follow your heart 'til it bleeds

I already have one person on the hook and they are Not Having It. Come destroy your friends’ phones with me!

I cannot tell you how obsessed I am with how many of you are doing this you are all my VERY favorite people and I love you so much and I will make sure your friends get your money’s worth 🫡

Also I’ve started an email account as well so any and all international gnome fans are included now!

I got banned from the texting app so I immediately made half a dozen burner accounts and resumed services. I am nothing if not a consummate professional.

Sorry for spamming this so much but this is truly one of the most fun things I’ve done in ages

Probably approaching capacity (until I actually automate things), so get in on this before the service/pricing structure changes! One $10 payment gets you messages in perpetuity for the time being!

Folks I am nearing thirty clients, I am having the time of my life, my “customer satisfaction” surveys I’m sending the targets are coming back overwhelmingly positive so they’re loving it too, AND I’m able to make a big payment on my credit card and my medical payment plan!!! Thank you all for making this happen!!! Still open for more so hit me up if you’re interested!!!

@textilesimp “wait a second, isn’t it 6am for you right now?!” after we spent 3 hours talking….

[ID: Two panel comic titled Writing Is. First panel shows a stickfigure person typing rapidly at their laptop with a smile on their face. The text beside the drawing reads, "10% typing". Second panel shows another stickfigure person staring at their PC monitor. Their hands are folded over their lips and their brows are furrowed. The text beside the drawing reads, "90% staring blankly at the screen" /end ID]

Confession: I have a friend who likes to text me at like 4am when he’s had nightmares or he can’t sleep or he just needs a friend. He thinks I’m always awake at 4am but really I go to bed around 12am and I change his text-tone to the loudest one I have just so it wakes me up when he needs me.

you’re the kind of friend everyone needs

I think that since its been a year since I made this post its time for an update. In the past year I’ve watched this post grow and grow, people I work with have told me about it as “this post I saw the other day” and they have no idea it’s my post. The person I wrote this about has even reblogged it. He is no longer texting me at 4am. Not because we no longer speak but because the nightmares have stopped. He and I both are in a much better place. Most often the only times he’s waking me up at 4am is when he’s pulling me closer to him while we sleep. He’s more than a friend now and I’m forever thankful to have him. Everyone messaged me saying he was lucky to have me but I think I was just as lucky to have him and I would do it all over.

That context definitely puts a new spin on the phrase, though. Like, that's not expressing a normal kind of happy. That's expressing "I'm not currently experiencing gut churning legitimate fear for my life, which is nice"

Instead of making up shitty racist headcanons about Miles shoplifting join me in headcanoning him picking up ballet because he thought Gwen being a ballerina was super neat and it would help him in his spiderman job

Spider strength he can’t control + Lifts = Hilarity

Miles, muttering to himself: do not yeet the ballerina. do NOT yeet the ballerina

This is wonderful

This keeps getting better!

At the end of character creation, have every player roll a d100 for “plot reasons”. When the game begins, reveal that the result is how many miles in the air the characters start the campaign at.

I have been informed that the edge of space is 50-62 miles off the ground, depending on which measurement you use. In light of this new information, I will not be amending the post in any way.

HEY FUN FACT: pole dancing is known as something strippers do because strippers invented it. And that’s okay! It’s okay to have respect for strippers and the hard work they put into what they do! Let’s stop trying to take the stripper part out of pole dancing so upperclass white girls can do it without being ~stigmatized~ because god forbid women be sexual.

Seriously, ballet was originally invented by prostitutes, and now look, it’s a fine art with no sexual stigma. Respect art in whatever form it comes.

pole dancing is beautiful.

Reblogging for the bold part.

"I know your school didn't teach you how to write fanfic-" I know this is something said in response to Americans whining about their education system in response to racism, but my school English class actually did have us write an epilogue to a book we were reading as an assignment, so in a way my school did teach me how to write fanfic. I have no point to make with this point and I don't care to i just wanted to share a tidbit about my life

In grade 8, we had to rewrite the end of Lord of the Flies, and it was awesome. I can't remember the exact details, but I went with murder/suicide. One of the things the teacher talked about was trying to match the writing style, characters, and themes of the book. So yes, school did teach me to write fanfic!