you're running after something that you'll never kill

Your therapist asks you "Who in this image do you see yourself as?" and then shows you a drawing of two shirtless skinny anime catboys with a thread of saliva going between their lips

It was actually just an ink blot but thank you, this gives me a lot to work with

I think it's a very subjective thing and heavily varies on what social context you're in. Personally even in friendly conversation I have a lot of trouble using "tu" over "vous" for visibly older people

yeah age is definitely a big part of the deal. children and teens are almost always 'tu' (except specific context, usually professionals: nurses and cops called me 'vous' when i was 12/13, store employees will vouvoye you regardless of your age and you should vouvoye them regardless of theirs...) but adults to adults convos are the minefield. called my boss "tu" the other day and started sweating bullets.

When I see a video of a cat minding its own business with nothing else going on I unmute immediately cause I know that mf is about to make a funny noise

pushed over by ghosts! sad

ok see the problem with umineko is. hold on there's an image that explains this

the Masters of the Universe remake makes this video relevant again which means we are in the best timeline

the among us show might genuinely be cinema i just watched a crewmate handle an actual fucking g-string

this show is rated tv-pg yet has shown multiple shots of a character flipping us off with both hands which has led me to believe every other tv-pg director is a coward

GLaDOS voice: "Would you like to see some artwork I generated? I've heard from other test subjects that AI-generated artwork produces an uncanny valley response in human viewers because they can't perceive it as fully real. They've told me that it looks absolutely hideous to them, that they can't imagine anything more disgusting than AI art. But, well I've been practicing and wanted your honest opinion. Feel free to let me know how ugly you find this by ranking it on a scale from 'vomit-inducing' to 'eye-bleeding'." A robotic arm lowers from the ceiling holding a hand mirror up to Chell's face

I get that sex and drugs are fun but even im like. at least have a 3rd thing. at least one more hobby. you can have a 3rd hobby. this isnt a purity thing this is a some of u are fucking boring thing.

rock & roll

girl i just walked into that one like a coyote with a painted tunnel

do you ever tell people you’ll be going to sleep but then you don’t and you have to not do anything noticable online for the sake of it seeming as if you didn’t lie to them

this post is classic tumblr in a lot of ways but the one I appreciate the most is that the second post happened eleven years after the first one. one of these days I’m going to see a reply to a post by someone younger than the post itself and we’re all just going to have to deal with it

television history

i’ve been trying to explain this sketch to people for years

there is literally no way to explain this sketch it’s just a thing you have to see and even then I’m not sure why it’s so funny

“Dear Sister” is the rare SNL sketch making fun of a specific pop culture moment that transcended the thing it is a satire of. No one remembers the OC but the sketch is still wonderful regardless.

it’s the overlapping music cues that kill me

^^^^^ these people get it

I explained the concept of "blorbo from my shows" to my 71 year old immigrant grandfather because I referenced it in passing and I thought nothing of it, until today when he said "I think I'll watch peaky blinders tonight and see my blorbo from my shows" referring, of course, to Cillian Murphy playing Tommy Shelby

English isn't his first language so he's not super in touch with modern slang, so I've been accidentally teaching him to talk like a tumblr user. His favorite thing to say lately is "me when I'm a little hater" when he's like talking shit about the neighbor's son

(sobbing on the floor) i'm amazing digital worthless

i just feel like i lack an amazing digital purpose

*putting my hand in the cavernous space between what you are and what you pretend to be, and wiggling it around* woah haha is there meant to be that much emptiness here? lol are you like okay bestie? omg this kind of tickles my hand does this tickle your nothing? #yournothing <3

it's okay for you to find this post sexual. I put the sensual feeling in there on purpose. you don't need to do weird posturing about it.

a friend has informed me that this post made its way to bluesky. they're putting pieces of my soul on other websites. I want to hear about it any time you see one. collect my evil screenshots, like a slenderman but I'm fat.