mysterious and precise

[ID: Rough black-on-cream print of a loon in water, depicted doubled and conjoined in 180° rotation like a royal on a playing card /end ID]

there is a hockey team that exists right now that consists solely of defensive pair mae batherson and kendall cooper alone in the middle of the desert

"it would be so good if it was good" will haunt you but "it's extremely good, except for the one or two parts which are so bad it's genuinely kind of insulting" will straight up drive you insane

@/teaboot

This isn't even a joke it's just what we do

Dear Laura, it's me, Shoresy. I'm speaking to you through this pimple farmer for two reasons. One, I'm busy doing what I have to do to get a girl like you. And two, I wanna show this zit face what it takes to get a girl like you. I'm sure you wish it was someone better looking reading this, but if you can believe it, he's the least ugly of the for four. Mason, the guy in the truck, is the most ugly. You asked me to fuck off for the summer and figure out if I'm sure about you and about us. It's been a long summer of reflection and consideration. But mostly pullin' on it. More than I want to admit. Laura, much more of this and I'm gonna pull that thing right off. I've also used this time to finally read "The Five Languages of Love" and I'll tell ya this: that book is for broads. The five languages of love are words of affirmation, quality time, physical touch, acts of service, and receiving gifts. 224 pages for five things any dumb fuck is doing for their sweetie, without even thinking about it, if they're really into them. That's what I've been doing while you denye deny my affection. Puttin' in the work. Today, I ran a marathon. Even though you probably don't remember telling me to. I'll run another one tomorrow if you want. I'll run another one right now. Tell me what to do and I'll do it, 'cause this is the summer I close on Laura Mohr.

there has never been a character as horrendously down bad for someone as shoresy is for laura mohr. he'd take a header off the bridge of nations just to brush arms with her. he'd do a full gainer down the crack in killarney just to hold her purse. he'd tongue-kiss a toaster just to vacuum her car. he'd take his eyebrows off just for a high five from her. he'd bite into a beehive just to hose out her bins. these are all direct quotes from the show btw