Songs Signifying Nothing

can we stop pretending that yuna hollander doesnt swear or like swearing. one of the first things she says about ilya is “fuck him. fuck him right up the butt.”

Faramir meets Aragorn and sees he’s wearing Boromir’s bracers and comes to the conclusion that this scruffy-ass ranger who is also his king now is apparently his brother’s widower

Non-canon thing that Gondor has a tradition of wearing your spouse’s clothes that Aragorn somehow completely missed and now he has no idea why Faramir is calling him his brother-in-law

stop. analyse that text through the lens of its author's intentions and original historical context. okay now take the author out back and kill them dead and analyse that text as though it were published by your mutual yesterday and is in direct conversation the contemporary discourse that's most relevant to your life. okay now pick your favorite angle of interpretation and come up with the strongest possible argument against it. now imagine that the text is your best friend and that it means you well and that you naturally give it every benefit of the doubt because you're on its side and you want the best for it. now imagine that the text wants you dead and it'll eat you if you don't eat it first. now pretend that you found this text locked away in a cave with no evidence of when or where it came from and you have to divine its meaning solely through its internal coherence and nothing else. okay now address the elephant in the room aspect of the text you've been ignoring because you find it boring or confusing or uncomfortable and become the number one expert on it. now spend forty minutes assigning all the characters dnd classes with at least three sentences of reasoning each. okay now do the cha cha slide.

we really should be calling it fanworks, not content

I'm here for fun and community not to rp a mega corporation's underpaid social media intern

i think its so CRAZY CRAZY CRAZY shane has been forced to be bigger than he wants to be bc of all of his strife and obstacles he cant afford to seem weak or small so he has to be Strong and Big and ilya gives him a space to let that go and be small and let things happen to him and not force his strength. and ILYA has been fucking shut down and humiliated and dominated by his father and brother made Smaller than he wants to be but he cant be big to them and he can be biggEr in hockey but hes still put down abt it by his family and haters constantly and SHANE!!!! shane my god shane gives him a space to be big and be Unquestionably big and for someone to love him while hes being big and mean and dominating and hes never gotten that before. lets all live theyre literally perfect for each other theyre the oasis in a desert for each other for BOTH of them ilyas the only one for shane and shanes the only one for ilya too.

My heart is lighter than a feather and my liver is darker than a black coffee because that's what it's marinating in

Alas - I did go, but they were already sold out and I had content myself with the snacking bacon

From all of us, thanks for trying.

Official Post of Massachusetts

Arthurian knight kink, by which I mean our RP scene must be prefaced with a lengthy apologetics establishing that it totally happened exactly like this and any other chronicler who tells it differently is full of shit.

I'm going to need you to approach me three times in a series of increasingly flimsy disguises by which I will be utterly fooled, each time asking me one of these five riddles, and you have to act like you're genuinely mad when I get the answers wrong. I can't get it up if the scorn isn't sincere.

I've bumped into a fun new trend in deceptive mobile game awards where they list a whole bunch of awards, but instead of the awards just being made up, they're real awards that haven't happened yet, and there's a tiny piece of text clarifying that these are awards the game's developer expects it to win.

Like, there's absolutely no way that little disclaimer would hold water if they ever actually got slapped for false advertising, but you almost have to admire the nerve.