusing inward.

  What was it about me that made me feel if I wasn't *DOING* I wasn't being a good Mom/Wife/Woman? Why did I feel this need to keep busy even though it was eating away at who I was - my *BEING*?

  This is something we all need to think about, kids or no kids – are we so focused on *DOING* that it has taken us away from who we are at our core?  We can get sucked into this doing mindset so much so, that we become oblivious to what truly matters most.

  I believe one of my greatest ‘A-HA’ moments while on my purpose journey was related to the legacy I wanted to leave behind.  I didn’t care to be remembered as the woman who had a super clean house and who cooked dinner for her kids every night.  When I reflected on my legacy those things weren’t even mentioned because at the end of the day they don’t define me. As much as I was allowing them to or actually choosing to let them define me – they don’t. I am so much more then the cleanliness of my house or the food I put or don’t put on the table.  This was an important revelation – this gave me the freedom to BE!

  I think one of the mistakes we make is we think our purpose has to be life changing – something that changes the world. I strongly believe this is directly connected to the fact that most of us feel the more we are DOING the more we are BEING. But is this true!?

  I would argue no so much!

  DOING simply means you are busying yourself with tasks and although important and necessary, it doesn’t necessarily mean you are BEING the person you are meant to be.  If we allow ourselves to get too caught up with DOING we fail to see who we are meant to be and why we are here on this earth. You see, busyness prevents us from being present – it keeps us away from the BEING aspect of our life. In that, we are unable to live with purpose and instead we have stress, frustration, exhaustion, and resentment.

Have you ever met a person who is so busy ALL THE TIME!? Every time you speak with them they say “I am so busy!” or “I am at my wits end, there is not enough time in the a day?” Can you see yourself in these statements? I can totally see me – I can hear myself saying this. I used to say it everyday, two to three times a day. These are those red flags and important reminders that we need to check ourselves before we wreck ourselves. I was so busy but yet I got nothing done…LOL! Seriously, I was so busy helping friends, doing favors, cleaning the house, cooking dinner; blah – blah – blah – and at the end of the day there was always something I wasn’t able to attend to. 9 times out of 10 I felt I came up short.  This is where all that resentment, frustration, lack of focus and exhaustion comes in. We get so busy with all the goings on, that we forget that sometimes just allowing yourself to just BE matters just as much, if not more.

  Taking care of you is actually ok!

  In week two of my Pursuing Purpose program we talk about priorities and we do this because this is one area that really sheds light on how we are living our life. When I took time to reflect on my priorities I had some major “OMG” moments. For instance, one of my priorities was spending quality time with my family, but it was one of the things I did the least. Why? Because I was so focused on proving I was a good Mom/Wife/Woman that I was too busy DOING. I think about all the times I would say to my son(s) “Not now Mommy has to _______.” This realization really made me understand that I wasn’t feeling fulfilled because I wasn’t fulfilling the things in my life that really mattered. Adjusting our priorities can have HUGE trickle down affect benefits.  Simple changes like time management and not sweating the small stuff can really make a positive impact on you BEING more present in your life.  And here’s the thing, when we are focused more on BEING we are happier, more fulfilled, and more passionate about our life. Why? Because we are honoring our true purpose ~ our BIG WHY!

  I don’t know about you, but I know for me, when I die and I am no longer physically on this earth I want my children to say she was the best Mom because she always listened, she was always there with a non-judgmental – loving support, she always put a smile on my face when she knew I needed it and every day she made me feel loved. Anything outside of this doesn’t matter. My purpose is way more than anything I DO. Who I am and how I live my life as a good person who loves, has empathy and compassion that is what matters.

  Here’s the kicker…..

  When I stay focused on who I am BEING it allows me to DO everything in my life really really well! You see it is not about what we DO but instead how we do it.  If I want to keep a clean house I need to do it with a grateful heart and when I focus on my BEING and why cleaning the house matters to me, well then I can do it with a loving heart.  Let’s take weight loss. If I am DOING it to achieve a certain number there will be disappointment and frustration. Versus losing weight so that I can BE the person I desire to be. So I can be true to my purpose of living as a great example to my children and respecting the body God gifted me with – then my weight loss becomes a journey not a process.

  Life will be stressful and there will be curve balls to dodge now and again, this is unavoidable, but if we truly want to live our best life we have to take the time to explore what that looks like.

  I hope you will join me for an opportunity to explore your life;

Where are you headed?

How do you spend your days?

What are some things you wish you could accomplish?

What are the things in your life that fire you up in a good way and how often to you allow yourself the chance to engage in those things?

Pursuing Purpose is all about designing the life you have always dreamed of by learning who you are and what matters most. It is about honoring your core values and living authentically from the InsideOut!

  There is an amazing person in each and every one of us. We owe it to ourselves and the ones we love to explore this deeper and live a passionate life – to be the best version of ourselves possible.

  I look forward to guiding you through your purpose journey.

All the details are here>>>>>>>>>>http://bit.ly/1uPYlNQ

  In Health, Fitness, & PURPOSE!

Hey! Hope you are all well  - this week on the blog I am talking about wants versus needs. I have been thinking about this a lot lately. In this day and age, we humans tend to want for so much. Materialism is robbing us in many ways; in fact it is one of the top 10 issues facing this generation. But, how could we expect anything else? We have constant reminders 24/7 of endless ‘things’ that will so call “enhance” our lives; cell phones, fancy cars, computers, and then there is elaborate vacations, homes, clothing and more. It is no longer just commercials that advertise all these amazing life enhancing ‘things’ but we now have it right at our fingertips with cell phones and tablets. There is an abundance of things for us to want and when it is so easily accessible it makes the yearning for it even stronger.

 But what happens when we mistake our wants for our needs? I believe many people think they need something to make their life better but yet once they get it, their life doesn’t change. I am sure many of us have said, at one time or another, something like “When I buy that treadmill I will be able to lose these 10lbs and then I will be at my perfect weight.” Or “When I buy that house my life will be more organized because we will have more room, and then we will be more happy because we will be settled” But can all of this ‘stuff’ truly make us happier? I think we both know the answer to that. Things don’t create happiness – true happiness comes from within.  Wants are optional; they are not a key component to living your best life. Needs, on the other hand, are not optional, they are key ingredients to creating your best life.

So, how does one even know what they need?

  I believe this is the missing link. So many people have allowed themselves to get so caught up and distracted with wants. They have gotten bitten by the ‘keeping up with the Jones’s’ disease. This constant urge for wanting more eventually gets the better of them – even worse, they become less and less aware of what they actually need.  Depression, frustration, lack of focus, tension, and even addiction can be the result.  They are unable to see their needs because of how driven they are by their wants.

  I conducted a survey recently and asked over 5,000 people about this very topic. There was an overwhelming response and I was amazed at the lack of direction most people feel. One of the questions was about ranking how they felt their life was going. 66.67% of the people felt “Some days I just feel like something has to give.”  15.15% of the people were willing to take risks to live out their dreams and 18.18% felt most days they were living mindfully and living their best version of themselves.  I believe that the 18.18% of the people who are living mindfully are more in touch with their needs versus their wants. Most people who live their lives with a clear understanding of their needs tend to live more mindfully – they have a clear direction and they understand their fundamental purpose for being on this earth. They feel more fulfilled, peaceful, and passionate about their life.

So, how can we all be more like the 18.18% of the people who feel they are living their best life? Here are some ways to discover the difference between your wants versus your needs:

1)   Get in tune with your core values. Who are you at your core? How do you want to be remembered? What legacy do you want to leave behind? This is really important to think about. Do you want to be remembered as the person in the big house, with the fancy cars, and the awesome jewelry? Or is there more to you? If so, what is that? Think about your values and morals and in that you will discover your needs for living your best life.

2)   Focus on your priorities. What are they? Who do they include? How much time, in any given week, do you give to nurturing those priorities? This is a great way to gauge if you are living a life fulfilling your wants or meeting your needs.

3)   Think about your younger more innocent self. Who were you then? What made you light up with happiness? What mattered most to you then? Compare yourself now to your younger self. What are some simple characteristics that you may have let go? What was it about your younger self that let the simple things in life make you joy-filled? It is amazing how our younger version can teach us so much about our current life. Our younger self can actually help us get back to our core values.

4)   What are some things that fire you up!? In a good way!! What are you passionate about? What gets you excited? What are some things that when you take time to do them, they come easy to you and you enjoy every second? Those things that time flies by when you engage in them. These are the things that relax your mind and fire up your spirit. There are few things that truly spark the fire of our spirit. Quite often we forget what these things are because we tend to let these go first, as ‘we have so many other things to do, we are soooo busy!’ Take some time to think about the things you love – these help us focus on what matters most and help us live our best life.

  Another question on my survey was “If time nor money were not a concern, what would you choose to do with your life everyday?” Think about that…We live in a ‘wanting’ society and so we have allowed time and money to dictate our outcomes – our happiness. What if neither one was a concern? Life would look incredibly different for all of us, or at least many of us. By no means am I suggesting you say ‘screw it’ - quit your job and go back pack through Europe...Although, how much fun would that be!!!!??? What I am saying is when we understand our bigger purpose we then understand how to meet our needs and live our life fulfilling them first and therefore, wanting for almost nothing.

How freeing and amazing is that!?

Every client I work with answers a client intake. The typical lifestyle questions about sleep and stress, weight and measurements, and of course exercise and nutrition are addressed. But, the very MOST important question I ask before starting my program is this: “WHAT IS YOUR PURPOSE FOR WANTING TO SEEK A HEALTHIER LIFESTYLE?”

  The way in which a person answers this question reveals more to me than any other question I ask. Why? Because there is a distinct difference between someone who has a strong emotional purpose versus someone who has a strong desire or want. Those who have a strong purpose tend to do extremely well not only on my program but long-term in changing their life from the inside out. I started to see a trend at around my 35th client. I would have people that wrote almost an essay on why this is so important to them. Claiming their love for their children and their spouse, and even wanting to respect their body and give it all it needs to live healthy and fit long-term. There were strong emotional reasons to why they needed to re-claim their health. They had a strong purpose. Compared to others who would write one or two sentences about all the different sizes in their closet and how they just wanted to fit into one of them. There are also those who are on a mission to slim down for a wedding or a vacation. Can you see the difference between the want versus the need?

  More and more I was seeing a critical correlation; those who live with purpose are able to stay more focused, more resilient, and more dedicated to their process. Compared to those who did not, they were the ones who were often frustrated, complaining about food and workouts, and even worse would completely disappear by week 5. They were unable to stay committed because they lacked purpose – their emotional anchor for staying in it.

  This got me thinking. I myself had a purpose revelation back in 2009 and I took specific steps to help me discover my BIG WHY! So I thought, ‘why not share this with the world?’ I decided to take my experience, my thoughts, and my inspiration and put it all on paper. I created a program to help people understand their purpose so that once and for all they could live their best life, from the InsideOut. They didn’t need to fall victim to the ‘wanting’ society anymore.  I created an 8-week DIY called Pursuing Purpose: A journey To Discover Your BIG Why!

I have had the pleasure of launching this program first in my private continuity membership group and the results have been amazing. People came to amazing revelations about their life and about where they want their life to be. What I love most about this program, it’s not about discovering your next big career move or changing your entire life course, it is more about discovering who you are, at your core so that no matter what you choose to do in your life you will do it really well. You will live your best life because you will be your very best version of you!

  If you feel like ‘something has to give’ or if you often wonder “where is my life going?” this program is for you. If you are looking for focus and a clear direction, you will find it through this process. If you want to be your very best version, but you are just not 100% sure what that means or how that looks, this is for you. Or if you are like me and are simply a person who likes to seek and learn, you will absolutely love this process.

  This is a 'go at your own pace' process. No two people will have the same experience, so although it is 8-week’s I encourage you to take all the time you need.  Everything will be delivered straight to your email in PDF form with a short video synopsis of the current weeks goals.  It is an amazing journey that will allow you to see what your needs truly are, assess if you are meeting them, and learn ways to live your best life – your very best version of you.

When we know our purpose, we have a clear direction and a profound understanding of what that requires. We no longer allow the pulls of the ‘wanting’ society to distract us. We are empowered to take risks to attain our dreams. We are more organized and focused. Stress and anxious thinking are minimized. We confidently live our best life.

  You owe this to yourself and those you love. Heck, invite others to take the journey with you ~ the more the merrier!

  Join me for the next 8-Weeks and let me guide you through your journey to discovering your true purpose ~ your BIG Why! Start living your best life by being the very best version of you from the InsideOut! All the details are here:

I look forward to guiding you through this process ~ what an amazing journey it will be.

  In Health & Fitness,

What is it about having to stop for gas that is so annoying? I find I always need gas in the most time pressing moments. You know when you are running all over the place and have a list longer than your arm – the last thing you want to do is stop for gas right? I remember one time I was racing to pick up my son from pre-school. I looked down and there it was – that damn light and the big letter “E”. I was so concerned about getting him on time so I just kept going. I thought,  “I will get gas on the way home”.  Well,  I picked him up and as we proceeded to go, we came upon a bridge, we started to climb it and all of a sudden…put, put, put…stall! Yup, it happened – I ran out of gas!

  And what does this have to do with health and wellness anyway? LOL!

Well, first of all I hope you are all well.  Today on the blog we are taking about truly balancing our life so that we can take some time to tap into what matters most – our soul. Probably the one area many of us spend very little time.

Here is the thing, when that light illuminates in your car and you have the big letter “E” starring at you, you have no choice, you must pull over and fill that puppy up – well, you have a choice but if you want the car to move you must fill up. Gas is the only way that vehicle will keep going. It is its main source of energy to operate, along with oil.  That reminder is awesome because like it or not, it is in your face and it cannot be ignored.  As annoying as it might be to have to stop and get gas (beside the ridiculous prices) taking the time to do this will ensure you can keep on keeping on!

So, why is it so easy to address the needs of our car, the machinery that allows us to get to and from where we need to be but we find it so hard to address the needs of our mind, body, and soul – the true main machinery of our life. 

PONDER THIS…Are you more likely to take time out of your busy day to get gas or take time to meditate and nurture yourself?

I think we all know the answer, and for the 5% or less who said meditate, you can’t see me, but I am bowing down to you – you’re amazing! I am sure you are not relating so much to being “so busy’ because you design your days to avoid that kind of crap – right!?

For the rest of you who seem to live in ‘busy-ness’ there is a very slim chance that you would even consider fitting in meditation or quiet down time on most days. Because, heck ‘you are so busy!’

PONDER THIS…Maybe it is your busy-ness that is helping you avoid addressing your needs? Yup – maybe you are allowing yourself to stay ‘soooo busy’ as a means to NOT address your needs of your mind, body, and soul!? 

I can so relate to this.  There was a time in my life that I consumed myself with being busy. I have been married for 21 years. In that 21-years we have had 3-children, 3-dogs, 3-different homes, and with all of that and more comes a lot of stress.  I think we can all agree marriage is never perfect and everyday it takes re-committing yourself to the journey of your unity. And let us all be brutally honest, there is a lot of bullshit to sift through when it comes to merging a life with someone else; what they like, what you don’t like, what to paint the frigging walls, whether to go to sleep with the TV on or off , blah, blah, blah!

The point is this – every marriage sees their ups and downs and there was a time when we were in a major down – during this time I got so damn busy that I became like Forrest Gump – I ran for miles (seriously I became a marathon runner), I spent hours in the gym, and I consumed myself with my kids. Everything “needed” me! It wasn’t conscious, but it totally allowed me to avoid what was – it allowed me to be the busiest person around.  My busy-ness allowed me to avoid and stay in deep denial. 

When I look back at this time, I realize I was actually protecting myself in many ways. I didn’t want to be vulnerable and I didn’t want to face the potential of a failed marriage. I wanted everything to be o-k and so for me avoiding it for a while was the best way. Denial can be a beautiful thing – UNTIL, it bites you in the ass.

PONDER THIS…What if, instead of avoiding, you allowed yourself to just BE in your present state of affairs? What if you did take time to re-connect with your soul and truly tap into what you have on your mind, body, and soul?

  I will tell you, avoidance will catch up. Just like the gas tank, if you don’t fill up you will eventually putter out and stall.

As I went through this time in my life, which by the way – I am ABUNDANTLY grateful for as it taught me so much,  I realized that the more I avoid and maintain my ‘busy’ the more and more I am becoming a victim. I was perpetuating the problem not making it better. I would sit there and feel sorry for myself, thinking “I am always so busy - why? It’s not fair” Waa Waa – poor me right!? I lived like this for quite some time, until one day I was given a very special gift. A person at my church had given me this book called The Rhythm of Life, by Matthew Kelly and once I read this book it literally changed my life. 

  This book spoke to me about creating a rhythm in my life.  A healthy way of touching base with myself and tuning into my needs so that I can live with purpose and not be stuck in being a victim all the time. To have clarity on why I am here and how I can live my best life. How I can be my very best version. We can’t do this unless we know who we are.

  Every morning I started to wake up and meditate, not so easy for such a busy person like myself. At first I thought I would go nuts. But, I just kept practicing and before I knew it I actually started to love it. I would wake before anyone in the house and spend this quiet time alone, just me – mind, body, and soul. Eventually I got so good at it, I would find myself sitting there for 10-20-30+minutes – just still.

  Here is the thing – that stillness was golden. Like filling your gas tank so that you car can operate at its optimum, sitting in stillness can also re-fuel your mind, body, and soul. Here is why…

  When we allow stillness to settle in, we also allow ourselves to be open and more aware of the needs of our soul. I am someone who never liked to speak up about what I needed – heck I wasn’t even sure what it actually was I needed. But, when you allow your soul to have a voice – clarity is the gift you will receive. Speaking up about your needs is no longer fearful – in fact, quite often you end up meeting your own needs and stop looking to others to do that for you. You are no longer the victim and can take life on in a more positive way, seeing the good all around you. Relationships become healthier. Life somehow becomes less busy – you won’t accept anything less. You start to honor your process and people start to notice you are more radiant and joy-filled, not one big ball of stress.

  I remember one day when my youngest son came running up the hill to our house after coming off the bus. I ran out to meet him and I said, “Hey buddy, how was your day!” he looked up at me, with a semi-half smile of disbelief and said “Why are you so happy?” I thought to myself – ‘wow, what a bitter sweet comment’. To me this affirmed that I had been in abyss of busyness, stress, and down right chaos and after practicing for sometime to meet the needs of my soul – I was radiating happiness!

  I was fueling myself with love, awareness, and clarity and it was showing. I was quieting the noise of my life and for the first time in a very long time I was listening to my needs. The more I loved myself the more I allowed others to love me AND -  the more I loved them.

  So, PONDER THIS…Are you on “E”? Are you emotionally on empty because you have allowed yourself to become so busy that you aren’t even sure what you need anymore?

  We are good at this. It allows us to blame. It allows us to avoid being vulnerable. It helps us play out the role of the victim. All of which makes us feel like we are about to putter out and stall.  We are basically running on empty!

  I encourage you to take some time, be still, allow silence to settle in, and embrace the needs of your mind, body, and soul. I will tell you, not only is it the greatest gift you can give to yourself, but it will have a positive impact on all the relationships you are in. Clarity is an amazing gift. It frees you from holding on to excess ‘stuff’. You are free to live and let live – because you know, with 100% clarity what you need from the InsieOut!

Are you a “Happy CAMPER?” I think we often think about this. We have those moments when we are driving along and we think “Am I happy?” My husband would say, “I don’t do this!” Haha – and you know what, he doesn’t which is fine, but I do and I am sure some of you do and those who don’t – well you probably stopped reading this at “Are you a Happy CAMPER?!”

  I am a very introspective deep thinker. I see all aspects of things and I look for the deeper meaning in them all. Probably sometime to a fault but none-the-less it is what it is. Lately, I have been thinking so much about the struggle with weight and why it happens and where it all comes from. Why can’t we all just get with it? Why is it such a struggle for so many? Why do some people allow themselves to get so obese? As well as why are people who are 5-10lbs overweight so hard on themselves? (I usually always think about this kind of stuff while driving – why is that!?)

  So, I came upon this acronym the Happy CAMPER by Dr. Miriam Tatzel of Empire State College, and it got me thinking even more. It’s not so much about the weight, as many of us know, the weight is just a symptom of.  Similar to people whom never have enough when it comes to materialistic goods, we too suffer from not being enough when it comes to our physique.

  Think about someone you know who is always buying ‘stuff’. They are up on the latest and greatest things. Cars, purses, clothing, trips, houses, jewelry and on and on.  They just can’t seem to get enough. They have an insatiable need to buy buy buy. When they are not buying they are talking about buying. They love materialistic things, they post it, share it, talk about the buying experience – they simply love it!

Now think about someone who is the happiest person you know. They are the person who every time you see them they make the conversation about you. They truly want to know how you are. They ALWAYS make you feel positive and grateful to know them. They are a bright light in your life. They are the people you love to be with and who you feel safe with sharing your happiness, struggles, and successes. They are successful but not in the way one might think. They have a happy home, a healthy body, and a strong faith life. They live a good life.

  The Happy CAMPER stands for Competence, Autonomy, Meaning, Pleasure, Engagement, and Relationships. People who strive to live a life with meaning and purpose tend to be ‘happy campers’. They embrace their life and spend on experiences more than on ‘stuff’. They don’t look to things, food, or others to be fulfilled they engage with life through loving the experiences they choose to have. They are the people who make time to volunteer because it fulfills them. These are the people who are focused on doing versus having.

  We live in a world of excess; we have access to endless things. We have so many options that I believe many of us are overwhelmed and as a result indecisive. We fear that if we choose “A” we might miss out on “B” and then what happens when “C” comes out! YIKES!! We all suffer from major FOMO (fear of missing out) in one way or another.  We are easily caught up in having versus doing.

  We see this in the materialistic people we know and we also see it in those who struggle with weight (over weight and underweight). We all fear sacrifice. No one wants to go without. We live in a society of endless options and so why would we opt to not have? ‘If I can afford it I am getting it – hell, even if I can’t afford it I am getting it.’ I mean, seriously, I see this all the time in people I know and love.  No one likes to go without and in fact I would argue, many people believe this makes them happy – when they can have what they want, they will be fulfilled. When thy can have it all, life will be awesome! But can we have it all? In a world that is loaded with ‘stuff’ can we really have it all?

  I believe the “I want to have it all” mindset is the exact thing that is getting us in trouble – as a people and a world.

  Don’t get me wrong, I believe we should dream and if a dream pulls on us we should do our best to see it through, but that dream will not bring you to having it all, that will just fulfill one aspect of your desires. I dreamed of being a Mother, I loved babies. I had my son and fulfilled that dream. So why did I need to have 2 more? You see, dreams are meant to be fulfilled but that doesn’t mean we stop dreaming. What we need to be careful about it the insatiable need to fulfill our life with outside things that really mean nothing – the “I want it all” mindset.

  For me, being a mother meant everything and when I had my first son it was so amazing and so incredibly fulfilling that there was no way I couldn’t welcome or want more. I have 3-sons and when I was pregnant with my 3rd many people would say “Oh trying for that girl?” and the answer was no. I wasn’t caught up in the “I want it all” mindset, I simply was fulfilling my dreams of being a mother, no matter what the sex was.

  I believe the same holds true with weight issues. There is this desire to be healthy and fit but when FOMO sets in we are torn. Here is the thing, any type of change in life takes sacrifice. To change one thing means you have to stop doing something else. This is not easy. It is made especially hard in our society where every commercial is of a Big Mac (do they still sell those?!) or some mouth watering pizza commercial with all kinds of things stuffed in its crust! The excess factor is everywhere and at times it is hard to have to go with out. We suffer from the “I want it all” even when it comes to weight loss and weight management.  

  Have you ever heard your mother say “It was so much easier when you were a kid!”? When I look back at my childhood, I agree, it was so much easier. We had less and therefore we wanted less. Today, we have so much to contend with. We see more things so it is our natural instinct to want more things. It is definitely not easy today to find your happy place, to balance your lifestyle and live a healthy life. But, think about that happy friend – what does that person have that makes their life so happy? Why are they such a happy CAMPER?

  Many Happy CAMPERS tend to be frugal meaning they practice, in every aspect of their life, conserving. They are not excess seekers. They don’t need a lot of any one thing. This is why when you speak to them you feel listened to and loved – they don’t need it to be about them. They live their life in a way to avoid bad and be content with simply good. They don’t need it all and most important they don’t suffer from FOMO because they are optimistic and believe they have and will have all they need.

  We can all learn from the Happy CAMPER in our life. Practicing conservation versus excess is not such a bad thing. We don’t have to have it all, we can start to practice having some and allowing that to be good enough. If we can enjoy the abundance of love and friendship we have in our life, spend in our experiences versus at the mall, maybe then we start to embrace the mindset of doing versus having.

  It is in our experiences that we find our joy. The more we allow ourselves to engage in our lives the more we will discover our purpose. Having things doesn’t give us the opportunity to be fit, healthy, or even happy - doing things, which allows us to connect with others, does.

10 years ago, if someone said to me “I am hiring a coach to teach me how to eat, exercise, and live a really healthy life” I would have probably laughed and said “WHY? Just count your calories and kick your ass in the gym for 2-hours, that’ll do you good.” Honestly, that was my answer and I would have totally encouraged someone else to do the same thing that was working for me. Why not? What I am doing should work for everyone right? Even the fitness and weight loss industry says all you have to do is eat less and exercise more and you will be fine – right?!

WRONG! There is so much more to living our best life and if what you are doing now is not working, I would encourage you to keep searching until you find what does.

  But, be very careful where you are looking.  The answer to all your health and fitness concerns is closer than you think. They all lie within you. Yup! We just need to stop the plan following and listening to what everyone else is doing and once and for all find our way…OUR PROCESS!

  Do you want to keep doing what you have always done and keep getting the results you have always gotten? Or, do you want to learn how to live healthy and fit long term by discovering your process? It comes down to this – you can keep spinning your wheels and diet jumping or you can work with someone who knows firsthand that that B.S DOES NOT WORK! I did the whole diet jumping, weighing food, depriving, and over exercising. The hell I put myself through and my body, was exhausting. I literally counted every calorie for over 5-years! I allowed the noise of infomercials, magazines, and things like the next greatest “diet fix” sway me. I made decisions for my health that were based off of what was working for someone else; it had nothing to do with me at all.  I kept this up for a long time. For a while I was the ‘skinniest’ I had ever been. I thought it was great. I barely fit into a size 2, my clothes were falling off of me. But, then, like many of you can relate to – metabolic compensation – my body had had enough.

See when we push our metabolism too far it will push back and it won’t be pretty. By the time I ran the Boston Marathon I weighed the most I had ever weighed in my life…WTH!? It was a terrible feeling both emotionally and physically. I was exhausted and downright hopeless. No matter what I did nothing worked, I kept gaining weight and losing energy. It wasn’t until I respected my body and discovered my process. I was so drained from trying to figure it all out and completely hopeless. I hated my body and I was miserable because of it. 

Luckily, I landed in the hands of Dr. Jade Teta of the Metabolic Institute and this is where my life took a turn for the better. Together, we created my process that would allow me to tune into the needs of my body and drown out the noise of what everyone else was doing. What works for me, may not work for you and what works for you may not work for me. We have to learn to tune into our own individual needs and stop following these plans. Diet plans are void of strategies. They dictate what you should be doing, even if it doesn’t work for you. Creating strategies is key; once you have them they will always be there to fall back onto. They are your foundation and they help implement your process.

  So, how does working with a nutrition coach help the average person looking for optimal health?

Decreases the amount of time to figure out your healthy. When I work with clients I see and hear firsthand their A-HA moments. Together we put the pieces of the puzzle together. One by one we dissect what their current lifestyle profile is and how we can make small tweaks to enhance their life and turn them into a fat burning machine. We create strategies that give them huge trickle down effects that allow them to take their average lifestyle into a healthy radiant one.

We zone in on a specific type of weight loss. The advantage of working with me is I am a FAT LOSS expert. I am in the business of balancing hormones so to get your body burning fat like a boss! Losing weight doesn’t make you healthy. Losing fat 100% does. We want to zone in on your fat weight. I don’t want you becoming a smaller version of yourself, I want you to redefine the look and feel of your body, from the InsideOut! When we eat specific foods and address lifestyle factors we make this happen quite quickly. Again, something that might take you quite a while to figure out I have systematically down to a science! Have I told you I LOVE what I do J They say time is money but even more important we don’t have time when it comes to our health, we need to figure this out and live a healthy, vibrant life TODAY! You are so deserving and so are the people who love you!

You will become the master of your body. I have endless tools that I will teach you that will help you stop relying on willpower and start relying on developing skills that work for your life. I don’t care if you are insanely busy or sitting on a beach all day – I approach each person in a customizable way. There are no one size fits all. I meet you where you are and we work from there. What you learn is priceless. Nothing is left unaddressed. You will know what works for your body. You will be smarter, healthier, happier and leaner. We address it all and then some:

Foods

Exercise

Sleep

Stress

Mindset

People – yes, even people can be sucking our health right out of us, and we will discuss it.

Habits

With my full assessment and coaching call you will once again gain the confidence in your body that is needed to implement change. Let’s face it, when you keep trying plan after plan and nothing sticks (besides weight! Rrr) there is a level of frustration that goes without saying. One of the things I set out to do is show you that there is hope. My 12-Week RADIATE program is designed to show you quick results all while allowing you to get back in tune with your body. When we see the initial results we feel hopeful and it keeps on course. This program was designed to give you back that confidence in your body. To give you back that hope you have lost. RADIATE is an education all about YOU and it empowers you to live the life of your dreams.

  So, feel free to keep doing what you always have. But ask yourself this; am I worth trying something new? Do I truly believe in my worth to live a healthy and radiant life? There are usually two reasons why people don’t make a decision to hire a coach; 1) They can’t afford it. 2) They don’t believe they are worth it. I am here to tell you that you are worth it. You are worth WHATEVER it takes to live the life of your dreams. I spent a lot of money to discover my process and I have NOT ONE REGRET! Do this for you. Do this for all you love. Do this so that once and for all you live the life you deserve from the InsideOut!

Registration is now open but will close Sunday, September 14th at 8am

Hey Everyone!

One recent topic of discussion on the InsideOut Wellness Facebook page was all about mindset. The more I do what I do as a nutrition and lifestyle coach, the more I realize mindset is one of the biggest rocks of them all. When we have a clear and balanced mindset anything is possible. This is not always easy. We humans are really good at judging ourselves and assessing all the things we could have or should have done better. With that said I don’t believe mindset is something that can be fixed per se – I would say it is a practice!

  So, how does one go about creating a mindset practice? Awareness is key.  The more aware we are of our thoughts the better we will be at really understanding the messages we are sending to our body. Here are some normal mindset “trap doors” that many of us fall victim too. I myself can relate to many of them. Not until I became aware of just how consuming these were did I make some serious adjustments in mindset!

  The Judge and Jury mindset! We have no problem judging ourselves all over the place. 24/7 we have something to say about how we could have done something better or different. There is this innate ability we all possess to see the negative in everything we do versus seeing all we have done well in a day. For example if you were to stop right now and look at your week you would have a much easier time picking out the one or two things you shouldn’t have eaten versus all the good quality food you did eat…right?!  This mindset does a fantastic job in keeping us small. It allows us to wallow in our frustration rather than give ourselves the benefit of the doubt and just move on past our mistakes. When we get caught up in this mindset we are unable to learn and grow. In order to move past a mistake you have to allow yourself the opportunity see it for what it was and let it go. You have to practice taking the time to see the good that you are.

NGE – Not Good Enough mindset! At the end of the day it all starts and ends here. We all feel not good enough. There is that little voice inside our head that pulsates just how not good enough we are! I don’t think there is one person in this entire world that feels 100% worthy and I wish I had some magical way of solving this, but unfortunately I don’t. What I will say is this. NGE syndrome is something we all have. We deal with this at different times. Some may feel it most when they have to speak in front people. Others may feel it when they are about to go on an interview. Still others feel it every time they step on a scale. It is an overwhelming feeling and one that can really wreak havoc on our mindset. There is no fix as a lot of this is unconscious but the more aware of it you become the less power you will give it. It is when we feel NGE and we lament on it, this is when it steals our power and makes us live out our NGE-ness.  So sit with it. Recognize when it rears its head. Say out loud to yourself “Oh - yeah, I am feeling those NGE feelings again!” The more you try to fix it the bigger it will become. Practice allowing yourself to see it, own it, and be with it. This will make the ‘fire’ of NGE feelings less and less intense. Yes – this is a practice and one that takes a lot of time, but so worth implementing in your life.

The Pessimist Mindset! This is when you are in that negative state and no matter what you do or what anyone else does – life is just plain horrible. There is no light at the end of the tunnel. There is no hope. You are stuck. But this is a choice. I say to my clients, this is fine for about a day, and then you need to move on. We all have these valleys – it is totally normal but one way or another you have to make the choice to move past it. Ask yourself key questions:

If this never happened to me who would I be? Maybe this struggle will actually make you a better person. More compassionate, more open to life and what it has to offer, and more free to offer life all you have to give! The ‘valleys’ of life suck while there, but they are profound and we should be open to the lessons they teach us.

Worst case scenario – ask yourself when you are in these moments of gloom and doom “Can I survive?” I think you will be amazed that the answer will always be YES. We are stronger than we give ourselves credit for. We have the ability to see the good in a sucky situation; we just need to make the choice to ‘go-there’. This too shall pass!

Perspective – again instead of seeing all the bad that is right in front of you stop and assess. Maybe there is a bigger purpose. Maybe you are being tested to practice giving yourself or someone else the benefit of the doubt. Maybe this will actually change your life for the better. There is always something worse that can be happening, keep this in perspective and take small steps in addressing your current situation. You are the only one with unrealistic expectations of you. Breathe. Take time to keep things in perspective and know this is not the end of the world. You will survive and in fact you may even thrive.

  There are endless “trap doors” when it comes to mindset. Will we ever be strong enough? Skinny enough? Smart enough? Happy enough? Wealthy enough? I think we get pulled down by our unrealistic expectations. We expect perfection but perfection is the enemy of good. There is no such thing as perfect. Mindset is a large component of my 12-Week Radiate program. I find the people who focus on working on their mindset tend to have the greatest success. When we train the brain the body is more willing to transform. We have to remember how powerful our thoughts are, they can empower us to change or they can keep us small and revoke any power we once had. One exercise I do with my clients is discovering who and what is robbing them of their energy and who and what is giving them energy. Social MVP’s versus Social Vampire’s. It is an amazing exercise and it reveals where a lot of their mental energy is going on any given day. These are the things that are bigger than any food plan or exercise regiment. Radiate addresses them all. When we focus on the WHOLE person it is amazing the results we get from the InsideOut!

I look forward to working with you.

All the details are here -----> http://bit.ly/1aRXMpJ We start Monday September 15th!

  In Health & Fitness,

Hey Everyone!

I know it’s been awhile since I have given an update and or a blog…so here it is!

Feed The Lean update: 

I am learning SO MUCH! OMG!!! This was the main goal and I am amazed at just how much has been revealed:

I don’t need nearly as much food as I thought. Now, when I hear people talking about people saying things like “She doesn’t eat enough.” I second-guess my response. Of course there are people who don’t even enough but then there are others who don’t need as much as the next person. Someone who is sedentary most of the day just simply doesn’t need as much food. While if you are someone who is on your feet moving all day, well you may need more than the average person. I am seeing first hand that when I move more I need more, but when I have those rest days and have little to no movement I don’t need as much.

I have been taught this and I coach this all the time – CALORIES MATTER BUT HORMONES MATTER MORE! Again, this journey has proven this to me. When I increase exercise I increase the demand on my body hormonally and calorically. If I push it with an intense workout, release those stress hormones, and burn a ton of fuel I will one, need to bring my body back to hormonal balance and two, increase those calories to help keep my hunger, energy, and cravings in check.  This is really important – you must eat and exercise for hormonal balance so that your calories can do what they are intended to do – fuel your body and your brain.

I have also learned just how far I have come from my calorie counting days. Each week when Dr. Jade Teta leads our webinars he coaches us on different options and one of them, for those who are really struggling, was to count your calories to ensure you are staying within your range. I was like “HELL NO!” In the past this would have been a fantastic green light, but today in my journey I know this is an emotional tornado that I want no part of . (See my blog on Jillfit Help! I'm counting calories and I can't stop )So, the take away here is even when following a “protocol” I have to listen to my body so to sustain or maintain my healthy. Keeping a healthy mindset about my health and fitness journey is key!

  This brings me to something we have been talking about in our Locker Room – my Fat Loss membership club…(Don’t know about this? Check it out here: Fat Loss Locker Room Info) There is a ton of buzz about maintaining the fat loss lifestyle all while enjoying the summer. This is a struggle isn’t it? There is something going on every weekend and even during the week there are those happy hours and catching up with friends and family. The summer is simply that time of year where we really settle into taking in the sun and enjoying life to the fullest.

So, what is the answer? 

Well, this is going to be different for everyone.  But here are some things I suggested to my Locker Room people that I thought would be helpful to all of you:

Practice structured flexibility. I loved when my coach Jill Coleman spoke about this for the first time. It all clicked and made so much sense. Here is how this can be done. Pick and choose your times of what I call “FREE” eating versus conscious eating. If you know you are going to have a jam packed weekend keep the week tight and be sure to get really good weight sessions in on the weekends, ideally 1-2 hours before your party. This will make you most insulin sensitive, as you will deplete most of your glycogen at the muscular level. Make a rule that there is to be no drinking Monday-Thursday. Or maybe for you no bread in your diet during the week but you will enjoy some bread while out to dinner on one weekend night. You structure you life where you can have some which allows you to not want it ALL!

Check yourself – is your hunger, energy, and cravings balanced? If this is the case then maybe this is where your focus should be right now.  Allow yourself a little more freedom during this busier months of summer and just be sure you are not getting crazy highs and lows of hunger, energy, and cravings. If you ARE then you may need to assess where you are going wrong. The worse thing that can happen is your HEC will be out of check and you will be all over the place with nutrition – going from not eating a thing to binging – NOT GOOD. We are always seeking that hormonal balance with our HEC. Also, if you are not exercising reduce your consumption – play with this a bit. Most of the time we are eating out of habit and not the true need for food…assess and adjust.

Then there is the happiness factor. Would you rather work SO HARD to maintain a size two and not enjoy life or are you ok with the size four and enjoying the people, places, and things in your life? When we allow ourselves to get too caught up in numbers we can really lose sight of what truly matters. Hey, listen, this is not a free-for-all we need to do our due diligence but again there is no need for perfection, it is more about finding your balance and what works for your life. I can remember not going to parties or engaging with friends because I was avoiding the food and alcohol trap – trust me, this is no way to live. Balance, moderation, and happiness is and will always be the best approach. Have you tried to discover what this looks like for you? Give it a go – you may be pleasantly surprised that this way of living actually works and you don’t have to work so hard to maintain your beautiful physique ;)

  Fat loss is not fair, life is not fair – but the more expectations we put on our life and our fat loss journey the more unfair it will become. All that gives us is the ability to play the victim…”Poor me, I can’t keep the weight off and be thin like so and so!” or “Why can’t I have beer and chips and not gain weight like so and so?” Remember, you have no idea how hard and diligent “so and so” is all week long.  He/She may have worked really hard to find their balance and they live it and work at it every single day. Stay in your business and embrace your journey and stop looking for fair. Do your best to simply find what works for YOU! You are so worth it – does it take time – YES, it is a quick fix- NO! But the beauty is once you know you know and you can adjust and live from a place of knowledge – so empowering. 

  The bottom line, life is meant to be lived ~ embraced. I understand how stressful it can be when that scale shows a weigh gain, I so get that. But we all need to remind ourselves that life is happening and we can either join in or stay stuck by numbers, calories, workouts, and a negative mindset. It is a journey not a race. Allow yourself some flexibility, seek your balance, and allow happiness to be your guide – we are all so deserving of that!

  Xo