Dahling you simply must read this book! It’s all about this devious little caterpillar who simply gorges himself on all manner of divine things

Origami Around
trying on a metaphor
Sade Olutola
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
Cosmic Funnies

⁂

❣ Chile in a Photography ❣
sheepfilms
Cosimo Galluzzi
Show & Tell
DEAR READER
Claire Keane

Love Begins

pixel skylines

★
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
todays bird

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@iguanapizzaparty
Dahling you simply must read this book! It’s all about this devious little caterpillar who simply gorges himself on all manner of divine things

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
The facial expressions of everyone trying not to lose it are killing me
This is painfully American
Americans be like it is totally normal for an entire stadium (including military members) to stand at attention while a fast food clown mascot sings the national anthem
when we say "it is functionally impossible to parody Americans in a way that will actually insult them" this is the sort of thing you're up against. is your sick burn funnier than corporation burger clown sing national anthem baseball game? no?? of course it isn't.
I'm sorry your parents named you Philip ☹ I could name you something better
can this happen to a normal woman???
i really like this thing where websites will have separate "log in" & "sign up" buttons and if you click "log in" it takes you to a sign-up screen anyway so you have to click "i already have an account" and then it will ask if you want to sign in with your facebook account or with instagram or linkedin or deviantart or whatever, and if you choose "username & password" it asks if you want to put in your username or use your thumbprint, and once you put your username & password it emails you a confirmation code, and once you put in the code it says "do you want to give us your phone number for future sign-ins? do you want to sign up for facial recognition? do you want to give us your bones? give us your fucking bones?
websites prior to like the 2010s: sign in with your username and password
websites now:

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Mobster, pointing a gun at my head: Any last words kid
Me: I actually like to use women's deodorant because the stuff for men dries out my skin and smells like harsh chemicals
*BANG*
(3 hours later, at Walmart)
(Mobster holding Dove Advance Care in the deodorant aisle)
Hmm...
A bit of flare:]
I have no idea whether this is true, it seems way too stupid to be real and I have to assume it's made up, but I'm sharing because it has the vibe of something that would happen in a cartoon from the 90s that has characters burn a hole in a door by bouncing a laser pen beam between two mirrors
Person who wrote this scene would write about websites with security like this.
That's Joseph Cox from 404 media. The article has limited information but they're seeking more and their journalists will be trying to replicate it. This was meta's own ai chatbot that helped the hackers change the email. One of the accounts was the Barack Obama White House Account. Another was Sephora.
Link to the article
I'm trying so hard to suspend disbelief on this fuck of a life but every day I suspect more and more that we are living in a cartoon
tumblr staff finding out their site has crowdsourced a viral song, only to discover it is 100% unusable in any corporate marketing scenario
Australian music industry: "God we wish local music was more popular"
Monkey paw: *curls*
For those unsure what's being referenced:
This went down a fucking storm in a bar on Saturday btw
> be tumblr
> accidentally meme your way into creating a hit song made entirely out of slurs
> song gets banned from the dance charts right as its about to chart
> every gay bar in the country immediately adds it to their playlist in protest
Sometimes using this site is like accidentally rolling your car off a cliff only for it to somehow do a flip and land directly on top of Hitler
My secret is that i am trying to get a better job
Quit your job, join my blood cult
Will there be skulls?
Of course, it is Pride month after all

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
fuck i’m trying to catch all these flies but they think my vinegar is stupid. i have honey also but that’s for me i can’t give them any of that
management trying to hire and retain employees
My supervisor keeps cutting off my sentences and while I could respectfully ask him to stop interrupting me during meetings, I hate him and his stupid misshapen head and my new tactic is to let him finish his sentence and then restart my sentence from the very beginning and keep doing that again and again until I get to the end of my sentence. This is not a mature or professional way to conduct oneself in a workplace but it is: Deeply Fucking Funny because he gets so impatient so fast
I'm not kidding like you can see him grit his teeth and you see this muscle twitch in his jaw and it is hysterical. He's so angry he wants me dead but strangling me at work would be way less professional than whatever juvenile bullshit I'm doing
I maintain this could be vaguely sexually interesting if he were hot but he isn't. I'm suffering worse than Christ over here
i just don't think 16 minutes is going to cover it
came to me in a dream
@abalidoth
I really don’t like when a book advertises itself as fantasy or scifi with maybe some romance on the side and then it turns out to just be a romance with some fantasy or scifi wallpaper. Fine if you wanna read that but I don’t. Stop having sex and kill the dragon already. This is false advertising.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
“My emperor is fine” your emperor has commissioned over 8000 life-sized terracotta soldiers and buried them facing east, in the direction of his recently conquered enemies in the hopes that they will protect him in the afterlife.
DELETE THIS IMMEDIATELY
someone needs to invent reverse cornflakes. i want to eat a cereal that gives me a demonic erection and inflicts upon me an insatiable lust
congratulations for writing the funniest and also most correct tags on this post