Books and love 🌈

Malysh." His voice sounds rough and the word sounds unfamiliar on his lips. He's never called Misha that before, but now it's all he can think to say.

He falls into Misha's arms. Maybe Misha falls into his. Maybe the universe threw them against each other because it knew that's where they both belong.

Misha can see the question coming from a thousand miles away and he still isn't ready for it.

"—exchange you had with Ilia at the end—"

The reporter continues on but he's already stopped listening. Misha's English isn't great, but he gets the idea. Knows it for sure when he hears it in Russian through the translator.

He knows what he can't say before he knows what he can. I asked him to let me fuck him later in front of the entire world and he said yes. We've been doing this for so long that we only need a single word to ask. You don't know the Russian but go back and watch the video, you see him nod his head at the end? He said yes. It's how I'm going to celebrate. I know he needs me right now. It's fucked up how much I love it when he needs me. As soon as I'm done here I'm going to fuck his brains out and hold him while he cries because he needs me and I can't even tell anyone.

He hears himself talking, eventually. Finds some words that he's allowed to say.

"—he said, 'you deserve it'—"

I know I do. I deserve Ilia tonight, too. Get enough drinks in him and he'd probably tell you. Well, no, he wouldn't. You don't know how he is, but I do. But he would say I deserve everything I want. And I want him. I've always wanted him.

"—I told him it's unbelievable to share the ice with him—"

Because I couldn't tell him I love him. Do you know what it feels like to still feel a little devastated in the greatest moment of your life? If I tell you my baby needs me can we be done here?

“I think you were right. It’s so hard to not see you every day. I want the rest of our lives, yes, but I also want now. I want you in my arms like this every night. I want to wake up because you never learned how to be quiet. I want to get ready together, leave the house and go to the rink together. I want to know every single thing about you. I want…”

"Misha!

”A soft voice calls out to Mikhail, and all the weight of the figure skating world falls away. Here, under the New York sun, the man that greets him is not Ilia Malinin, two-time World Champion, Olympic hopeful, the shining star of Team USA, he’s just Ilia, clad in a soft blue hoodie, hair fluffy and sticking to his face from the wind, a smile on his face so bright it could rival every light Mikhail has ever skated under.