Visit Beautiful [INSERT.TOWN.HERE]

A sick wizard castle with a nondescript van painted on the side. A gothy pin-up girl with the portrait of a random trucker tattooed on her thigh. A bathroom-themed beach vacation. A beautiful brightly coloured cupcake that tastes like soap.

Jesus with a portrait of my grandma on his wall. A scimitar-wielding fantasy protagonist reading about the adventures of sixth-grader Kelsey. A National Park with a framed print of somebody’s living room.

thin veil today isnt it

do not try contacting me i have blocked you on my crystal ball

Suspect is fleeing on foot. Short round male, last seen in a purple robe and jeweled crown. Armed with a large turkey leg and a goblet of wine.

wirelessly refilling a bottle of soy sauce

one time at a funeral i panicked and said the first drink i could think of and the bartender made me the pina colada With all the fixings all the rims all the bells and whistles i didnt even ask imagine youre at a funeral and the person besides you is drinking a pina colada with whip cream as tall as the drink with a cherry and an umbrella, thats what happened to me