the thinking woman's crumpet

boss makes a lemon i make a lime. we work at the citrus factory

You know how we call things "pseudoscience"... the media analysis that's being done on twitter and tumblr should be pseudohumanities

y'know i don't really love how people use "butch" interchangeably with "handy"

*north american approaching lesbian couple* so which one of you is useful and which one of you is the woman

i literally cannot convey how long i fucking laughed after i realized that boobytrap backwards is partyboob

i really hope that this does not end up being the text post that defines my entire tumblr career

hi so yeah im trying to find the hotel california and i know i have to take the highway to hell but i accidentally turned left onto the boulevard of broken dreams. i took the first hard right onto the rocky road to dublin cuz i thought it would loop back around but it didnt lol and i know im waaaaaay off course bc i just drove by the house of the rising sun haha. so how many miles until i get to the hotel

i need crossword puzzles to stop giving me sports clues. dont ask me about football stars and nba championships and baseball team names. im the kind of nerd who chooses to do crossword puzzles why would you expect this of me. cruel and unusual.

instead of “this person made good art so they can’t be a bad person” try looking at it like this: “this person made art so they can’t be a good person”

say what u want about the manscaped ads I know they are shit, all of them but the “evil, sinister, malcontent, balls” one puts me into fucking hysterics actually

bad thoughts at night/poster’s delight… but those posts by the morning/scrollers take warning

not to be corny but one’s radical politics should stem from a love for humanity