i am immutable

I’m blessing you with restful sleep and a slightly lucky day for tomorrow. You don’t have to do anything for it, you just got lucky seeing this :)

I love having mutuals and going yeah you WOULD reblog that one wouldnt you .

working with little kids is so dangerous. you get one kid who has a unique way of speaking & then spend the rest of your life with an internal monologue like “me’s go bathroom?”

cannot stress enough the importance of having a bucket in your house. a big plastic bucket. helps with housework. helps with morale. get yourself a bucket today

Yes

last christmas man me a sand but the very next day man car door hook hand

like to charge, reblog to cast

like to charge, VOTE to cast

far from prudish but just got blazed porn of someone's pussy spread out so hard and up close like it's a map of the polish-lithuanian commonwealth and I'm king and grand duke sigismund II augustus inspecting his lands to plot defense against the swedes

I was literally saying to my therapist, “I think the core of my intimacy issues is—” and then the internet went out and our zoom call crashed. I left her on a real cliff hanger

I’ve been trying to leave Rome for a few weeks now, but all their roads have this weird design flaw

Hotelius Californium…

such a dulce et decorum place…

Missouri shares it's two major cities with neighboring states because Missouri loves company.

This is not an exaggeration.  Your download speed would slow down to the point where Windows would make this kind of absurd estimate, and you’d sigh and leave the room for a while (because you couldn’t use the computer while it was doing this for fear it would crash and lose all your progress) and then you’d come back in 40 minutes and maybe it would now say 52 years or maybe it would say 3 minutes, who knew, not Windows.

"Average canyon is full of arachnids" factoid actually just a statistical anomaly. Average canyon has a normal amount of arachnids. Spider Gorge-