i think about how hard + how exhilarating it is to be in a new relationship where you are just figuring out all the ways in which you and your partner can be both fun + difficult to live with, when you have been living alone for years and have your routines and preferences and suddenly thereâs a MAN there who also has his own routines and preferences, and you have to figure out this new dynamic together, and how not to be mad all the time because you are in love, and also maybe youâre a repressed hockey player whoâs never even been to a restaurant with your new boyfriend because thatâs just how the cheese of life melts, so everything is new new and scary scary, and also youâre famous, and also youâre one of the first out couples in a famously homophobic high-pressure environment, and there is immense pressure to be role models of a perfect happy gay life, but privately youâre like why wonât this man ever close a fucking DRAWER IN THE KITCHEN, so even when youâre annoyed (which happens, even in a healthy relationship, not that you know this yet!) you have to pretend youâre not in public because the world is rabid and hungry for you to fail, and also youâve actually never been in a long term relationship before and you are maybe realizing you also have issues, and like, maybe he never closes drawers but you also clean up his water glasses before heâs done with them and that annoys him too, and also, maybe you have issus with food and scheduling that you are projecting onto him, and he has issues with family and emotions that he is projecting onto you, and you are in a violent sport playing against then with each other, and your friends are far away, but then also sometimes you come home and he has made you supper and cleaned the kitchen and is singing along to dua lipa, and you make sure his whites and his darks are separated and his fridge is always clean, so itâs like, okay we can do this, and not just that, we have no choice but to do this because they will eat us alive if we donât. and also weâre the love of each otherâs lives.
