An obsidian mirror found at Catalhoyuk, 8,000 years old
“get the fries, you’ll need the energy in the coming days”
Cmon man

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@ebolazaire
An obsidian mirror found at Catalhoyuk, 8,000 years old
“get the fries, you’ll need the energy in the coming days”
Cmon man

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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if i was in charge of pitching lesbian heated rivalry i'd do a c4t kickboxing drama. young upstart black british muay thai fighter gets her shit knocked in by some racist female conor mcgregor type. retreats to thailand to lick her wounds and train for the comeback. she meets a woman in bangkok recovering from surgery who's like you know i used to be a champ and the girl is like i've never heard of you and she's like yeah i was a men's kickboxing legend but they kicked my ass out when i transitioned. now i'm bitter and jaded and would love nothing more than to make you my avatar of vengeance against the establishment that used me up and ruined my life. this club has everything: 1) antiracist revenge arc 2) toxic coachplayer lesbianism 3) neopussy 4) 30 year minimum age gap and you better believe they fuck NASTY. does anyone have several million dollars i can borrow to make this
cake is such an underappreciated band. i can’t believe we brought back low rise flare jeans before we brought back cake in the top 40
i’m just saying cake’s music would be widely regarded as so sexy if it wasn’t for all the mariachi horns and vibraslap and the vocalist didn’t always sound like he was explaining his suicide plans to a gun store clerk in sacramento. the world wasn’t ready for them
The fact that it sounds like a dispassionate reading of a terrorist manifesto is a feature
“Nobody’s going to want to sit on high-speed rail for fifteen hours to get from New York City to LA.”
Me. I will sit on high-speed rail for fifteen hours. I’ll sit on it for days. I’ll write and read and nap and eat and then do it all over again. I’ll stare out the windows and see America from ground level and not have to drive. I’ll see the Rockies and the deserts and cornfields and the Mississippi River and your house and yours and yours too. I’ll make up stories in my head about the small towns I see as we go along. I’ll see the states I’ve yet to see because driving or flying there is a fucking slog and expensive to boot. I’ll enjoy the ride as much as the destination. And then I’ll do it all over again to come the fuck home.
Me getting slammed with notifications on this post in particular:
i dreamt of a house with too many rooms, which sounds lyrical and all except most of them were just full of different kinds of couch
frat house piranesi :(
"the hall with the beer-stained microsuede sectional"
"the year i found a squirrel eating pretzel sticks under the cream-colored faux-leather love seat"

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Disable your ad blocker? For him?, gouache on paper.
look at this wonderful gif of scallops getting scared and scattering like a flock pigeons
whatever. go my scallops
last night I had the experience of "referencing a tumblr post that you think is widely known but turns out to not be as widely known as you thought it was" last night and it was this post. whatever. go my scallops
stop trying to silence me
remember that guy that had a single auditory hallucination that told him he had a brain tumor and the exact location and then he went to the doctor and it was fucking right

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apparently vic’s vapor rub goes exitinct ? i’ve been using the same vapor rub for years and apparenlty it went bad in the 2010s ..
expired .
[id. A twitter post by @/Bennieeexyz Jury duty letter came addressed to my cat. Not a mistake. "Felix Martinez" - that's his full name according to his vet records. My last name. His first name. Somehow he's a registered voter now. Called the county clerk. Me: My cat got summoned for jury duty. Clerk: Is the name correct on the summons? Me: Yes, but he's a cat. Clerk: Is Felix Martinez a legal resident of this county? Me: He's a legal cat. Clerk: Sir, if the name matches our records, he needs to appear or file an exemption. Me: He can't file anything. He has paws. Clerk: You can file on his behalf. Me: Under what exemption? There's no box for "is a cat." Clerk: (pause) Check "unable to serve due to medical reasons." Me: What's the medical reason? Clerk: He's a cat. Me: That's not a medical condition. Clerk: It is if it prevents him from serving. Sent in the form. Got rejected two weeks later. "Insufficient documentation. Please provide medical professional's statement." Took the letter to my vet. Me: I need you to write that my cat can't do jury duty. Vet: Why is your cat summoned for jury duty? Me: Excellent question. No good answer. Vet: This is the weirdest request I've gotten. Me: Can you just write that he's medically unfit to serve? Vet: On what grounds? Me: He's a cat. Vet: (started typing) "Patient is unable to serve due to species-related limitations including inability to speak, read, or comprehend legal proceedings." Me: Perfect. Sent it in. Got another rejection. "Summons is mandatory. Failure to appear will result in contempt of court." My roommate thought this was hilarious. Roommate: Felix is going to jail. Me: This is serious. Roommate: Bring him to court. See what happens. Decided that was actually the only option left. Day of jury duty, put Felix in his carrier. Brought the entire paper trail of rejection letters. Checked in at the courthouse. Clerk: Name? Me: Felix Martinez. Clerk: (looked at the cat carrier) Is that Felix? Me: Yes. Clerk: (long stare) He's a cat. Me: I've been saying that for six weeks. Clerk: Why didn't you file an exemption? Me: I filed three. All rejected. Showed her the letters. She read through them, expression shifting from confusion to disbelief. Clerk: Someone rejected the veterinary documentation? Me: Twice. Clerk: (called her supervisor over) You need to see this. Supervisor read everything. Looked at Felix. Looked at me. Supervisor: How did a cat get registered to vote? Me: You tell me. Supervisor: This is a data error. Me: Took you six weeks to figure that out. They dismissed Felix immediately. Apologized for the inconvenience. Supervisor: We'll remove him from the voter registry. Me: Appreciate it. Supervisor: (pause) Out of curiosity, how would he have voted? Me: Probably whatever party supports universal treats. Got a formal apology letter a week later and a voter registration card. For me this time. Apparently I wasn't registered, but my cat was. Roommate: Felix committed voter fraud. Me: Felix committed nothing. He's innocent. Roommate: That's what they all say. Felix is sleeping on the jury summons now. Fitting end to his legal career. end id]
No nipple top surgery + pasties combo so funny like. Wanna see something cool under these? Hah, its Nothing. #mynothing
a severe thursday warning is in effect. take shelter now.
we’re really at that point in the year where no one cares about anything huh
My psych professor mentioned swaddling in lecture so I emailed him a picture of me being swaddled in my dorm room and asked if I could get extra credit because it was really hot in there and I got really sweaty and he was like “fabulous, sure”
I’m going to miss the Honors Advisor from my university.
This is definitely my favorite email i’ve recieved from a professor, with the subject line “back at it”.
one of my all-time favorite emails

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I would like to share the story of a very understandable but unfortunate mistake i made at work recently
So I'm weeding our ancient and terrible collection of children's books for the first time in possibly ever, and I'm making a decision about a book about migrant workers by Sandra Weiner, called Small Hands, Big Hands. And I'm not 100% sure and I go to just see if there's anything out there about this book's being notable in any way so I do an open web search for
"small hands big hands weiner"
And then I look at my results for a moment
and then at last I somberly add to the end of my search, "BOOK"
I have one like that:
In mathematics, you often consider the two-dimensional plane - you know, the idealised flat two-dimensional object that extends infinitely - which can be real or complex (doesn't matter what that means)
On this, you can perform a mathematical operation called a "blow-up" (resulting in a more complicated geometry)
I needed to look up a formula related to this, so I confidently typed into the search bar:
"Blow up real plane"
The results were not what I wanted and I am not sure if I'm on a terror watchlist now.
This reminds me of my corsetmaker days when i found myself searching for "extra thick boning."
it's wild that popular discourse around migraines is that there are too many people who claim to have migraines but "just have bad headaches". this is the exact opposite of my experience? i'm still trying to convince several of my friends that their "bad tension headaches" that are unilateral, throbbing, cause light sensitivity, nausea, etc, are migraines lmao. migraine is underdiagnosed and undertreated by every metric i can think of.
this narrative is not harmless! it prevents people from getting treatment that could really benefit them. so i would like it to die. thank you.
As a guy who went to see a neurologist only to "rule out migraines" because I thought I had "tension headaches at worst and also it's not that bad really" only to realize by tracking my headache days that I have very bad chronic migraines just with no aura (most people with migraines don't have them), I co-sign this 100%.
Just starting abortive medications already improved my quality of life so much and now that my doctor started me on preventatives, I might actually be able to have more than a handful of headache-free days each month.
Migraine is frequently misdiagnosed as chronic sinusitis or tension headaches according to research. Mostly because people have a very rigid (inaccurate) idea of what it actually is.
But even if it's not migraine, you still deserve treatment for your headaches. Just because someone else has them worse than you doesn't mean you don't deserve relief.
Learning about the different types of migraine and headache disorders can help you better understand your symptoms and discuss them with you
yeah i found out awhile back that the 'pressure headaches' that i get that 'aren't that bad' (but still leave me feeling sick and dysfunctional all day) were migraines. i now take a low dose of a preventative medication and the number of shitty rain days i have per month has dropped from like ten to two. it's great.
In my experience anyone who has chronic pain of any kind ALWAYS under diagnoses it in part cause people who DON'T have chronic pain always tell them how it's Not That Bad Just Get Over It and it takes a lot of fighting to get anyone (including doctors) to do anything about it. Fucked if I know why. Everyone seems to think we're making it up. I've never met anyone who is making it up.