Seriously, Why Were All The Good Names Taken?

"In the middle of a "forcing party" where friends and I are forcing one another to do the things that we've been avoiding.

So far: [bullet list] A passport has been filed for; An inbox has been zero'd; A personal website has been created; & more.

none of this absolves doctors of the truly horrendous things they say and do to patients, but it's important to acknowledge that rather than every doctor being coincidentally a bad person, there is something specific about this field and career path that gives rise to such high prevalence of ableist attitudes

I do not believe the vast majority of people go into a helping field because they’re secretly evil bad abusers. Some do. But most don’t.

And then I get legions of people who are like "Ah, so you're okay with people DOING BAD THINGS?" No, I'm explicitly against that

"Ah but if they DID THE BAD THINGS, it's because they were THINKING ABOUT IT and WANTING TO DO IT." Correct. The problem is the doing

"Oh, so you think NO ONE who EVER thought about doing bad things has EVER done a bad thing??" No. I'm sure many of them did think about it beforehand. I'm sure many also did not. It's the doing that's the issue

"So you want me to be COOL with PEOPLE DOING BAD THINGS" No. The doing is the problem. I also don't expect you to be cool with anything, I don't know you or care about you and nobody is owed any particular emotional reaction

"YOU WANT ME TO LOVE PEOPLE WHO DO BAD THINGS" Not really no

"YOU WANT ME TO KISS PEOPLE WHO THINK HARMFUL THOUGHTS ON THE MOUTH" Not really no

I think people also often forget that power dynamics don't always fully favor the customer, and sometimes power dynamics can be tilted in the favor of the customer service worker and subsequently abused. Able bodied customer service workers can be, and often are, ableist to disabled customers. White customer service workers can be, and often are, racist towards customers of color. Customer service workers who are men can be, and often are, sexist towards customers who are women. Customer service workers who are non-immigrants can be, and often are, xenophobic towards immigrant customers. Shall I go on? That's obviously not an exhaustive list and I could very well go on.

When I worked retail I had a co-worker scream at a little old lady and kick her out of the store because she spoke to him in a language he didn't speak. I saw her face as she was leaving and she looked so shaken up like she was about to cry. I've overheard so many of my co-workers calling customers racial slurs behind their back. Once again, I could go on, but I feel like my addition here is already getting long enough.

This really is were they're disabilities bugger them both over. Their written fuck ups take any small misunderstanding they have; and multiplying and magnifying them.

That definitely cause of so so many communication issues with with Stolitz. Leading to them not talking in person about alot of things because of miscommunications via text.

Stolas knows Blitz is a mile a minute speaker, but him being to being extremely terse via text makes Stolas badly misread him.

Thinking Blitz is angry or annoyed at him, because he can't hear his tone, or see Blitz's expression to try and guide him.

Blitz's writing style is nothing like his speech pattern with Stolas.

And Stolas writing style also isn't a good match for his speech. Stolas over explains to the extreme to try not not be misunderstood. And is unfortunately misunderstood for not sounding like himself, sounding like he's trying to downplay events instead of apologise.

A good example of them clashing is when Blitz is being cute and happy about coming over saying, "Lyke olways!"

It's exactly how he pronounces it when telling his daughter she looks perfect. So Blitz is being cute with Stolas.

But Stolas comply misreads it as Blitz not wanting to see him.

"If you don't feel like coming, that's ok! I'm sure I can do without it for one month. :)". Assuming seeing him longer that day is something to be endured.

Because Stolas has the same self loathing issues that Blitz has. No one can actually like spending time with him. It's all got to be because of what he can do for them, not who he is.

Despite Blitz being so very very up for sleeping together that night. (He even holding hands for miles, and was dieing to leave Stolas breathless).

And this is how Blitz felt about seeing Stolas most nights really.

But Stolas just can't tell that from that "K" he gets back when Stolas brakes their hookup date.

Confusing the heck out of Blitz. Feeling like his feeling are being played with, as he get jerked around because his smaller and his time is less important.

Giving Blitz lots of mixed complicated feelings. Because sure he wants to see Stolas, but Blitz was also hating that he was falling for the guy. So less contact now, with the option of seeing Stolas more later kinda was what he wanted.

The deal gave Blitz a sense of security that Stolas wouldn't end it out of the blue. Because Blitz assumed if he was doing what Stolas wanted then Stolas would keep him around.

And they still haven't talked even a little about how blindsided Blitz felt by the crystal.

And a lot of that comes from them both misunderstanding eachother over texts. With Blitz really really struggling to find and get the words out.

So often resorting to sending Stolas funny meme. Hoping if he can make him laugh, then Stolas will stop being upset with him. And they can get back to normal.

Or like how Stolas misreading Blitz "y?" has massively snowballed, into something they're both given up trying to talk about, because of their disabilities.

Making Stolas fucking up for a second time after Ozzie's, as he attempted to talk it through, appears to go nowhere.

Stolas knows that their night went of the the rails and was trying to talk about it... Stolas: "next time you come over, maybe we can talk about what happened at Ozzie's?"

He just knows that it did, and Blitz is upset with him for trying to treat the 'date' as a date at the end. Leading to Stolas still thinking he's coerced Blitz into something he's never been ok with.

And to Stolas describing himself as a monster, thinking there whole sexual relationship has been something Blitz never wanted.

Because Blitz saying all they have is "you wanting to fuck me"; sounds like he's saying that they have never had mutual attraction.

This communication fuck up just doesn't stick if Blitz was freely able to express himself in writing. Or if Stolas is better able to judge tone without facial or vocal ques.

But because Stolas' is austic and Blitz is dyslexic, Stolas' attempt at clearing this up, and apologising go deeply wrong.

He is just not able to interpret correctly Blitz's is limited in his response of "y?"

And Blitz gets back an extremely difficult wall of text, that is a dyslexia's nightmare to pars out.

"I'm sorry! Nevermind, it's not a big deal. i was just worried about you. you seemed very upset and you took off so fast. but maybe I read too much into that, I'm glad if that's not the case. I wasn't upset either, I just wanted to make sure you weren't and obviously you can handle any stupid joke a clown can make. Asmodeus can be very invasive in his humor, but i thought it was pretty funny myself. what he said about me at least, I enjoy being the subject of jest. maybe you can say mean things to me too next time you come over."

Having Stolas backtrack into insulting Fizz, and clowing, Blitz's former career. As well as appear to side with Ozzie's mockery; that all that they can be together is a kink, that ruins Stolas life.

And then asks Blitz to say mean things to him, because Stolas would be willing to put up with emotional abuse if he got to spend time with Blitz...🤦 (Again another example of self loathing, and assuming the other needs to be given something to put up with them).

Stolas doesn't know what's made Blitz upset, but was at least a little close thinking that it was about what Fizz and Ozzie said. (Even if it's actually about being hurt how Stolas appears to have rejected him in public).

Asmodeus: ♫"Wooo! My dark lord, how the mighty do fall. ♫You used to have a smoking wife, a kid, you had it all♫You sold your life for a thrust!"♫.

Blitz has a history of assuming he makes everyone he knows lives worse. And Stolas seemed to agree with that, that it was done only for sex.

Especially cus from Blitz view, Stolas appears to have given up things Blitz would kill for; a hot partner and a daughter who adores her dad, and is happy to show it.

Blitz doesn't know the marriage was arranged or that Stella was abusive. He just knows she's hot enough to impress the Sin of Lust. When he's getting dragged by his ex for his sexual prowess.

Blitz doesn't even clear to the reason why Stolas hide behind a menu... Because he does like the idea of hurting his kid. And Blitz just showed him this is what to do this when the MC making you feel uncomfortable.

They can't communicate well over text together, because of clashing neurodivergencies they haven't been able to talk any of this out. And this leads to them giving up trying to talk about some things in person.

Leaving this all unresolved since Ozzie. I can't wait to see them start to talk bits of this out in season 3.

Cus at least with them both in the same place, they've got like half a hope unpicking some of this mess.

Because I'm sure if someone asked who dumped who, both would say the other did it. (And I have metaphorical popcorn 🍿 waiting on that day).

Here's the thing that people have been trying to say and people get pissed off about it: fandom is not activism. Fandom is just for fun.

Listen: FANDOM DOES NOT DICTATE WHETHER SOMEONE IS BIGOTED OR NOT.

If you're offended by someone "misrepresenting" a fictional character it is your job to block or just to scroll or move on. People seem to forget that they curate their own damn online experience.

For example: let's say someone is shipping an aroace character and you don't like that because you believe its "erasure". Your job is not to attack someone over what they're enjoying in fiction. (Also let's not forget by your own logic you're implying aroace people can't have any relationship ever but that's a can of worms for a different time.)

Or if someone ships a dynamic you aren't comfortable with because it's "morally wrong"? Block and move on

If anything ever in fandom makes you uncomfortable then just block that thing and move the fuck on with your life.