Comfort me with apples

Being a writer is wild because one minute you’re convinced you’re a genius and the next you’re googling ‘synonyms for walk’ like you’ve never used language before.

Spike turning his mother into a vampire then killing her when she tries to fuck him...*chef's kiss* depraved! Brava!

“This recipe is perfect for weeknights—it only takes 30 minutes!” and and the first ingredient is an entire butternut squash cut into 1-inch cubes

still so funny to me that gross has another meaning besides icky and is used seriously all the time. your gross annual income. your disgusting nasty amount of money you earn the whole year. pathetic

Lets out a single pitious whimper and then doesn't elaborate

i'll just say what we were all thinking. the paris catacombs are lowkey performative as hell

till deactivation do us part

im so sad this is from a deactivated blog i feel like i just found a heartfelt message in an old locket at a garage sale

me, adding a new tag to my block list: I’m so glad my beloved mutual has discovered a new source of joy

they should invent a music you can have sex with

I cannot stop laughing at the idea that socialism ignores humanity’s highest spiritual ideal: owning yachts.