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@cheshireinthemiddle

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I will never get over this joke Futurama was so important
If you could have a pokemon moveset for yourself, where it's used for everyday life instead of battling, what would it be?
Just off the top of my head, I could see myself with
Teleport (I hate driving)
Copycat (I learn quickly and also I can copy other people's moves)
Life dew (I genuinely would heal people if I could)
Diamond Storm (Self defense, pretty, can make a lot of money)
nothing? Guess I'm the only one in this hypothetical universe with pokemon moves.
Tumblr simulator

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Customers asked for hot wings for catering, but "As hot as you can possibly make it". They specifically asked us to burn their tongues off.
I asked for details on the desired spice level and was repeatedly told to just add whatever I could to make it "impossibly hot". I offered to use a specific blend of peppers for the homemade sauce for an additional price and they agreed. I then offered them to come in the day before and taste the homemade wing sauce before we made their order the next morning. They declined.
Day of (today), they called and demanded a refund because the wings were too spicy for their guests to enjoy.
They arent getting a refund.
I wanna try these wings.
They werent even that hot. I graciously made them only hot enough that you could still taste the flavors of the sauce.
I've had wings so spicy that I couldnt taste anything, only feeling textures. Where you could feel your heartbeat in your lips and tongue. Where even breathing in the sauce as you chewed was painful.
The sauce we made was easy mode.
And with YOUR help, we can make him feel even worse!
Why is everyone shitting on Chris Pratt lately? Did I miss something????
TL;DR That idiot Page accused him of being homophobic, and it stuck, despite the "evidence" being the equivalent of "I knew this guy who knew this guy who said..."
So, they’re basically angry at him over nothing, he’s just the latest acceptable celebrity target?
Pretty much, yeah.
That is incredibly stupid.
There's also "I assumed from his religion he was homophobic".
While all this is true, and definitely the reason he’s so widely hated, the recent media backlash has nothing to do with him being “homophobic.”
It has to do with him writing an Instagram message complimenting his wife where he thanked her for giving him a healthy daughter, meanwhile his ex wife is currently taking care of their son who has numerous health issues.
Which yeah it’s kinda a dick move ngl but tbh if any other celebrity did this no one would bat an eye, but because it’s Chris Pratt and Chris Pratt is a Christian who met his wife in church and who hasn’t been vocal about politics so people assume he’s a homophobic alt right nazi despite zero evidence, this made big news.
The whole Instagram post was about him complimenting his wife.
Literally just “wow my wife is so sweet and cool and I’m a goober who helps her open jars of pickles.” It wasn’t “MY CURRENT WIFE IS SO MUCH BETTER, NOT LIKE THAT OTHER WIFE WHO BIRTHED A DISEASE-RIDDEN TROGLODYTE.” Saying that a child is healthy is a common thing parents do. The child is safe and being well cared for.
It’s not an attack on his former wife and other child. It’s him gushing about his current wife. Everyone does that! And yet people are calling it cringy and offensive??? It’s just a dude saying that he loves his wife. I thought Tumblr was all about guys loving their wives.
It’s just idiots on the Internet trying to pick apart someone because it’s trendy to do so. People call him a homophobe and a Trump supporter but I have yet to see any actual fucking proof of either of those. It’s just shitting on him for being Christian.
And before you say I’m a butthurt Christian, I don’t associate with Christianity anymore. My mother used the religion against me and I don’t have any religious leanings. I just think it’s fucking stupid to attack people on the basis of religion because some other people in the religion do shitty things. Because, you know, any big enough group is gonna have people who are bad in it!
Yeah, those people tearing him down need an ass kicking.
People really will read the most innocuous of posts in the worst possible way, won't they?
Also Chris Pratt voicing Mario is his agent's fault. Most actors go where the money is and based on what their agents tell them to do.
You want men who respect and love their wives, but crap all over men who do just that.
Safety warnings from the Nintendo Wii’s Japanese manual
by Christian Spencer
Coworker: Rednecks and southern whites catchin' catfish by just sticking their hands in the water is so f*ckin primitive and stupid. My god, they're stupid.
Me: European immigrants actually learned that from Native Americans.
Coworker later that day: Well catching fish that way has its merits. If you really think about it, it actually has a lot of advantages. Super smart.

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Abduction, by Maria Panfilova
She doesnt seem to be hating it.
"If I was alive back then, I would have housed every suffering black slave."
Sir, you cant even be bothered to house the homeless person on your block, much less look him in the eye. You couldnt be bothered to house a single immigrant. Add on the bacon bits of actual laws banning it and massive social backlash from your peers, you definitely would not have housed and protected black slaves back then.
I recently saw this in action.
"I would welcome every immigrant fleeing ICE into my home and protect them."
and like a few posts down was "There's so many homeless people in my area now. They're ruining my favorite spots😟"
Like...You have people in need right there. Go ahead, invite them into your home. Invite them all.
"Sorry, the homeless people don't have enough Victim Points™."
Reminds me of this stupid post a while back;
I love how their baffled silence at the stupidity is supposed to be a victory. The person might've meant something like a government training program.
The obvious difference is that the person in the story wasn't actually virtue signalling. Just saying that homeless people should meet the same standards as everyone else.
And they were actually doing the things they said everyone should do.
If I've got spare cash, I give any homeless person I run into $20. I've had to reduce that recently due to my own needs for saving, but I also don't make outrageous claims like these fuckers.
Virtue Signalling is tiring. But also calling it out is unpopular because people mistake it for not caring about the issue.
Slightly off topic, but I'm reminded of when that director with Tourettes shouted the N word at the awards ceremony and got blasted on Twitter by virtue signaling shitbags. A few of which were like "If I had Tourettes, I would simply not have a racial slur loaded in the chamber when having a tick" and another which, I'm not exaggerating and I'm BARELY paraphrasing here, said "If I had Tourettes, my ticks would be 'Free Palestine', 'Trans Rights', 'Fuck ICE', and 'Vote Blue'!".
Virtue signalers tend to out themselves as rotten apples spraying perfume on their stank to look like good ones and STILL failing.
Shouldve told em that's ableist.
"If *I* had that disability, I would be able to handle it in a way that wouldnt inconvenience others!"
Amy Schumer tries to “prank” Kanye West by diving in front of him and pretending to pass out, Kanye reacts by walking away
where is the border between these two photos Kanye looks like he’s walking between parallel worlds
IE: They wasted money they didn't need to over moral panic. And it ended up being a massive fucking virtue signal. IMAGINE MY SHOCK >.>
The story claiming there were hundreds of bodies, circulated internationally for weeks.
The news about how they found nothing? No major headlines, you basically have to find out on your own.
Please post direct sources, not AI screenshots, FIHM.
Grok cites all it's claims they were just not posted here.
No evidence of human remains has been found during the excavation of a Catholic church basement on the site of a former Manitoba residential
https://nationalpost.com/news/canada/five-years-after-kamloops-graves-announcement-not-a-single-confirmed-burial-site-has-been-found-heres-what-we-know
That's better.

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When a woman goes "kill all men" it isn't a betrayal of feminism and she's not being actually destructive. There is a relation of violence between men and women as classes that goes only one way
It is an analogous situation when people who have been in some way affected by US hegemony say similar things about USamericans
At the same time, posting isn't praxis, and being nice online isn't internationalism, hence being mean online isn't anti-internationalism
US racial dynamics are US racial dynamics and not international racial dynamics (there is no such thing)
Hopping on a hate wagon over this is twitter behavior. Leave the tumblr Russians alone, there is no consequence to inflammatory posts about yanks. ICE isn't getting their justification from Russians on tumblr
Feminism *claims* to be against sexism. So anyome who truly believes feminism is equality/anti-sexism should see "killallmen" as a betrayal of feminism.
"kill all men" is either a murder/genocide joke (which are objectively worse than rape jokes), or it's a serious call for violence against a group for how they were born.
Neither is a good look for feminism.
I was blocking people via this l*rd-whoreon blog(transandrodork doing a 'what about men' on a post about murdered trans women) and just.
the absolutely evil url 'socialm*rderer' i really do hate these people. I hate how their disgust for trannies has been overlaid with like 10 layers of internet discourse chicanery and misdirection. I hate how noticing this shit will have you feeling actually speechless because where do I even begin explaining how insidious this shit is. this person is reblogging the blog socialm*rderer alongside posts about how all the trannies are just such big meanies!! wahh!!
Also, the idea that "physical castration would prevent rape" is genuinely disgusting and regressive. Not only does it imply that only people with penises can be rapists [a statement beloved by transmisogynists], it implies that rape only occurs when a penis is involved. That it doesn't count when someone uses their hands, an object, their mouth. That it's not rape when there's coercion, when there's inebriation, when there's an unequal power dynamic - it is only rape when someone with a penis forcibly penetrates someone else.
This is, of course, a line of thinking key to misogynistic rape culture. It is antithetical to feminism.
Actually, the idea that only men can be rapists is pretty popular in the feminist movement.
Influential feminists abd feminist groups responsible for making studies on sexual violence and influencing rape definitions in various countries openly atate that women cant be rapists/abusers.
Countries that tries to make rape gender neutral have actually been opposed by feminist groups.
To blame "rape culture" or "patriarchy" for ideas and beliefs that are promiment and perpetuated in the feminist movement is just silly.
But at least you acknowledge that women cam be rapists. Which, unfortunately, puts you in the minority of the world, partially die to feminism.