PUNK ASS BOOK JOCKY

no one says big mood anymore. no one even says mood. no one says anything. all thats left is a dry wind, that scours my face until i bleed

This is more inspirational than I think it was originally intended to be

whenever I tell a story I feel like Uncle Colm from Derry Girls

my most toxic trait is i fucking love work gossip. i play neutral not to be the bigger person or take the high road but to hear slander and hearsay from every side. two coworkers complained about each other to me in the same afternoon and i nearly blacked out from the rush

Washing ashore must feel good as fuck

We need to conquer space travel for the only reason that zero-g would allow for new never before seen pastries, you know how the top of the muffin is the best part? Well that is because it is exposed to air so it changes the chemistry, in normal earth gravity it is impossible to make a muffin that is all top part because it needs to be placed somewhere which would restrict air flow, however in zero g it would be possible to make a bubble out of muffin dough which gets optimal airflow and becomes an all-top part muffin... This is the dream...

i love you archival work. i love you alphabetizing. i love you sorting. i love you reshelving. i love you document restoration. i love you shelf reading. i love you inventorying. i love you analysis. i love you archival work.

wow dude jts so awesome that your car is loud as fuck and smells worse when it drives past. thags fucking epic man. i really like how it hurts to listen to you drive past and it scares people. thats awesome man. i really like your car that makes a loud as fuck fart sound. fucking epic dude

Made a good cup of coffee #dalecooper #twinpeaks #coffee #coffeelovers #foolserrand

there are days where NO ❌️ video games are played and there are days where video games are played for 10 or maybe 14 hours straight

Bitches wanna buy their boyfriends the latest consoles but when was the last time he CONSOLED you? ps 5 years ago

I think going too deep into anything should warrant a balrog. You scroll too far down on your phone when you should've gotten up an hour ago, you've spent all afternoon sleuthing to figure out why your mom's former neighbour whom you haven't seen since you were 15 and don't give a fuck about got a divorce, you've been ruminating the same situation over and over and over, and a big fuckass beast thing shows up to stop you because you have delved too deep and now you have to fight the balrog.

*walks around my house in a tank top and underwear like im the only playable woman in a david cage game*

finding a new doctor. applying for jobs. searching for apartments. messaging used car dealers. getting your health insurance to do their job. getting a pharmacy to do their job. getting the dmv to accept the documents they told you to bring. just listing things they probably make you do in hell