the strident hisses of a nobody

So scary to like a mutual's post because what if they remember they hate me and then shoot me with a gun

Hate when I'm trying to find my luggage at the baggage claim but they all look the same. Many such cases.

my new poker strat: start tearing up after looking at my cards no matter what i got

is it even ethical to flavor blast a goldfish

god I'm such a slut for Chinese eggplant in garlic sauce *decides it’s inaccurate to refer to myself as a slut in light of my minimal sexual activity* if The Enemy discovered my ardor for Chinese eggplant in garlic sauce, they would gain a significant strategic advantage

This is one of your worst posts yet man

You called me dirt sucking poor and told me my carrot looks like a cock