cry me a conundrum

maybe I’m greedy but I don’t want the tumblr sexyman poll to kill mitch mcconnell he’s already on the way out. I think we can dream bigger. what if it kills him

one time I went over to a friend's house and their housemate was making paper in the living room, and we saw this big tub full of water they were using to dissolve old scrap paper into a slurry, and everyone was immediately like "oh, you need scrap paper?" and started turning out their jacket pockets and producing expired coupons and bus tickets and crumpled receipts and old shopping lists and whatever else they'd been carrying round with them for no good reason, and passing it all to the paper-making housemate to make sure it was suitable before it got torn up and dropped into the tub, while people took turns stirring the slurry with a big wooden stick. it was strangely ritualistic, like presenting an offering to some kind of temple elder for inspection before placing it in a watery shrine to be devoured and reformed. pulp for the pulp god.

if you have to rely on specific scripts or turns of phrase to socialise that's totally fine, but you must NOT reveal them to your friends while slightly drunk. it's like showing how the magic trick works, you can't do it in front of them afterwards

i like dogs a lot but i can never remember the differences between breeds (apart from the few types i've actually owned/interacted with). but i know people looove their dogs and love talking about their dogs, so whenever im talking to a dog owner i'll ask what breed it is, and no matter what breed they say i'll say "oh! i've heard they have a really nice nature :D" and they always go YESSS THEY'RE GREAT and start gushing about their dog and we have a nice conversation and i build social credit with this person. anyway i told my friends about this script a few weeks ago when slightly drunk and now every time we're in public together and a dog goes past they turn to me and ask "does that one have a nice nature?" im in a hell of my own making

dont talk to me or my clone or my shadow self or my reflection or my me ever again

being as i am an idiot, and having been one my whole life, i just wanna say that i find it very easy to do nothing, and go nowhere. i eat chocolate late at night in the dark. i stand in the garden also. and i’m often waiting for something to happen. and i’m stupid.

My Name is 8 PM. and I am always arriving when you atrent Looking

M Nm s 8 PM. nd m lws rrvng whn y trnt Lkng

if you two had a baby it would be a regular sentence. or perhaps silence.

‎

Right.

I know that, as Americans, we live awash in a sea of anti-China propaganda and as such a lot of us on the left want to course correct and cut through the lies to stop seeing China as some great evil, and that is definitely a good instinct and desire, but in the process of unfucking ourselves from US propaganda it's important to not then immediately walk into supporting Chinese propaganda. I feel like I've seen more and more folks in my communities jump on the rather concerning trend of uncritically accepting Chinese news and the word of the Chinese government as the antithesis of Americas lies about the country, but the truth is that both the US and China are massive imperialist nations with major skeletons in the closet, whom have committed atrocities to attain and sustain their power, and who continue to exert their influence on the global stage in pursuit of their own ends, and who are constantly attempting to shape narratives about their own countries, their governments actions, and the world at large. Please apply the same critical thinking skills, skepticism, and standards you would hold US news to when talking about other large and influential nations, China very much included.

why is this getting notes again everyone STOP talking about white collar & rich guy shit i am a BLUE COLLAR DYKE!!!! THIS IS A JANITORIAL COMPANY!!!! i will NOT let you make this about white collar businessmen the poors are funny too ok

anyone else absolutely guzzling the shit out of some wadder? a fucking boddle of wadder?

Every now and again someone reblogs this and I am haunted by the fact that almost every big name streamer and jerma himself and notable voice actors and apparently the fucking spongebob squarepants art team have referenced this picture I made and I only have 4k notes on it

Gargantuan lore drop but I NEED a source on that SpongeBob one

Using my power as a gimmick blog to spread the ORIGINAL post even more far and wide because how the hell does this only have 5kish notes. Please. What.

Perhaps this is an obnoxious take on my part, but video games should, above all things, prioritize the ability of being paused. At any point. Regardless of whether it's during a cutscene, a special animation, or a time-based puzzle. You never know when you're gonna get a phone call, or someone will need you in another room, or you get a sudden urge to go to the bathroom, or you hear your cat licking plastic, or whatever. Other entertainment mediums like books, movies, and music can be paused whenever you want. Why do some games not give you the same luxury??

"it's time to surface, (unintelligible, possibly "back to people), the vacation is over. oh blyat, a grenade. what sort of moron keeps the...-boom-"

POV you’re Wile E Coyote

No translation neccessary