Theatrical & Thotty™

thinking about the casual intimacy of showing someone you love an unfinished work of art, the underlying message saying, i trust you with my unpolished heart

I found this camera on the subway and look what was inside...

I would marry this man

guys we broke another post because this one’s not showing any notes

When I liked it, it flashed “0 notes”

Yes.

There are political newspaper comics that aren't this succinct

What does my cat think when I kiss his little head? Does he know it’s affection or does he think I’m trying to eat him

These questions are totes why I follow you, top quality content right here

It’s important!

Well it depends. Do you try to put ketchup on him before kissing his head, that would change things :P

Yes. I put ketchup on my cat before I kiss his head.

This is a good note, thank you

This why they boop you. :)

This is also good to know, thank you!

Thank fucking god

THANK FUCKING GOD.

THANK FUCKING GOD

It saddens me that so many combatants in this post are dead now rip ☠

i hate the misconception that millennials (and younger generations) don’t care about outdoor activities like hiking, gardening, etc, or nature as a whole, and that all they care about is their phones. so many young people have told me they wish they could do an activity they loved and enjoyed in their youth, but their schedule is packed and when they get home they’re exhausted (and for friends who work late, the sun has been down for hours). young people care, but young people are tired

even funnier when someone on tumblr expects you to treat them as royalty for having a lot of followers like they are not also a tumblr user

#if you brag of your follower count here it's like announcing your clown shoe size

I have seen "/gen" as "genuine", too!

reblogging cause i forget what these mean and other people probably do too.

Reblogging bc as a neurodivergent person who’s got lot of grief from missing social cues and misunderstanding tone, these are super helpful and i wish people would use these more-

also jk is joking/just kidding

How does anyone hate kids they are so funny I sold tickets to incredibles to this little girl and her mom and she’s like mom are we sitting next to each other and the moms like ya and the kid screamed YES so loud it broke my ears

The other day I was bringing an older gentleman up the hill in a golf cart and we drove past this huge YMCA group of kids like 100 kids and driving past the first chunk like 10 of them yelled out “let me on” in unison and then since I’m driving so slowly to be safe, halfway in some kid leaned up and said “do you play fortnite” and I told him I played a little and he just pointed and shouted “THIS GUY PLAYS FORTNITE” and then like 20 kids started talking to me all at once about fortnite

A kid asked me if I lived in the ambulance. I said yes.

The hero we deserve

When I was on register at Kohl’s a little girl came through with her grandma and she was so very excited to tell me the meaning of her name (I think it was like warrior of god) and she begged her grandma for her phone so she could google to find out what my name means too

i wear two spinner rings on one finger and one time at my last job a young girl (probably 6-8) said “your ring is very pretty” and when i showed her it was two rings she GASPED and said “does that mean you’re marrying two people?!”

I have this necklace with a mermaid on it that I wear to work a lot and I got asked by a kid if it gave me magic powers. I leaned in real close and told her in a low voice it gave me magical girl powers but it was a secret. She got this real serious look on her face and said to her mom “that lady has superpowers, don’t tell anyone or the government will take her away”.

The other day i had to give a speech at my school despite my horrific fear of public speaking and afterwards i had kid come up to me and say well done to me. It was so cute.

god I love tiny kids

there was a kid in one of our science camps and he spent the whole week in a lab coat and goggles screaming “CHEMICALS” at the top of his lungs. he wouldn’t even tell us his name for the first two days just screamed CHEMICALS instead.

I was watching these kids at church today and one of them screamed and threw a toy car into the wall and it broke and the other one looked over calmly and said “does your insurance cover that?”

I was taking the drink order for a family at work and I asked their kid what he wanted to drink and he just looked at me with a completely deadpan expression and said “vodka” and me and the parents just fucking lost it

kid I used to babysit asked why my lips were different (she was two), and when I told her that it was because I was wearing lipstick, she yelled, “MAYA, I WANT LIPITZ.”

I work in a school and every time I draw anything on the board (I am a terrible artist and usually resort to stick men), the kids will all go ‘I love your picture, that’s a great drawing Miss’. So blindly supportive.

One time my younger brother ordered a “non-alcoholic fanta” at a hotel bar and the bartender lost his shit and I was never the same man

When I was student teaching, I was taking my fourth graders back from lunch and noticed one little girl looking longingly at the playground, where the younger kids were having recess. She heaved a big sigh and said, “I used to be that free.”

my work uniform looks very authoritative. one tween boy in a group saluted me nervously and said “hello, sir.” I’m a woman, but i just nodded seriously. A tween girl leaned out a car window and said with awe “you’re really pretty” and when i thanked her and complimented her pink hair another girl i didn’t even know was there leaned over and yelled “mine’s blue!” while holding her hair up to the window. and a little boy once leaned into the 8x8ft kiosk i sometimes work in and asked completely seriously “do you live in here??”

*showers with both male and female shampoos so i smell androgynous*

according to the packaging i now smell like almond milk, jasmine, and sports.

yall know that really long tumblr hat post? that but it’s patton with deceit’s hat

god i was thinking EXACTLY that or maybe just the word “society” in big curly letters

@jessibbb it’s ya boi

ahhh fUCK

Akdhhsjsks that’s amazing

This entire post is just amazing oh my goodness

Omfl yes this post is amazing

M'kay but NOW, we need REMUS to try on ROMAN’S sash because i need the ✨angst✨

me giving relationship advice: communicate or end it

like, i genuinely believe most problems in the average relationship can be dealt with if the people involved just had an honest, open conversation with each other. it doesn’t have to reach a resolution or be peaceable or anything, just hash things out. air out dirty laundry. all parties have a responsibility. one person can’t be doing all the work while the other just stonewalls, indefinitely. work your shit out, no matter how long it takes and how messy it is, bc that’s the test of love/friendship. you fail it if you end things prematurely, and you fail it if you unilaterally fashion yourself as the victim/wronged party and the other as the perpetrator/aggressor. a relationship should be 50/50, and that means taking on the share of the work it takes to mend and maintain relations when the going gets tough. relationships require effort, and a lot of it is just conflict mediation & resolution, which requires all parties to play their part. easier said than done, obviously, but that’s all the more reason to work at it

i know vitamin c basically neutralizes adhd meds but lemonade good

Reblogging to spread this ridiculously important info

Also if you are ANEMIC and take IRON SUPPLEMENTS DO NOT TAKE WITH CAFFEINE. No coffee, caffeinated tea, etc. The caffeine will block iron absorption and you won’t actually get any of that iron that you just took!!

#this ain’t some avant-garde titanic poly romance it’s a bunch of individual sinking ships and one uncaring human-shaped ice burg

The ice burg being frozen solid because there are NEVER ENOUGH SPACE HEATERS.

This is honestly so delightful and accurate 

The only situation where saying “I’ve never seen you with your clothes on” is a completely normal thing to say.