in the garden

but ykw at least i'm not on mount everest. at least i'm not paying tens of thousands of dollars to slowly suffocate in a 300-person line at the gates of hell. never in my life will i have to be steered in a hypoxic stupor through the maze of poop and corpses atop mount everest. on this earth a lot of horrible things can happen to you without your permission but there are a few that you have to opt into. you can just say no thanks! and be guaranteed never to have to be on mount everest. much to be grateful for actually

still not on mount everest this morning 😌 alhamdulillah

They're older than Florida. The Floridian peninsula is the solidified runoff of the Appalachians that got caught on some coral. It's why we're like this, I think. You don't stand a chance of being normal when you were created by the shed skin of an elder god draping itself over a hollow skeleton. You're always going to be a little Off.

They used to be as tall as the Himalayas.

Okay but are they older or younger than sharks?

There’s also a bit of this massive intercontinental mountain range on my home island, Cape Breton! The oldest rocks in the world are here, if I remember correctly. :)

logan echolls character of all time. what if you were your school's obligatory psychotic jackass because your dad beats you and your mom can't help and your sister doesn't believe you. what if your girlfriend broke up with you and the day you try to get her back she gets murdered and then a year later your mom kills herself and you ask your dead girlfriend's best friend who you hate and who hates you to prove she's still alive and she's the only person to hold you when you cry because you found out your sister was using your mom's credit cards and she actually is dead. what if you fell in love with your dead girlfriend's best friend and then she dumped you because she thought you were the murderer. what if you found out that your dead girlfriend broke up with you because she was sleeping with your dad and he's the one who killed her. what if you got drunk and tried to jump off the same bridge your mom did but you got jumped and got the shit kicked out of you and got framed for murder. what if someone burned down your house and you ended up living in a hotel room for two years. what if your dad got away with killing your girlfriend and then the day he gets released your best friend (who kidnapped his own baby and fled the country and never spoke to you again) has a hitman kill him. what if you find out that one of your friends raped your dead girlfriend's best friend (who you're still in love with) and then he tried to kill her but you stopped him and then he killed himself in front of you. what if you found out that you have a half brother but when you try to contact him you get swindled by a journalist and then your real half brother never wants to speak to you. what if your trust fund ran out so you joined the military and then ten years later you go to move the car for street cleaning and get blown up and die. he's everything he's perfect he's a sopping wet pathetic little meow meow he speaks arabic he can quote susan sontag from memory. frankly my dear... you know the rest

Everytime I reblog this has a new addition and it’s the best

THE LAST ONE IS THE BEST ONE

I love fanfic so so so much.

Canon: Am I joke to you?

Fanon: No, just a disappointment.

World Heritage Post

one of my favorite things about my lady jane, it proved that having couples be married and in love doesn’t make the plot boring