evil again @cryptidjeepers - Tumblr Blog

Thirteen's pretty hairstyle ♡

#shes so pretty tf #the lighting looks really good in this edit!

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cryptidjeepers

i love when customers threaten to call corporate for something that is clearly within and protected by store policy and clear as day on the receipt. Like call them and they will tell you the same thing dumbass 😭😭😭

cryptidjeepers

YOU ARE RETURNING A MOSTLY USED PRODUCT 10 DAYS AFTER THE RETURN POLICY CLEARLY OUTLINED ON YOUR RECEIPT DO YOU THINK WE'RE IDIOTS????

i love when customers threaten to call corporate for something that is clearly within and protected by store policy and clear as day on the receipt. Like call them and they will tell you the same thing dumbass 😭😭😭

#YOURE NOT SPECIAL!!

has anyone told taylor swift that shes too old to still be obsessed with her high school glory days

#Its getting embarrassing how much she genuinely wishes she was still a teenager 😭

enabuns

This show y'all, it's as if someone read my dream journal for how to make the perfect horror/mystery show. Comedy is 10/10, spookies 10/10, Matthew Rhys' facial expressions, 10289230/10 🏝

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brimblebramble

Was she in her 40s? - Skally, 16.06.26

limitedseries

Matthew Rhys as Mayor Tom Loftis in Season 1 of Widow's Bay

2026 Primetime Emmy Nominee for Outstanding Lead Actor in a Comedy Series

#The bit of him falling in the boat has been replaying in my head

chrromebrutus-deactivated202105

The Lord of the Rings: Loyal Steeds of Middle Earth

candlejack

EXCUSE ME EVERYONE. YOU MISSED ONE.

apricops

people saying that nepotism is a problem created by capitalism make me lose my mind. have you heard of this thing called "a king"

junkyarded

so many people post like they are from the dimension of No Misogyny because the misogyny all around them just registers to them as fine and normal

junkyarded

we are all posting from the dimension of No Misandry because we live on the planet earth

yossyislandd

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donesparce

you might be scared of the unknowable horrors but im built different.

im scared of the lithium ion rechargeable batteries in devices/electronics ive lost in my room for 5-7 years and counting.

donesparce

i dont need to be reminded more of these are hiding somewhere near me

#Literally was looking for my old student card and found an old phone that um is definitely expanding #Worse part is the place to bring them to closes during regular work hours so when tf am i going to bring it in

i think i missed my calling in scamming people with 'colour analysis' sessions

#If you throw a bunch if words like colour theory and warm tones people will believe anything you say!

roswellsoup

graduated and was blessed by ladybug freaks 💛🐞🎓

fawnsbriar

the queen of widows bay

spiteyote-resurrected

tapping the sign preemptively

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fuck-u-maga

kingcatnine

i know it's not fair to compare the writing of recent debut tumblr authors to Terry Pratchett no matter how much they want to be him but reading a discworld really is making me despair at ppl not understanding what makes a metaphor good. Pratchett just hit me with "the silence of the room crowded in like a fist slowly being clenched" and you want to try my patience with sharpened bananas. go home.

rebellum

Hard disagree!!!

I really like it, its a good simile. It tells me how ridiculously oversized the claws are. If it were just "giant claws" I'd assume normal giant claws, like a grizzly

But with this description I'm imagining like

kingcatnine

yes, it tells you that the claws are the size of bananas. but it says "like sharpened bananas", invoking the spirit of the banana: soft. yellow. sweet. it invokes the size, but not the menace, of huge fuck-off claws, and distracts the reader from a high-action moment by inviting them to imagine trying to sharpen a banana to hurt someone with

#If you want an evocative simile you want to convey the deadliness and size of the claw #Compare it to something like a scimitar or idk something just as dangerous and obviously lrg that people can recognize as "oh fuck big scar #A fucking Banana though 😭

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