I am a person (most of the time)

there’s sixteen Colorado counties that their most searched was “wolf furry”, plus thirty-odd counties (not counting either Arapahoe or any of the ones marked here as “Insufficient Data”) which may well have had plenty of searches for “wolf furry”, just fewer than for whatever they’re labeled here

and “skunk furry” searches in Arapahoe County outnumbered “wolf furry” searches in the entire state of Colorado

i got inspired by antique furniture -> decided to try and make a wooden doll.

What a red flag actually means: something here is an indicator of a potential problem (but might be fine with a reasonable explanation)

What people have now decided it means: abuse

I've lost count of the number of times I've now had to read variants of "My partner takes all my money and gives me back an allowance because he says it's a man's job to control finances, but he's racking up gambling debts" being met with "Wow this man is a walking red flag" no Becky that is abuse. That is not an indicator. He is an abuser. Call the police. We have lost the concept of a proxy: a thing that indicates a more important thing. And it's relevant to this conversation because I'm actually going to go out on a limb here:

With the obvious exception of paedophilia, age gaps themselves aren't a problem at all - they are a proxy for the actual harmful phenomenon. Hea me out, let me explain

The reason we don't like age gaps is because of the implied power dynamic. If one partner, usually male, is older than other - particularly if the other is still quite young - the risk is that what we're seeing is a worldly wise predator who is exploiting the lack of life experience of a young beautiful woman by mentally abusing her until she's no longer young and pretty enough to satisfy, at which point he'll move on to the next. There have been enough examples of this in human history. It's unfortunately not an uncommon pattern. Genders can also be diverse in this scenario

We can't necessarily see that dynamic from the outside. But we CAN see an inherent element of it: the ages of the people involved. So age becomes a proxy for the abuse. And, hey, it's often correct.

But here's the thing: the ages themselves are not causing harm.

The power dynamic is. The abuse is.

Plenty of age gap relationships are loving, healthy and steadfast. Two people met and genuinely fell in love regardless of the outer packaging, and have a relationship with all the highs and lows and challenges and rewards as any more traditional pairing. This happens all the time

Is the age gap a red flag? Sure! It indicates a potential issue.

Is it inherently abusive? Absolutely fucking not.

OP is right - we need to stop focusing just on the numbers and twisting the facts to fit by infantilising the younger partners, and start focusing on the actual harms. The DiCaprio Pattern of only dating under 24s repeatedly is itself a proxy, too, actually - but a much stronger one than the simple presence of an age gap.

(Even so, in DiCaprio's case, until any of his former partners come forward and describe him as abusive, actually, even that is up in the air - my personal interpretation, given how strong a pattern it is, is that he's a loser who views women as trophies (consciously or not). If any have come forward and I don't know about it, of course, fair enough. But those women were adults capable of making their own decisions, even if they might later come to regret it. And regretting poor decisions is part of life! That's how it goes, particularly with relationships. As long as they weren't abused, there's no biggie. And just as he was looking for young-and-beautiful, there's no way they weren't, on some level, looking for rich-and-famous; it goes both ways.)

Also, another element of this: I think a lot of modern extreme puritan discourse on this is actually ironically down to the age of those taking part. Up until your late 20s, ten years is actually a huge span of time to you, because in your own life you were in a completely different developmental phase ten years ago (teenager), and a completely different phase again ten years before that (child). That skews your sense of what a ten-year gap means. Whereas once you're in your 30s and beyond, ten years is like. Yeah I was an adult ten years ago, and I still am now. That's two adults. Who cares.

Here's how it works:

Someone starts a fire at an army draft office.

The cops look through their files for anyone who might be in the political orbit of someone who'd want to do that. People picked up at protests, for drug charges, vandalism, anyone who is already on their radar. They look into their known associates, anyone they live with, anyone they drink with.

Then they start subpoenaing these people for a grand jury summons. They give you immunity (but only for the matter of the grand jury!) so that you can't exercise the fifth amendment against self incrimination. If you say nothing, they can imprison you almost indefinitely for contempt of court. If they catch you in a lie, that's criminal perjury.

They'll ask you for information on everyone you know. Obviously they'll ask about their involvement in any crimes, but they're casting a wide net. Who knows who, where do they hang out, who talked to who about what and when. They'll ask you to spill interpersonal stuff, whether anyone is cheating on someone, whether people have substance abuse problems or embarrassing personal issues, if anyone is closeted, anything they consider dirt. Anyone you name is gonna get subpoenaed and they'll be asked for all this information on everyone they know, including you, and although you have immunity from your own testimony, you don't get immunity from each others.

Assuming you didn't personally do anything they can prosecute you for in the matter of the grand jury, they'll go after you based on what they know. The cops will arrest you on any little thing they have suspicion of, even if they know they can't prosecute you, just so that they can keep you in jail for a few days while you miss two shifts at work and your friends have to scramble to raise bail. They'll leak any embarrassing info that comes out, to your boss or your family or even the local press. Whatever they can do to make your life a little harder.

They will lean fucking hard on anyone who is involved in the scene but had second thoughts or felt like they were dragged into something they never wanted to do in the first place by their friends. The cops will say 'do you want to get your life ruined by people who did something stupid over something you barely even believe in' and sometimes that's a very compelling argument! If people have dependents or kids who they think won't be looked after if they go to prison, there's a lot of pressure to cooperate.

It's important to note two things:

1) Based on the ratio of actual prison sentences to maximum possible sentences for the charges, it's better for people not to cooperate with the jury both individually and as a group. People who talk still get sentenced, with the information they helped provide.

*faint shuffling noises*

Damian: ...like this?

Faint male voice: you gotta flick your wrist a little more,

Damian: oh- like that?

Faint male voice: there you go,

*connecting ping*

Tim: yo, Robin, you on your own tonight? i'm bored, come get waffles with me.

Damian: uh- sure, can Clarance come?

Tim: if that's the name of another mutant animal you're trying to tame, no.

Damian: no, the magician. say hi to Red Robin, Clarance.

Faint male voice: oh- uh, *awkward throat clear* um, hi, Red Robin.

Tim: wait wait wait- are you with that stage magician Hood has a vendetta against? the one he thinks is a meta because he can't figure out how he does his card tricks?

Damian: yeah. Hood has dragged him into our shit so much we've gotten to know each other.

*silence*

Tim: so you guys just... hang out? the two of you?

Damian: he's a decent guy when you get to know him. he volunteers at one of the animal shelters in the Narrows.

Tim: you've made friends with a civilian that Hood calls his 'greatest enemy'?

Damian, tired: Hood has about twelve civilian 'greatest enemies'. Clarance is fine, Hood just can't stand the fact that he has honour and wont snitch on how he does his tricks.

Faint male voice: yeah- i really don't understand why he keeps buying tickets to my shows if he knows he doesn't like the magic. like, that's the whole point...

Damian, without missing a beat: his version of self harm.

Tim: *abrupt snort*

Faint male voice: well he keeps tying me up and talking about needing to 'register me' with some sort of bat-laptop or something. maybe if you just register me like he says, then he'll feel better about me?

Tim, amused: oh my god, no, why is this man actually really sweet?

Damian: no, Clarance, Hood makes that up. we don't 'register' metas unless they're active rogues terrorising the city on a monthly basis. he just likes to spout bullshit when he's annoyed.

Faint male voice: oh...

Damian: worry not, he will get over himself in a few months when somebody else pisses him off and he makes enemies with them. for now, would you like to join me and Red Robin for waffles?

Faint male voice: uh... i mean, if Red Robin is ok with it then i guess i am kinda hungry?

Tim: i'll meet you at the usual place. the fuck do you guys even do when you hang out together?

Damian: oh, i'm making him teach me his card tricks so i can use them on Hood whenever he pisses me off.

*silence*

Tim, choking up: god- man, Robin, i fucking love you.

Ok I put this on FB but it can't hurt to put here too. We need help with Fantine!

Dog location: Northeast Georgia, just outside metro Atlanta and near the NC/TN/SC borders. TL;DR: Really sweet stray dog has ringworm; current foster is immune compromised; need someone to help by housing her for the duration of her treatment. Only need a short-term foster (approximately a month is the estimate for ringworm treatment? up to six weeks, I guess) and we can help find a permanent placement for her when her treatment is complete.

Details: Fantine is a stray dog we have been fostering for about the last month, she has a wonderful temperament (very sweet and trusting with people, quite resilient, friendly to all the dogs she has met) and is about a year and a half old. She has had all her vaccines and flea/tick/heartworm treatment and was spayed almost three weeks ago. and is healing up from it really well.

She's also ringworm positive, and I have some serious immune-related health conditions. The vet who diagnosed her was worried about her staying in the house with me even though she has been in quarantined in the laundry room and we are being very cautious about biosecurity.

Pip unfortunately does not have a working immune system, and as someone who dealt with a dog with ringworm and an immunodeficiency myself, I know what a nightmare that can be. Pip has always gone above and beyond for its dogs, but it cannot be expected to sacrifice its health in this case, although it already has done so much!

If any of my followers are able to foster Fantine, please reach out to Pip!

freaky franmaya fantasies part two

YES i love it when adrian is way bigger than rocky uh here's my take on rocky and adrian