hi voyeur

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

Atsuya's disposition often reads as removed, cold, or unenthusiastic but I like to think of this in two ways: it's a defense mechanism and his job (unfortunately tied to his entire life) is conducive to him acting this way.

All of that to say he's likely the exact opposite one-on-one. Especially when he's completely disarmed by the comfort of his partner— he's the type to cradle and cuddle you, shower you in little pecks, gently move strands of hair out the way to get a better view of your face, and bury his face into your neck to breathe more of you in... You might have to kick him off of you to grab a towel before he falls asleep though.

B = Body part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

For him, it’s his forearms. He’s grateful that they’re used to bearing a lot of weight and can still exert a good amount of strength. It also gives him a little endorphin rush to feel the palm of your hands grip onto his arms for leverage and support.

His favorite part of you is a 50/50 split between your breasts and the inner plush of your thighs. The sensation of rubbing against, gripping onto, pinching, and biting the delicate skin excites him, mostly because he knows that he can always get a rise out of you from those areas. Truly he's indecisive, but he knows that the soft warmth feels much better in his grasp than the stiff, weighty tsuka (the main source of the callouses on his fingertips) he's used to reaching for.

C = Cum (What it says on the tin...)

I mean there isn't anything really special about his cum (at least he thinks), but he does love seeing it streaked across your face, glistening in your mouth, running along your chin and down your neck. Guilty pleasure is seeing it in your hair, though he sympathizes with how annoying that can be to deal with so he tries to avoid it.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He absolutely loves when you boss him around. Not that he doesn't already listen to you or that he'd be combative, but he really can't help it if his pants feel just a little tighter every time you tell him what he "needs" to do or even get a little cross with him. Oof... and you potentially praising him for doing something right? Definitely a submissive side he has yet to unpack or even connect the behavior with, though he can totally acknowledge that you taking the reins gives him a chance to step back from the big brother/instructor role for once.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

Decently experienced and while he wouldn't divulge his past escapades with you (unless you asked), you can definitely feel the experience in how he touches you. Attentive and confident in how his hands direct your body.

F = Favorite Position (This goes without saying.)

Indecisive on this as well but he takes deep pleasure in seeing you take control. If he had to list his favorite three, it would be cowgirl, reverse cowgirl, and missionary at the very top.

I mean, he loves seeing you on top but he's a traditionalist and, efficiency-wise, he can reach where you need him most at a faster and harder pace with you under him. Missionary is also the easiest position for him to hold your cheeks between his hand to keep your focus on him.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

Again, someone who seems more serious than not. But when he's comfortable and in a non-life threatening situation between the legs of his lover, a tender side of Atsuya shows. Of course, it takes a bit of time... multiple sessions and hours really... of cutting through his reserved attitude, but after a while you find that both of your kisses, moans, and deep, vulnerable sighs are bookended by smiles and giggles. Maybe someone pulled a funny face or decided to give up prematurely on a strenuous position. Maybe you both have a moment of realization that the perfect person is fucking you and you can't help but laugh at your luck.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

I have a personal soft-spot for this so walk with me a bit... chest, arms, legs... perfect sprinkle of hair... enough to give a very mature (ugh... dilf-esque) compliment to the toned muscles underneath. A very charming, dark happy trail dusts his lower abs and leads to a nicely trimmed yet fuller tuft of hair above his dick.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…) 

Recurring theme here... he's a secret sweetheart. Day-to-day and outside of a dangerous situation, he's a particularly dedicated, caring, and thoughtful person. There's still a reserved quality to how romantic he is PDA-wise. Hand-holding is fine, the occasional well-timed kiss— ideally away from students— is fine, he just prefers to be more chivalrous (acts of service) than overtly affectionate (touch). He's more-so worried about giving himself the ick from being a bit too forward and all over you in public (and in-turn giving you the ick.)

But... when he is all over you, the body worship makes you feel like the only person on earth. It's like he has an innate sense of how to nonverbally rectify anything you may have misread about his feelings for you (from a mix of cultivated experience and natural chemistry). Because he's constantly in minor disbelief about how you want him as much as he wants you, in bed he's very communicative, quick to learn all of your trigger points, and loves to hand out compliments:

"Mm... I remember. That spot's really sensitive... can I kiss you there?"

"Comfortable? Feel like my hands were made for holding you here..."

"Seriously don't get how someone can be as perfect as you..."

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

Oh boy... rare now since he's not away from you too often. I think prior to shooting his shot with you he had a major moment of self-discovery where you slowly became the main subject of his spank-bank.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Something about Atsuya makes me think that he's generally vanilla but would be really into subtle power-play. Not committed to the full dom/sub relationship or BDSM as a practice, but loves a little touch of friendly roughness. A hand to his (or your) throat, hair tugging, a few loving slaps, maybe even a little spit-play.

I think shibari/kinbaku would be the furthest he'd go. He respects the beauty of it, the amount of trust and patience it takes to do it right, the learning process, and how much you look like you need him by the end.

L = Location (Favorite places to do the do)

Traditionalist... nothing can beat a bedroom. Though the shower is nice... keeping you from slipping gives him a great opportunity to lift. The kitchen table is great too since it offers the perfect leverage. The couch offers the same thing too for a few different positions. Well... I guess as long as it's at home...

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

Your smile. It’s really that simple. Seeing you express any amount of joy, let alone share it with him fills him with a type of yearning that he can’t really verbalize. It just makes him want to be as close to you as possible.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Teacher kink... would indulge if you really enjoyed it but reminds him entirely too much of work 😭

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

He enjoys giving and isn't bad at it by any means but you swear something very repressed and primal unveils itself when he locks eyes with you on your knees, mouth open, and doe-eyed. He tries to be gentle about it at least.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

This can vary since he enjoys almost any pace as long as it's with you. With setting a pace he really keeps an eye out for what he thinks you'd prefer at the moment. I think there's always a point where he can't hold back but he strategizes around and prioritizes getting you off... depends on how much time you both have. But hey, if the pace happens to start out needy and desperate...

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

Not against a quickie, but as mentioned, defers to your mood on how to proceed. For him, the most likely scenario of needing a quickie (because he’d prefer to just be late or cancel whatever was cutting into your time) would be on campus; a taboo that he hates to admit actually excites him.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

He's willing to experiment with you and anyone he's had an extended relationship with, but frankly speaking the limits of his own risk-taking imagination run fairly short (apart from speculating on what places you two could get away with hooking up.) But if you can show him something new, he's likely game (though, nothing super bloody or violent... just not his thing.)

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

He blames it on getting older but, normally, twice in one go is maybe the best he can do. Definitely exceptions to this... say someone feels particularly giving, there's a special occasion (anniversaries, birthdays, coming back from an assignment, a nice date night), or maybe you two lucked out and have a whole weekend, unbusy and unbothered, together.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

He seems like a very simple, no-frills guy. But if you have any favorites to bring to the table, that'd likely pique his interest.

U = Unfair (How much they like to tease)

Atsuya aims to please so his teasing (just light petting, groping, and sweet whispers) is typically relegated to foreplay. Beyond this, he likes to give you very simple, sometimes curt, directions to follow while he’s fucking you. He doesn’t fully restrict you (most of the time) or prevent you from chasing your high but he likes to put small roadblocks and rules to bargain on in your way:

“Hey, look at me. Don’t touch. I’ll do it if you look at me. Mmhmm… keep your eyes here. Good... Feel good? That what you wanted?”

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

Not loud, per-say, but does have a habit of moaning into your mouth, against your ear, or just against your body in general. Maybe he’s a little too shy to moan aloud and feels safer relinquishing these rare sounds to you only.

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

Atsuya definitely has an oral fixation. He deeply misses smoking– especially a post-sex cigarette– but he doesn’t mind if you indulge. Actually, he really looks forward to seeing you have one. Over the years he’s wisened up to the fact that smoke deteriorates the body but he still finds something enticing about the act of sucking on death itself. Especially the way you do it (of course, he does want you to live a long, prosperous life…)

You always offer him a hit but he’s principled enough to look and not touch… he also keeps a few candies in a couple of different drawers around the house, so he’s covered. On the more current end of his oral fixation, he loves sharing lollipops with you. Even better when you steal a kiss with the candy caught between both your lips.

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

Tanned shaft (that he loves feeling you squeeze against), darker pink tip (that he loves feeling you suck on), wonderful shape with a few prominent veins and an upward tilt. Girth-y and not unbearably long, but even when he's not hard there's a decent chub.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

He would say he has a very unremarkably normal libido though you’d say otherwise. Again, he tries to reel back on PDA but when you’re both lounging around, cooking, doing chores around the house, getting dressed, and other regular daily activities he can get quite handsy and heart-eyed.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Violet with dying rays of orange and pink melted into the growing spread of navy sky. The moon always seemed to look brighter up north.

So many mundane blessings clicked for you in moments like these. The daily changes in the sky, the gentle crumble and cushion of leaves beneath your sore soles, an intact spine... it all felt so nice. Normal miracles.

Lucky, some would say. You were lucky to experience those blessings.

"Ah, so you're headed to Hiraizumi?" "Yeah well, nearby. There've been quite a few disappearances near the Satetsu river. I've never been but it seems fairly quiet there otherwise." "It's pretty... beautiful really. But you'll want to be careful up there. Lots of concentrated energy." "Of course. I'm looking forward to it." "Try not to take offense to this, but who'll be going with you? I don't imagine they'd send anyone near there alone unless it was Gojo." "Well, I'll be with Nanami... we've worked together a couple of times. I think we get along just fine. Should go fine." "Aren't you lucky..." "Mmm." "Seriously though, be careful. For them to assign a grade 1 and semi grade 1 on a single assignment. Sounds like they don't even know how big of a problem it really could be." "Right... you sure you don't wanna swap places with me, Kusakabe?" "Don't make me laugh. Try to come back in one piece."

Last week's conversation played in your head while you gradually retreated from the wilderness toward the nearest town. The replay was a welcomed distraction from the internal and external bruises that slowed your pace. It also took away from the freshly-made replay of you nearly being split into pieces by the wickedly sharp appendages of the curse you faced not even an hour before.

"Nanami?" "...Yes?" "Thank you... for watching my back there."

Met with silence, not that you were expecting much. An expression of gratitude is a hard conversation point for someone unenthused to relish in their own good deeds. Because he was there, your near-fate was returned to its sender. As planned, the 7:3 Sorcerer's dull blade tore apart the sickened flesh that held the curse together. No rumination of the act on his part out of politeness, sure, but more so out of professionalism.

His position, tried and true, was simple: what kind of sorcerer would he be if he stood by and allowed you to be decapitated by a curse mere feet away from him?

'I need to work on my reaction time...' Who doesn't? You're at the best that you've known yourself at. 'I'm sorry for being a burden...' Fuck no. That doesn't make sense and it sounds pathetic.

Thoughts trailed off as your steps continued. 'Just leave it...' A breeze slapped against your cheeks and your adrenaline continued to fall.

Even now, the silent air between you both was not uncomfortable. Though, it never usually was. Besides, many sorcerers pray for minutes of peace to grow into hours, days, and months. Most find the time after intense combat to be the purest form of peace; from one extreme to its polar opposite in seconds. Colors, light, scents, and temperature all came through so much clearer... more precise in those after moments.

Auras too... and his captivated you. It had for so, so long, but in the duration of your relationship you had rarely seen this particular quick swell, bright glow, and slow decompression. Witnessing it made you grateful.

Strong. By nature and nurture, his strength was hardwired into his body, mind, and soul. It struck a perfect balance with his kindness, something unwavering that you witnessed the moment you ran into him years ago (literally, by immaculate chance) as a salary man.

Kindness and strength, just two of his many traits that defined the humanity you adored. Steady in your meeting, brief union, and eventual break. At every stage, it was never difficult to find Nanami admirable.

“There’s no way they properly considered the risk of this assignment."

What were you two talking about again? Oh—

"Yeah. It's odd that they sent us both." "It’s… a disheartening situation.” "..."

You sincerely hoped it wasn't becau—

"...Not because of you..." "Oh, I... I understand."

Of course you understood, it came with your own strength. But surely he could've handled that curse without yo—

"Thank you for your hard work. You created a wide opening for me to assist. I'm not sure I would've been able to do this without you." "...Mm. No problem... me either. I certainly couldn't have done this alone."

Your statement was obvious, as you were covered in far more wounds and marks compared to your coworker. You may have landed more blows against the curse, but he certainly managed to move efficiently and avoid the brunt of what you got.

"Are you feeling faint?" “No… I’m okay. Thanks.”

Maybe faint wasn’t the proper word, but the goosebumps on your skin made it harder to move. Colors, temperature, and that growing navy sky felt colder and colder. Terrible shame that the nearest town was still a 30 minute hike... and that the nearest auxiliary manager was another 20 minutes away.

“Are you sure?” “…Yeah… I’m just a little chilly…”

In a singular, swift motion, the weight of Nanami’s blazer comfortably swallowed your shoulders. Without hesitation, he had removed the layer for your benefit.

“Your adrenaline is dropping.” “T-thank you… thanks... but so is yours. Aren’t you cold?” “My injuries are minor and we don’t have long to go.” “Okay… well... let me know if you want this back at any point.” “I’ll be fine.”

If Nanami was anything, he was an excellent coworker. A professional and selfless team player in every sense. The evening grew cooler and despite the donated layer, the chill sank into your exposed skin and down your bones. 15 more minutes, huh?

"Do you think you can make it for the next-" "Next 15 minutes? Y-yeah, I think so." "..."

You figured, at least until his question made your knees buckle. His ever watchful eyes took in your attempt to conceal a growing limp. Did this curse really fuck you up that bad?

"Hold on."

Nanami placed a firm hand on your shoulder prompting you to pause and repositioned the harness that holstered his weapon from his back to his shoulder.

"If you're comfortable with this, I'll carry you until we reach town. Please don't feel indebted to me, I don't want your injuries to worsen from oversight." "I... Nanami..."

God. First, his coat. Now, his back. What more could he give?

He certainly wasn't being chivalrous to prove a point... was he? What point would he even be making?

Well... how long were you going to make him wait...?

"I don't mean to pressure you..."

Hazel eyes, bare of his glasses, were kind and waiting for your answer. A familiar air of disarming patience carved the cold air between you. Were his eyes always this way when looking towards you? Even now?

"N-no. No, it's... I..."

Deep breath... okay.

"Thank you. Thanks... I really appreciate that." "Okay. Just try not to lean back, I might lose my balance."

He wouldn't, you both knew, but the warning put you at ease. You smiled, nearly drawing out a teasing quip in response. As gently and respectfully as possible, you made your way onto Nanami's back. Your body was pressed flatly against the broad, dense surface of his. With sturdy arms roped around the plush of your thighs that rested on both sides of his waist, he resumed a slower pace.

The bob of his walk complimented the steady rhythm of his heart, both of which reverberated through your own chest making you wish you could sink into him. The newfound warmth soothed the growing aches and you slipped into sleep. No matter how hard you tried, your body could never forget the comfort that his brought you.

"Maybe this isn't a good idea..." "...Sure." I guess the illusion of this fantasy had finally caught up to you two. Five months of willingly bending your own limits, testing the line of professionalism and personal boundaries. Neither of you would've ever sought out another sorcerer as a long-term partner. Sort of stupid to think that indulging in each other carnally would be a sustainable form of healing. With this, there was no dating. No tender moments in public or meeting family. And no telling coworkers... absolutely not. The closest semblance to a normal partnership was the rare mission assigned together. The ones you both went on afar from Tokyo, apart from the blood and guts, felt a bit like little vacations. But even if his hands fell onto and held your waist a certain way. Or if his teeth tugged your bottom lip as his to claim. Even with the smiles that bookended your meetings of intimately learning the other's weaknesses. This was not that kind of relationship. "I don't regret where we are. But being like this might do more harm than good longterm." What an incredibly stupid conversation to have in bed. And what a crazy thing for him to say with his lips still pressed to your neck. "Kento... I don't think we were planning on doing this forever, right?" So why do this in the first place? Maybe he doesn't need a friend (is that what you are?) like you anymore. The sex, itself, was never the problem. If it was, the conversation wouldn't have followed your pleads for him to consume every part of you (and him fulfilling every request.) Pillow talk and waxing poetic about alternative lives or separate futures would eventually run dry. Neither person wanted to escalate beyond where you two comfortably were. Blissfully uncoupled. And as cathartic as it proved, unpacking core memories and histories as a non-couple was... very intimate for the type of relationship you agreed to share. But sometimes you figured you could do this... it all... forever, at lest with him. Not that forever was particularly long for the average career sorcerer anyway. Your own trauma was similar to his own formative heartbreaks, both spoken about in bits and pieces scattered across your time together. Compassion and the embracing calm of your bedroom beckoned Nanami's largely regulated vulnerability. Five months of unlocking each other to see and be seen, if only for a few hours. Maybe what you both really needed was a good therapist? "Hey... Kento?" "Yes?" "Do you still want to work together?" "Of course... but I think we'll need distance." "Of course. Yeah... ok. Ok... just don't treat me like a stranger." "I never will."

Of course. Responsibility was never solely about physical strength, but about balancing the variables: endurance, intuition, experience, maybe even spite at times… but, most importantly, care. And he was always so responsible.

A responsible, capable, and careful man would do what he could to protect you. How cruel would it be for him to suddenly change when your heart had been so close to his, then and now? Of course a responsible man would carry you when you were down and he'd even let you dampen his shoulder with your tears, awake or not. Naturally, he'd let you grieve what should have been let go.

For the sake of work, sanity, and your friendship.