True Life Im Addicted To Sanders Sides

Hey y’all, my Etsy is finally live and taking orders ^^

NOTE BECAUSE I FORGOT!!!: 

I got lots of affection for this from @wisepuma23 as we discussed this AU and they came up with a lot of fun additions! The cake becoming sentient was Puma’s idea! PLEASE go give them love for it! <3<3 

[Patton] [Logan] [Roman/Remus] [Virgil] [Janus] [Thomas]

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SCP-011517 -  [ Patton - “The Cake Maker” ]

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-011517 should be housed in a standard Humanoid Containment Cell and provided with an excess of blankets, a television with access to children’s cable channels (with the commercials redacted), and soft clothing to keep the subject compliant. Under no circumstances is SCP-011517 to be given access to cooking utensils or appliances unless taken to designated testing chambers. All dietary requirements must adhere to the following preparation procedures and must prohibit the use of multiple eating utensils at once or SCP-011517-A or SCP-011517-B and could spontaneously manifest………

PLEASE OPEN EACH PAGE IN A NEW TAB TO VIEW IT BIGGER OR READ THEM ALL IN PDF FORM HERE! 

Or look in the read-more for a transcription. 

This is for everyone who listens to my Podfic on Youtube. I just updated the last story for the year, a wonderful fic written by @stillebesat. The artwork was done by @artfromthevoid. Please give it a listen. It is a wonderful story and I am super proud of some of the voice acting in this one!

Happy New Year everyone!

“…it’s a sword.” Virgil stared down at the blade in his hands. He’d expected mabye an umbrella, from the shape of the package. Or even a baguette, Roman was weird like that. But…

“Good to know your eyes are working, swiss alarmy-knife,” Roman returned, still looking at Virgil expectantly. He’d tugged Virgil aside soon after the Secret Santa gifts had been given, telling him he had an extra of his own. But Virgil never could’ve predicted this.

“It’s a sword,” Virgil repeated, utterly confused. “And you’re giving it to me.”

“Your grasp of the situation is impressive.”

Virgil glanced between the black and silver hilted sword and Roman, fairly certain he was being made fun of. If only he could figure out how. “I don’t know what to…”

Roman raised an eyebrow. “You could try saying thank you.”

Virgil flushed, feeling sweat start to prickle along his backbone. “Sorry. Um. Thank you, Roman. It’s very..pointy?”

“Yes, I thought your might prefer stabbing to slashing,” Roman said, as if Virgil’s words had actually made sense. “But don’t worry, the tang runs the full length of the hilt, it’s strong. And you can still use the edge and flat if you like, a broadsword is really half bludgeon, though I’ll thank you not to tell Logan I said so.”

“Oh…okay,” Virgil agreed, deciding not to ask. He didn’t want to know what argument Logan and Roman were having at the moment. “But that doesn’t explain…why? I mean, why for me?”

Roman blinked at him. “It’s not obvious?” he asked, brow furrowing.

“Uh…no,” Virgil admitted. Shit. Should it have been? Should he be getting this? But…but no, it didn’t make any sense…

“A knight must have a sword,” Roman said. “A Champion Protector even more so.”

“Okay…” Virgil said slowly. “I get that’s why you have one, but…”

“Oh no!” Roman interrupted him, shaking his head emphatically. “I’m not the Champion, I’m a knight, of course, but I’m not Thomas’s protector, Virgil. You are.”

Virgil stared at him, his mouth dropping open. “I…what?”

“Isn’t it obvious?” Roman asked again, as if it should be, as if he weren’t speaking absolute insanity. “You’re Thomas’s Champion, his knight protector. You keep him safe from all evil, you sacrifice your own safety and comfort for his, you do everything you can to ensure he survives. You’re as great a knight as any I’ve known. And so you need a sword.”

“I…you…really?” Virgil managed, his voice cracking. Was Roman really…was Roman actually calling him an…an equal?

“Of course! Here, let me show you how to use it!” Roman seemed to take Virgil’s stunned silence for approval, and took the sword from his hand, drawing it from its black and purple sheath, demonstrating a few moves, his tunic twirling with him as he fought an imaginary adversary.

And Virgil watched, hugging himself tightly, clutching the sheath to his chest. He watched, as Roman made him a part of his fantasy realm, as Roman shared his excitement and world, as Roman, in his own way, showed that he had completely and finally accepted Virgil for what he did–and had given him a title to match.

Logan finds broadswords to be inelegant. While he knows they’re not as heavy and unbalanced as they’re generally portrayed in traditional media, they still represent more force than finesse. He was of the opinion that–if a sword was absolutely necessary as a symbolic representation of Roman’s obvious affection for and acceptance of Virgil–he should be given a rapier. It is actually designed to thrust, is slimmer if not lighter and is, in his opinion, much more aesthetically pleasing.

Roman pointing out that medieval knights did not carry rapiers was an inadequate argument so far as Logan was concerned, because neither did they carry katana.

As Roman considered himself above answering this very hurtful and petty remark, and retreated honorably from the verbal battlefield, no final conclusion was agreed upon. 

TS tweet december 19, 2021 :

❄️❄️ winter wonderland ❄️❄️

Logan

Patton

Roman

Virgil

Janus 

Remus

Thomas