To quote Mufasa "Ahhhhh!"

"I bought this before Elon went crazy" stickers now bipartisan

the things i would do to have sports betting recriminalized

so who else started getting sportsbook ads after reblogging this 🔪

your unreliable narrator fucking bit me

thats not how they told it

man imagine getting an anal exam from carlisle. i know the mans a good doctor but his fingers are chilly….

Would he like??? Boil his fingers before hand???

certified iconic post

sory i bought polymer clay earings from uour wifes etsy store and cast one of her thumprints and used it to access your family safe and i stole your comically large bagof money with dolar signs painted on it

Just caught myself thinking “wow there must be like no ships in this fandom because they’re all siblings” and then I remembered 

People are tagging this post with all kinds of different fandoms but what really gives me whiplash is that MULTIPLE people have tagged this as “teenage mutant ninja turtles” 

My boss was like “Do you have any idea how much money we’re losing” like who cares, it’s not like they would give it to me otherwise

Have our investors tried making coffee at home and not eating out so much?

This twink wishes he was HALF the weirdo.

I love how this sentence could apply in either direction

no it couldn't. show gonzo some respect.

giving animals goofy haircuts is great because its silly yet technically a victimless crime