2 spooky 4 this

there’s still idiots in my inbox asking if m this is real— yes it is.

This is what having auditory processing issues is like.

Why don’t we let the guy whose every plan could be reasonably construed as an abstract suicide attempt take a crack at it

popcorn explodes too violently. they need to breed a new one that unfurls like the delicate wings of a newly emerged moth

Why is it easier and more comfortable to sit in a position that actively damages my joints than it is to just sit with okay posture. Why does my body crave its own destruction

free my girl she did all that and that’s what makes her such a compellingly complex character. that’s her essence

*trying to pitch public transportation to Americans* it’s like a legal form of texting while driving

it’s a beautiful day to check out a book from the library

its a beautiful day to return a book to the library unread after it auto renews 3 times

The library says thank you for boosting our circulation stats and the book will still be here later if you want it another time <3

Evil wizard tasteful pin-up magazine but it's all photos of like, skinny old goths coyly fingering cursed amulets, long-bearded sorcerers doing the 'oopsie' pose as their corrosive destruction spell destroys enough of their own robes to show some skin, naked desiccated lich king positioning his staff of human skulls just so it leaves something to the imagination, dark knights in full armor just holding their soul-eating blades out in front of their codpieces, orc chieftain who did not understand the assignment and is posing with a monster he killed like one of those guys-with-fish photos. Or maybe he DID understand the assignment. Hmm.