Improbable Fiction

- The streets in Pompeii have sidewalks sometimes a meter higher than the road, with stepping stones to hop across as “crosswalks.” I’d seen some photos before. The book points out that, duh, Pompeii had no underground drainage, was built on a fairly steep incline, and the roads were more or less drainage systems and water channels in the rain.

- Unlike today, where “dining out” is expensive and considered wasteful on a budget, most people in Pompeii straight up didn’t have kitchens. You had to eat out if you were poor; only the wealthy could afford to eat at home.

- Most importantly, and I can’t believe in all the pop culture of Pompeii this had never clicked for me: Pompeii had a population between 6-35,000 people. Perhaps 2,000 died in the volcano. Contemporary sources talk about the bay being full of fleeing ships. Most people got the hell out when the eruption started. The number who died are still a lot, and it’s still gruesome and morbid, but it’s not “an entire town and everyone in it.” This also makes it difficult for archeologists, apparently (and logically): those who remained weren’t acting “normally,” they were sheltering or fleeing a volcano. One famous example is a wealthy woman covered in jewelry found in the bedroom in the glaridator barracks. Scandal! She must have been having an affair and had it immortalized in ash! The book points out that 17 other people and several dogs were also crowded in that one small room: far more likely, they were all trying to shelter together. Another example: Houses are weirdly devoid of furniture, and archeologists find objects in odd places. (Gardening supplies in a formal dining room, for example.) But then you remember that there were several hours of people evacuating, packing their belongings, loading up carts and getting out… maybe the gardening supplies were brought to the dining room to be packed and abandoned, instead of some deeper esoteric meaning. The book argues that this all makes it much harder to get an accurate read on normal life in a Roman town, because while Pompeii is a brilliant snapshot, it’s actually a snapshot of a town undergoing major evacuation and disaster, not an average day.

“You Bastard”

“Moist von Lipwig”

“Cut me own throat dibbler”

“Medium Dave”

“Carrot Ironfoundersson”

Bob Strong-In-The-Arm

Legitimate First

Rob Anybody

Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery Pulsifer

No’-As-Big-As-Medium-Jock-But-Bigger-Than-Wee-Jock-Jock

Mightily Oats

Constable Visit-The-Infidel-With-Explanatory-Pamphlets

Nigel The Destroyer

Windle Poons

And last and definitely worst:

Fortnight the Friday knight (because he’s fought you, tonight)

Bloody stupid Johnson

Awfully wee billy big chin

Dangerous Beans

Snibril

Pismire

Brocando

Mrs Cake

Nobby Nobbs

Cheery Littlebottom

Mustrum Ridcully

Letice Earwig

71 hour Ahmed

Jonathan Teatime (pronounced “Teh-ah-tim-eh” and don’t you dare forget it)

Findthee Swing

Lupine Wonse

Cosmo Lavish

Reacher Gilt

Andy Shank

It’s fun to stay at the Y M M M!

It’s fun to stay at the Y M M M~ee~ay~

They have ONE thing.

They have NO Man!

You can Go There!

WhyYy Y yy Y y—

Stay at the Y M M M!

“Well,” said Alice, “these are a dreadfully strange assortment of objects!”

“They all symbolize different aspects of Our Lord’s martyrdom,” said the Fisher King, casting a line into his teacup.

“Indeed. I am sure everything symbolizes something else, for if everything was only itself I should be very confused. Might I ask what the point of the bleeding lance is?”

Alice regretted asking the question as soon as she had done so, for she saw the pun that would likely be made about the word point. Instead, however, the room erupted in applause and shouts of “The Grail! She has achieved the Grail!”

“Which shall you choose?” asked the guardian. “The underwater bridge or the sword bridge?”

“Both sound dreadful,” said Alice. “I think I’ll just float the cart across.”

The guardian sputtered so hard his helmet broke.

“You cannot ride in a cart to rescue a queen!”

“I don’t see why not,” said Alice, growing cross. “It can’t be worse than abducting a queen.”

“Oh, much worse! For to abduct a Queen is wicked but heard of, while to save he on a cart is virtuous and unheard of.”

“Certainly not!” said Alice.  “For if you can survive such a blow, it would be quite unfair to me, and if you cannot, then I will have killed a man over a silly game!”

“Silly games are the most important thing in the world,” said the Green Knight, “for it is after them that we judge honor.”

given how Americanized this site is, it’s important to celebrate all our countries and nationalities - with all their quirks and vices and ridiculousness, and all that might seem strange to outsiders.

1. favourite place in your country?

2. do you prefer spending your holidays in your country or travel abroad?

3. does your country have access to sea?

4. favourite dish specific for your country?

5. favourite song in your native language?

6. most hated song in your native language?

7. three words from your native language that you like the most?

8. do you get confused with other nationalities? if so, which ones and by whom?

9. which of your neighbouring countries would you like to visit most/know best?

10. most enjoyable swear word in your native language?

11. favourite native writer/poet?

12. what do you think about English translations of your favourite native prose/poem?

13. does your country (or family) have any specific superstitions or traditions that might seem strange to outsiders?

14. do you enjoy your country’s cinema and/or TV?

15. a saying, joke, or hermetic meme that only people from your country will get?

16. which stereotype about your country you hate the most and which one you somewhat agree with?

17. are you interested in your country’s history?

18. do you speak with a dialect of your native language?

19. do you like your country’s flag and/or emblem? what about the national anthem?

20. which sport is The Sport in your country?

21. if you could send two things from your country into space, what would they be?

22. what makes you proud about your country? what makes you ashamed?

23. which alcoholic beverage is the favoured one in your country?

24. what other nation is joked about most often in your country?

25. would you like to come from another place, be born in another country?

26. does your nationality get portrayed in Hollywood/American media? what do you think about the portrayal?

27. favourite national celebrity?

28. does your country have a lot of lakes, mountains, rivers? do you have favourites?

29. does your region/city have a beef with another place in your country?

Ursula K. Le Guin on being a man – the finest, sharpest thing I’ve read in ages 

I was tagged by @thnks-fr-th-fndms 

Rules: put your music library on shuffle and list the first ten songs that come on then tag 20 other people to do it.

1) Almost Here // Brian McFadden ft. Delta Goodrem

2) Demons // Imagine Dragons

3) Runnin’ // Adam Lambert

4) Beautiful Word // Coldplay

5) Drown // Bring Me The Horizon

6) Can’t Help Falling in Love // Elvis Presley

7) Lovely Bones // Dead and Divine

8) The Great Divide // Rebecca Black

9) Young Volcanoes // Fall Out Boy

10) Believer // Imagine Dragons

Exception // Ana Johnsson

The Servant King // Graham Kendrick

Defying Gravity // [Wicked]

Past 3 O’Clock // George Ratcliffe Woodward

Wicked Girls //  Seanan McGuire

And I Saw A New Heaven And A New Earth

We Live // Superchick

Highway Five // Marian Call

The Gambler // Kenny Rogers

Much Ado About Nothing reading Part II // @socialshakespeare

Hotel California // Eagles

Whistle While You Wait // Marian Call

Easter // Patti Smith

Love Fool // The Cardigans

Shake It Off (Trap Remix) // Taylor Swift (ish)

1996 // The Wombats

Judy Blume // Amanda Palmer