Story time:
In middle school biology, we did an experiment. We were given yams, which we would sprout in cups of water. We then had to make hypotheses about how the yams would grow, based on descriptions of yam plants in our books, and make notes of our observations as they grew.
Here’s what was supposed to happen: we were supposed to see that the actual growth of the plant did not resemble our hypotheses. We were then supposed to figure out that these were, in fact, sweet potatoes.
What actually happened was that every single student in every single class lied in their notes so that their observations perfectly matched their hypotheses. See, everyone assumed the mismatch meant they had done something wrong in the process of growing the plant or that they had misunderstood the dichotomous key or the plant identification terminology. And, thanks to the wonders of a public school education, everyone assumed the wrong results would get us a failing grade. We were trying to pass. We didn’t want to get bitched out by the teacher. Curiosity, learning, science - that had nothing to do with why we were sitting in that classroom. So we all lied.
The teacher was furious. She tried to fail every student, but the administration stepped in and told her she wasn’t allowed to because a 100% fail rate is recognized as a failure of the teacher, not the class. It wasn’t even her fault, really, though her being a notorious hard-ass didn’t help. It was a failure of the entire educational system.
So whenever I see crap like Elizabeth Holmes’s blood test scam or pharmaceutical trials which are unable to be replicated or industry-funded research that reaches wildly unscientific conclusions, I just remember those fucking sweet potatoes. I remember that curiosity dies when people are just trying to give their superiors the “right” answers, so they can get the grade, get the job, get the paycheck. It’s not about truth when it’s about paying rent. There’s no scientific integrity if you can’t control for human desperation.
This is the problem writ large in our current scientific communities, not just industry but academic - only correctness is rewarded, and this stunts us both in the types of questions we ask and in what we’re willing to do to answer them. The guardrails of science work when you are free to disprove your hypothesis, to find out “oh. that did NOT, in fact, work.” That is not a failure! That is still information about what you were trying to learn about! however, nobody wants to publish that. nobody wants to make stuff from that. So if you conduct your study accurately with an ambitious premise but fail? Welp. No more money for you, then.
So people ask questions in ways they know they can get right. And especially if the data is CLOSE, but not quite over the line of significance? Well. That could have been circumstance or error too, couldn’t it? Couldn’t we tweak it JUST a little, because I know in my heart what’s really happening, and keeping my lab open and my techs and students paid, my mortgage and student loans up to date…oh, we set these things in front of people and then expect them to be moral when all our current metrics are poised to punish them for it, and then we blame people for falsifying data. And that before taking into account the grifters who think they’re owed personal fame and glory and have NO compunctions about lying as long as they think they can get away with it.
Don’t get me wrong. I think falsifying data is bad and we pay for it in coin up to and including peoples’ lives, and a lot of people who do it are not poor little meow meows but privileged and powerful people who feel entitled to whatever they want, including success. But i also think when this is the system they operate in, it’s going to keep selecting for liars rather than keeping the honest people, not because they’re bad scientists but because they weren’t profitable for their company or their university.














