(ง ื▿ ื)ว

shout out to the older woman in the snack aisle at walmart who just answered her phone and snapped “i’m in an important meeting, what do you want?”

One time on a beautiful sunny day I was sitting next to a man in an ice cafe and he got a call and answered with "so sorry, I can't come, I'm at a funeral right now :(" then turned to me and winked.

was talking to my friend and I said “wow you have really long fingers” and then I realised that sounded like I was coming onto him so I added “like ET” to desexualise the moment

was in london a week ago and i saw a globe theatre production company of macbeth doing their vocal warmups and they were standing on stage and rhythmically shouting FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! at the top of their lungs in perfect unison for thirty seconds. so thats whats going on in the globe theatre these days. just thought yall should know

getting anonymous hate (“just checking in” emails) from jealous haters (my professors) because of my hot takes (incredibly overdue assignments)