Background Character A

if my liege lord looks at another soldier vassal in fellowship I'm going to *remembers suicide is an affront against the almighty* take a common grain rat as a wife

my favorite thing about navigating fanfiction is finding a really good one and being all “oh boy this was good, I hope they have more!” and literally every other story they’ve ever written was for like Miami Vice 

#a lot of the time this happens because someone in their 40’s got into 1 new thing and threw a fic at it before resuming business as usual#like sorry gang they’re not a youth who’s weirdly into your mom’s shows they’re your mom who played genshin impact

my friends hate this video so much i don’t even have to repost it in discord anymore i’ll just be in a voice call and go “wouldn’t it be crazy if the joker could beatbox” and they all tell me to go kill myself

Official graveyard post

someone just literally interrupted me mid conversation to tell me “what wonderful big dark eyes i’ve got” and on the one hand extremely flattering that she couldn’t even wait until the end of my sentence to comment on this, on the other hand did she have to say it like im the big bad wolf

"yeah I'm doing okay haha, just going through it ^^'" - girl who will burst into tears if you give her a hug

i do accomodate people with disabilities when they collect my pages btw

thank you Slenderman! can I wear earplugs? the static is a bit overstimulating

yes you can 👍

I love you Slenderman. can you kill my boss.

i love you too and i cant leave my forest but if you send your boss over to me i can probably arrange something

I must sleep. Sleep is the mind-healer. Sleep is the big-life that brings total ability to fucking do anything. I will face my bed. I will permit the blankie to pass over me and snores to pass through me. And when sleep has gone past I will turn the outer eye to greet the new morning. When the sleep has gone there will be everything. Energy and will to live will remain.

For thousands of years humanity has selectively bred chickens to have larger breasts and to have to lay eggs constantly. We did it to get more meat and per chicken, but from the perspective of the domesticated chickens they’re sorta living in a very specific fetish scenario

batmans secret special attack is offering all of his enemys henchmen a living wage and guaranteed healthcare

I like how this is phrased as if Hozier is some rando

''what if you regret it'' then you will expirience regret - a normal and unavoidable part of the human expirience.

the more you twist yourself into a pretzel to avoid regret the harder it will hit when it eventually catches up to you.