Eleven years ago, a total psychopath walked into a bar, onto a wharf, and all over Captain Shane Hollanderās life. And then he did it again, and again.
This is a story about the weight of expectations, being scared of the future, and letting yourself be honest with those you love. It has a lot of ocean metaphors and some discussions of climate change. It was supposed to be funny but it isnāt much! Instead itās a little weird. And I made Scott Hunter a 75 year old snowbird, for some reason. I hope you read it.
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Shaneās brain cycled rapidly through a half-dozen celebrities, porn actors, Grindr profiles, every attractive bartender whoād ever served him a beer, trying to find a comparison for this level of outrageously concentrated beauty in one person, but he was drawing a blank.
The manāIlya Rozanov, Facilities Attendant, his badge readāgestured around the supply closet. āI help you find something?ā
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Canon-divergent AU set during the 2017-18 MLH season. Shane Hollander doesnāt have a single Cup to his name when meets a very hot and very annoying janitor who works at the Metros stadium.
read here! with all my thanks to @nondeducible, @sexcromancy, @tackytigerfic and @thomasmomwell <3
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i think about how hard + how exhilarating it is to be in a new relationship where you are just figuring out all the ways in which you and your partner can be both fun + difficult to live with, when you have been living alone for years and have your routines and preferences and suddenly thereās a MAN there who also has his own routines and preferences, and you have to figure out this new dynamic together, and how not to be mad all the time because you are in love, and also maybe youāre a repressed hockey player whoās never even been to a restaurant with your new boyfriend because thatās just how the cheese of life melts, so everything is new new and scary scary, and also youāre famous, and also youāre one of the first out couples in a famously homophobic high-pressure environment, and there is immense pressure to be role models of a perfect happy gay life, but privately youāre like why wonāt this man ever close a fucking DRAWER IN THE KITCHEN, so even when youāre annoyed (which happens, even in a healthy relationship, not that you know this yet!) you have to pretend youāre not in public because the world is rabid and hungry for you to fail, and also youāve actually never been in a long term relationship before and you are maybe realizing you also have issues, and like, maybe he never closes drawers but you also clean up his water glasses before heās done with them and that annoys him too, and also, maybe you have issus with food and scheduling that you are projecting onto him, and he has issues with family and emotions that he is projecting onto you, and you are in a violent sport playing against then with each other, and your friends are far away, but then also sometimes you come home and he has made you supper and cleaned the kitchen and is singing along to dua lipa, and you make sure his whites and his darks are separated and his fridge is always clean, so itās like, okay we can do this, and not just that, we have no choice but to do this because they will eat us alive if we donāt. and also weāre the love of each otherās lives.
the loons have prompted ābaby ilyaā and iāve recently gotten back into scrapping/collaging SO i made this.
some details:
- photograph of the moscow skyline (far left) as it looked in 1997, sourced from national geographic
- the icing on the birthday cake says lydia BUT if you squint and donāt look too close it kinda looks like ilya. i found it in an article about mormons in natgeo okay.
- the hands in the center are from an āidealsā magazine from the 70ās and i gasped when i flipped to it. i built the whole spread around this because obviously.
iāve been working on some more of these for some of my fics too so if you like stay tuned there Will be more
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Ilya has names for these things, now. Slowly, with the help of those he holds closest to him, heās begun to unravel the mess of abstract feelings, separating them into their individual threads, following each back to its source, to the degree that he can. The approach still feels overwhelmingly clinical at times, but he canāt deny the way that putting a name to a feeling decreases its power over him, plucks it out of the abstract and makes it something he can hold in his hands. Itās still just one step down a road that may never have an end in sight, but itās a start.
So when he steps on the ice for that morningās practice and feels an all too familiar sense of deep, pervasive dread wash over him, he calls it what it is: depression.
chapter 4 is live if ur a morning person or even if ur not!!!!
look i love fat characters as much or more as the rest of em (it used to be my whole blog) but i think ilya is too vain for that. i think heāll be 60 with like the weird rod brindamour esque old man build. and shane will eat it up
Heated Rivalry fanfic recs (part iv) (the AU version)
I started this jaunt into heated rivalry fandom avoiding any stories without hockey. Everything in the show is about hockey I said to myself (except for the hockey, which is obviously about sex). Well, here we are. Obsession makes liars of us all. Time to share a non-exhaustive list of my favorite stories with (almost) zero hockey.
Vessel by medric/@bluegrasshole (21k, shane x ilya) (aka the lobster fisherman one)
In a place like Pardonās Point there was always gossip. A good rumour was as good as legal tender, and on more than one occasion Shane heard a breathless story about something heād done that he himself had not even been present for. In general, though, Shane kept to himself enough that most speculation about his life outside of his family ties and job died down around the time he turned thirty, when it became clear he was not interesting enough to merit any particular fascination...
Ilya Rozanov, of course, had no such luck, though it was not like he hated the attention like Shane did. He was a local curiosity as soon as he came to town late winter eleven years ago, a strikingly handsome twenty-two year old Russian ex-pat whose English was weak and knowledge of the lobster industry weaker. He was a consummate flirt and a generous tipper, and was both the cause and the end of many a bar fight before he ever even hit the water.
A beautiful story suffused with a deep love and knowledge of the ocean and the small towns that survive on it. I love the steadiness of this Shane.
As the Romans Do by Kooksie (40k, shane x ilya) (aka the roommates one)
Ilya saves his contact as: āHollander $700/mo furnished.āĀ
Svetlana looks over his shoulder as heās coordinating the apartment tour. Her voice deepens as it always does in Russian. āFucking prostitutes already?āĀ
Ilya rolls his eyes. āThis is rent.āĀ
Shane is Ilya's roommate and then his gay sexual awakening. Before he figures it out, Ilya goes through the jealousy grinder. Itās just as satisfying as it sounds. One of the nice things about AUs where they were never rivals is that theyāre allowed to just like each other from the start, and that is particularly evident here.
Heaven is a bedroom by Charlotte_Stant (18k, shane x ilya) (aka the Mormon one)
āYou areā¦ā Ilya paused as he searched for the right word. āAttracted to me, no?ā
It didn't feel like there would be much point in lying. āObviously.ā
āYou are scared?ā
āIām not scared.āĀ ScaredĀ was too small a word.Ā ScaredĀ couldnāt encompass the possibility that maybe if you did what you wanted the whole carefully planned structure of your life would implode. āThis is wrong, okay? I shouldnāt want any of this. I should just leave, right now.āĀ
Shane stood there, not leaving, and Ilya watched him. The air between them smelled like cigarettes and cologne: bad decision-making.
It took a few recommendations from people whose taste I really trust before I dove into this one. So glad I did as I've found myself rereading it more than once when I need a pick-me-up. Lovely, sexy, funny, just charming from beginning to end.
american motor over smoldered field by @garagepaperback (8k, shane x ilya) (aka the catfish one)
Sheās a smart girl. For lying, first off, though she has less stamina for it than Ilya. He was sleeping when the confession cracked out of her. Gushing, dripping admission after dripping admission. She was sorry, she was scared, she didnāt mean to. She really, really likesā
Such a little thing, saying she was in Boston instead of Wherever, Canada. Ilya doesnāt care at all. He cares only to have this much more of her, how much there always seems to be. It makes his cock twitch: years and years of doing this, only six months of Jane and still she surprises him. She is so sweet, so, so shy, and suddenly the gloss slides off to show the fox beneath. Even if she acts sorry, small and scared. Sheās got sturdier teeth than the rest; she is the only one of them that insists on buying the ticket herself instead of wiring him money.
Okay, like the boys here, I lied. Shane is a hockey player in this one. But the hockey is beside the point. This author has such a gift for pulling us into the darker recesses of Ilya's brain, while never losing sight of his kinder, softer parts. This is a delicious morsel of a story.
A Side Door into the Dark by magnetica (8k, shane x ilya) (aka the Antarctica one)
After that first encounter on the deck Ilya began to appear everywhere Shane went. It was a small base with only about a hundred people on it, he reasoned, it made sense for anyone to run into each other. But then there was the slight tendency to lean a bit closer towards Ilya when he passed him in the hall, or let his gaze linger a few seconds too long on the back of his neck when he saw him by the kitchens, and this seemed to signal something altogether more serious than a simple coincidence of place. Potentially nothing. Probably something. And that was fineāthey stocked antibiotics specifically in case of STI outbreaks, of which there had been none so far but usually, at least according to the physician, happened annually. The walls were paper thin, Shane was pretty sure he could list by now exactly how many sexual partners both of his neighbors had and how often they saw them. It was no secret that winterovers engaged in a kind of stringent fucking during free hours. One had to be precise, because one could not, evidently, survive a winter in Antarctica without sex.
Shane and Ilya are scientists at the end of the world. Filled with a quiet yearning and warmth; like the beginning of spring after a long winter.
bloodfeather by embodied (17k, shane x ilya) (aka the boxing one)
He knew it broke his motherās heart when he asked to quit hockey and join martial arts instead. But, as an only child, and an ostracized one, he usually got what he wanted. He started with Muay Thai and Jiu-Jitsu, and later, after a few years of lifting weights in his basement until he stopped fitting into his clothes, he dabbled in wrestling. At seventeen, his mom finally let him join boxing, too. He didnāt like wearing the gloves, but the skills were crucial. It would round him out, give him the edge he needed to be aĀ realĀ fighter, if he worked himself hard enough. Gradually, he transformed his body into a weapon, a steel trap of tender flesh, waiting for the catch.Ā
The punching bag his dad hung in the garage for his birthday one year became something like a friend to him. The old basement VCR was a close second, where heād spend entire nights rewinding every UFC fight he could find until the tape got jammed. Heāll never forget how seeing the blood on the mat for the first time made his dick harder than any girl heād ever seen.
Apparently, there's something about boxing that translates to the HR universe, because this is the second boxing AU that knocked my socks off. Violence, sex, and even a little bit of tenderness.
oh well, I guess we're gonna find out by angel_deux (95k, shane x Ilya) (aka the zombies one)
Ilya wakes up on the firstĀ realĀ full day of the apocalypse feeling, actually, pretty good. Shane Hollander is a warm, beautiful prize, laying half on him, his face pressed against Ilya's chest, fully naked despite his pissy insistence last night thatĀ we need to be dressed in case the zombies get in, idiot, because he had fallen asleep like ten seconds after that insistence, and Ilya had been more than happy to let him.
A survivalist, zombie love story. What's not to like?
If you like your AU with a little hockey flavor, you could also check out the doctor one, the bachelor one, or the dog one.
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