griffin we gotta fight some weeds at floor-twenty!

If you regret a permanent body alteration you got and your immediate thought is "raise the legal age for everybody who can do this" instead of "Maybe I, specifically, was a dipshit" you need to get Gotten by a mountain lion

the mercedes clr incident at le mans is one of the only racing crashes i feel comfortable laughing at because a) nobody was seriously injured and b) it is a little funny that mercedes watched their car do That and were like "okay. uh. you know what we're just never doing le mans ever again"

why did it do that?!!! HOW did it do that?!! 😭

something about "queers" instead of "queer people" makes my hackles raise

Opinion on the term i just made up: “Quaggot”

I'll allow it because it made me think of a gay duck

Women with big curly red hair always have like 12 gay guy friends why is that

something has to be done about mormons this cannot continue

the thing about work is that sometimes you will find the backrooms

homie is this an xmen porno

I see how you could get confused but that's actually me when a member of my Cougar Squad returns to my lair with more salacious dirt on one of my many enemies

That ace moment when you see an xmen porno Cougar Squad gif and all you can think is "ooh those special effects are pretty cool, I wonder how they did that?"

I did it with my powers.

You should use your powers to get a helmet that fits better