the thinking woman's crumpet

the u.s. having 50 states is so fucking extra. imagine if canada had 50 provinces. like what we are even doing at that point. pull yourself together.

Wouldst thou like to live fergaliciously

Dahling you simply must read this book! It’s all about this devious little caterpillar who simply gorges himself on all manner of divine things

I’d love to relax but it’s just not realistic

sometimes u headcanon a character as a sexuality but then also ship things that contradict that. sometimes you ship things you would NEVER EVER want in canon. this is because these things are fun and silly and not legally binding.

Yeah I don't know where some people got this idea that fanfic is always like, auditioning to replace canon or being posited as "better" than canon, as opposed to people just borrowing the characters to play with in the sandpit for a while before putting them back in their box

but actually genuinely why is the ant sad and leaving with a bindle

"Summon ketamine ape is a banned spell" fuck it fine whatever, I summon a normal gorilla. I summon some ketamine.

starting the countdown until gaylors start saying that Adam Sandler officiating Taylor's wedding (sorry if this is how you found out) is actually proof that it's a sham because it's a reference to I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry (2007), in which Sandler and Kevin James play heterosexual men who enter a mutually beneficial fake gay marriage, a dynamic that Taylor is inverting as a queer woman pretending to be straight while cleverly flagging the obvious farce to those with the eyes to see

this is worst than finding out from a castiel meme

do NOT google "omega heat"

prayers for the people googling "omega heat" for the first time

maybe next year instead of amateur fireworks on every block for hours and hours we can try holding up a single beautiful flower

pollo👍

I like how the snake is also a chicken.