the thinking woman's crumpet

fellatio is such an awesome word. sounds like a pasta. but be careful! wouldnt want to order that at a restaurant ... lest some nasty little creature get ahold of that thang

THE ORIGINAL? ON MY DASH

this post led to a series of events that had martin scorsese himself reacting to his alleged movie goncharov and it has less than 400k notes almost 3 years later?

@hellsite-hall-of-fame

and you may tell yourself: this is not my beautiful circus! and you may tell yourself: these are not my beautiful monkeys!!!

it doesn't have to get done, it just has to be perfect

This post is not an invitation for you all to explain mormonism to me I am fine not knowing about this

I can't put this in tags like a normal person because apparently Tumblr no longer lets you do long tags which is dumb and I hate it but ok. Long time ago when I was but a wee 14 years old kid living in a sleepy town in Northern Ukraine, one day my bestie told me: hey, have you heard about this new English speaking club at the city library? They say it's run by two guys that came here on a mission all the way from America. And I was like: what mission? And she told me they were supposed to be Mormons. I didn't believe her. I was convinced she was fucking with me because at the time I didn't think that Mormons were real. I honestly thought they were fictional and only existed as a gag in South Park. And then a couple of days later those two missioners actually showed up to our English class to promote their little conversion club. Those poor men stood in front of a bunch of 14 years old and told us they were Mormon and several of my classmates said: wait, Mormon? Like in South Park?, and from their pained expressions you could clearly tell that it wasn't the first time they had been asked that here.

driving my chevy to the levee today

what the fuck

do you think salt gets mad being pinched all the time

computah, remove ai from everything

computah, destroy all ai data centers

joining a follycule and making bad decisions together

i think friendslop as a term is soooo fucking funny. ironically mildly derogatory term for something that's only good because you are just doing it to hang out with your friends. im not saying it's a misnomer or anything in fact i think we need to broaden the concept to apply to a lot of non video game stuff retroactively. bowling is highkey friendslop

The light inside an oven is crucial to getting breads to rise. Without the light inside simulating the sun, the bread can't tell which way is up, leaving it twisted and ruined.

strange to think "private boarding school" is real & not invented for exploring relations between the wealthiest student and the student on scholarship

Project Hail Mary was such a good movie but I cannot stop thinking about how fucking funny it would have been if Ilyukhina and Yao had made it instead of Grace

The Beetles (boring name AU) arrive back on earth and Stratt opens the video diary and it's Ilyukhina and Yao going "sooooooo your pet twink didn't make it"

Imagine them taping Grace's glasses onto Rocky's exosuit and hoping she doesn't notice like a pair of exhausted parents swapping out their four year old's dead goldfish for a new one