womanhood is a prison

I'm in a little local cafe and the women behind the counter started griping to each other, "Oh Christ, Stephen's back again," "It's him, is it? I thought he'd stopped coming," "It's definitely him, look, it's bloody Stephen on a Thursday morning," "Do you want me to get rid of him or are you going to do it?" and so I was peering outside, trying to spot this nightmare customer, this pestilence of a person, this pox upon the cafe trade, and then one of the women from behind the counter ran outside, clapping two trays together loudly and yelling "GET OUT OF IT, STEPHEN!" and it turns out that Stephen is an absolutely gigantic fuck-off seagull who hangs around outside, menacing people for crumbs

i was jumanji’d too when i was a kid but no one cared

i was also zathura’d. i got both jumanji’d and zathura’d. Statistical impossibility but sad and true

energy of an 85 year old who got freaky friday’d tbh

wait wait okay I have discovered people visiting the US for the first time and treating Yellow School Bus like a celebrity sighting and this is so pure and great. Yellow School Bus like in the movies is real.

I can, and arguably I must.

I always think that sport events, especially international ones, are primarily about fun and cultural exchange and hanging out together; it gets lost sometimes when people pay too much attention to keeping scores, but joy and building bridges should be more important. So glad this seems to be happening right now!

advice that has literally saved and improved my life

Yeah even if you have perfect color vision the "flavored" is invisible depending on the ambient lighting, I couldn't believe the audacity???

guy who plays albums on mute, it was never really about sound for him as much as feeling a sense of progression through a series of named durations

1920s guy driving a model t with a "i bought this before ford went crazy" bumper sticker