sick like crazy?

Ilya has names for these things, now. Slowly, with the help of those he holds closest to him, he’s begun to unravel the mess of abstract feelings, separating them into their individual threads, following each back to its source, to the degree that he can. The approach still feels overwhelmingly clinical at times, but he can’t deny the way that putting a name to a feeling decreases its power over him, plucks it out of the abstract and makes it something he can hold in his hands. It’s still just one step down a road that may never have an end in sight, but it’s a start. So when he steps on the ice for that morning’s practice and feels an all too familiar sense of deep, pervasive dread wash over him, he calls it what it is: depression.

chapter 4 is live if ur a morning person or even if ur not!!!!

I started this jaunt into heated rivalry fandom avoiding any stories without hockey. Everything in the show is about hockey I said to myself (except for the hockey, which is obviously about sex). Well, here we are. Obsession makes liars of us all. Time to share a non-exhaustive list of my favorite stories with (almost) zero hockey.

Vessel by medric/@bluegrasshole (21k, shane x ilya) (aka the lobster fisherman one)

In a place like Pardon’s Point there was always gossip. A good rumour was as good as legal tender, and on more than one occasion Shane heard a breathless story about something he’d done that he himself had not even been present for. In general, though, Shane kept to himself enough that most speculation about his life outside of his family ties and job died down around the time he turned thirty, when it became clear he was not interesting enough to merit any particular fascination... Ilya Rozanov, of course, had no such luck, though it was not like he hated the attention like Shane did. He was a local curiosity as soon as he came to town late winter eleven years ago, a strikingly handsome twenty-two year old Russian ex-pat whose English was weak and knowledge of the lobster industry weaker. He was a consummate flirt and a generous tipper, and was both the cause and the end of many a bar fight before he ever even hit the water.

A beautiful story suffused with a deep love and knowledge of the ocean and the small towns that survive on it. I love the steadiness of this Shane.

As the Romans Do by Kooksie (40k, shane x ilya) (aka the roommates one)

Ilya saves his contact as: “Hollander $700/mo furnished.”  Svetlana looks over his shoulder as he’s coordinating the apartment tour. Her voice deepens as it always does in Russian. “Fucking prostitutes already?”  Ilya rolls his eyes. “This is rent.” 

Shane is Ilya's roommate and then his gay sexual awakening. Before he figures it out, Ilya goes through the jealousy grinder. It’s just as satisfying as it sounds. One of the nice things about AUs where they were never rivals is that they’re allowed to just like each other from the start, and that is particularly evident here.

And like, Ilya expected them to get stopped a little. He gets recognized and stopped in Boston. But he wasn’t expecting to be recorded pretty much all day. Photos, video, the second anyone recognizes them - and everyone recognizes them - phones are out. Shane is repeatedly apologized to and told not to pay for a single thing all day. He leaves like a 300% tip on each of their purchases, but still. No one will let him pay for anything.

And everyone wants a picture. People are not shy about coming to him and asking for a picture or an autograph and Shane just - gives them whatever they want. Grown adults, teenagers, parents with small children… Shane and Ilya take a photo with each of the business owners to hang on their wall. The owner of the cafe almost cries when she sees him and gives him a big hug. She doesn’t need to ask for his order; she remembers it and she gives him a special energy breakfast ball thing she’s been perfecting with him in mind.

The bakery made his favourite cookie in the approximate shape and size of a pick because they heard he was in town and hoped he’d swing by.

“Hollander, you own a bar here?”

“Uh, nope, they just… changed it after I left. Used to be called Chez Serge. Hayden told me there’s a winebar called 2481 in the village now. Or maybe Saint Henri? I can’t remember.”

It’s fucking insane. And Ilya knew it was insane, but this… this is actually fucking crazy.

The only place that isn’t quite so bad is Schwartz’s. And after Ilya gets over the fact that Shane used to come here alone late sometimes (smoked meat sandwiches are NOT team dietician approved), he finds Shane essentially hanging out with the guy making their sandwiches at 11:30 at night. When he looks up, there’s a photo of them on the wall, and Shane’s grinning widely. “Hey Ilya, c’mere I want you to meet someone.”

They get bagels after. They just - drive to the bagel place that is open 24h, get a dozen, take yet another photo, and pick at them on the way back to Pike’s. They’re so fresh they’re still steaming.

Ilya looks at Shane from across the console. He’s been doing this the whole time? Even with the added pressure of their whole thing before it was a thing? Christ. “It was always like this?”

Shane shrugs. “I mean, not always. This was pretty bad, but it was like this every year we made the playoffs. I’d still get similar shit on years we didn’t do as well, just a little less, you know? I could at least go places without being stopped all the time. I’d still be filmed, but I think people were less proud to be seen with me? So less pictures with fans. But during the playoffs? Yeah, always like this. Why? It had to be similar for you in Boston.”

“Ah, no, Hollander. This is fucking crazy.”

“Yeah,” Shane shrugs. “Metros fans are passionate. The worst were the outfit paps. I always failed miserably at those.”

Ilya takes a breath.

Chapters: 1/6 Fandom: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers | Heated Rivalry - All Media Types, Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov, Shane Hollander & Ottawa Centaurs Team Ensemble & Ilya Rozanov Characters: Shane Hollander, Ilya Rozanov, Yuna Hollander, David Hollander, Brandon Wiebe, Zane Boodram, Wyatt Hayes, Luca Haas, Troy Barrett, Scott Hunter (Game Changers) Additional Tags: Ottawa Centaurs (Game Changers), Post-Book 6: The Long Game (Game Changers), Angst with a Happy Ending, Everyone Needs A Hug, Hurt/Comfort, wish fulfillment (ottawa winning the stanley cup), Character Study, Injury Recovery Summary:

And that’s it, really, the crux of everything they are and always have been to each other. Carving themselves into the fabric of the mountain’s summit so that neither of them can exist there without the other. I promise I will not let you fall.

Sometimes everything you want doesn’t necessarily look like everything you want. This is a story about picking up the pieces.

(This is a story about love.) ///

Will you still be Han Solo after we die? 'Fraid not, doll. Once I'm gone, I'm gone.

ABED HAN SOLO