Well this has gone completely fucking pear-shaped.

public defenders get behind me. i’ll defend you this time

“so you like criminals?” I LIKE THE RIGHT TO A FAIR TRIAL.

me and the boys have a couple of chains wrapped around the sword in the stone hooked up to mikes toyota tundra gonna pull that fucker out like a tooth.

Me and the boys misunderstood the arcane nature of the stone and now the Toyota is king of England

therapyspeak jigsaw: are you in the right headspace to play a game that could possibly hurt you?

ive never been able to take "climb him like a tree" as a sexual innuendo seriously because i picture climbing a tree in my mind and then i picture a tall man in my mind and when i put those two things together im not seeing anything sexual. im seeing like. circus tricks.

being a trans woman with a vagina is so cool because i get 2 g spots and a clit. she can do it all

[ID: Tumblr comment. "so! a neovagina has the g spot you'd expect, on the front wall of the vagina at a fairly shallow depth, you reach it by curling your fingers up. what you're feeling when you stimulate the g spot is the bundle of nerves and tissue at the root of the clitoris, which is why it's so sensitive. however, at a further depth in the vaginal canal, you eventually run up against the prostate, which is all still intact after surgery. so that's a whole other g spot, which makes deeper penetration feel great too! and then of course outside the vagina is the clitoris itself, which can be stimulated all sorts of ways, in tandem with the internal g spots. vaginas are so cool" End ID]

Look, I realize that the whole Schrodinger's Mitch thing has real political consequences on a national level, but since I'm not from Kentucky and have no say whatsoever in the outcome of the situation, I'm honestly just finding the entire thing grimly hilarious. Has Horrible Turtle Man died? We don't fucking know! Turns out senators can just not show up to work indefinitely and there are no consequences! What fun!

Cannot believe this post is still relevant completely unedited. This timeline is utterly off the rails.

You can’t Abstain your way to a Better World.

erika kirk being handed the golden opportunity to be the face of conservatives for the rest of her life and then fumbling it instantly by being genuinely unlikable and off-putting will always be funny to me almost as funny as remembering that charlie kirk got shot in the neck and died

"we detected a mature post" yeah I'm in my 30s