[witty name]

If Pornhub succeeds in buying tumblr what they should do is make a Tumblr and a Tumblr kids - with an option to transfer your account once you reach 18.

Omg. If pornhub buys Tumblr, it will be too funny. Because then some antis will like “Adults should’t be on fandom and tumblr, think about the childreeennn!” And we’re just like, “kids, this site is owned by pornhub. You’re the one who shouldn’t be here”

Instead of making up shitty racist headcanons about Miles shoplifting join me in headcanoning him picking up ballet because he thought Gwen being a ballerina was super neat and it would help him in his spiderman job

Spider strength he can’t control + Lifts = Hilarity

Miles, muttering to himself: do not yeet the ballerina. do NOT yeet the ballerina

measles outbreak on scientology’s cruise ship… but wow, what a moment

People are sending me kale recipes like they honestly believe I will try to eat bird food

I’m sorry I’m hung up on the part where op owns peacocks

And this goes for friendships too! Even just stuff like “do you mind if I leave this door open?” 

…I never fully realized it before but this is a big part of why my relationship with my husband is so conflict-free. Both because him doing this all the time made it easy to trust him, back when we were a new item, and because it helped ME break out of the toxic idea that you should never ask about a partner’s preferences because if you Really Loved Them you should be able to intuit what they want, all the time, about anything. 

interesting how this has become a meme in the music industry about divas. i’ve always heard jokes that amount to “this stuck up celebrity hates the green gummy bears!! they’re refusing to perform just for that???” and its reading stuff like this that i realise how that joke might have come about. people get grumpy that the band refuses to play but cant admit its because THEY’RE incompetent, so they make it all about the M&Ms. another example of artists using a creative method to ensure they have a perfectly reasonable request fulfilled that is then bastardised by lazy people who wanna make money off them. 

…this is like the music industry version of hearing the truth behind the McDonalds hot coffee lawsuit

Okay but…if someone wants to take me on a date to a Barnes and noble and get me dinner and a drink and then let me peruse the stacks like I’m not saying no. A sandwich, a beer, and 2-5 books on various topics I hope I’ll someday read about? Good night.

The Swedish equivalent of Blockbuster is now best known for its candy, snacks and sodas.

Take me to Buenos freaking Aires… Leave me in this bookshop… Never look for me, you will not find me again.

this is a lot

that baby/young elephant is so cute I love animals

Don’t ignore the baby.

Pay attention to meeeeeeeeeee

@tariqah

Baby…

yesterday for April Fool’s my workplace had a short training article on recognizing computer-generated faces from real ones and one of the tricks mentioned was “count the teeth” and I just wanted to say that it’s both ironic and kind of horrifying how society has unwittingly cycled right back to IF YE MEET A MAN ON THE ROAD, COUNT HIS FINGERS LEST YE DEAL UNKNOWING WITH A FAE 

Where’s that image with the self driving car that is trapped in a salt circle made of “do not cross” symbols that its software won’t let it disobey

they both look like werewolves except the top guy is from a video game where he constantly wrestles with his beast self and his human self and it’s a metaphor for the rage inside us all and he probably accidentally kills his girlfriend and the bottom guy is on a sitcom where he doesn’t keep track of the phases of the moon and his kids are always embarrassed when he turns into a werewolf at the movie theatre and eats all the popcorn