“Do dishes” and “take out trash” both require the use of a spell slot, vs “use phone” is a cantrip, and brother, I am a level one wizard

i think the crux of human misery stems from the fact that our skeleton just wants to sit around and accumulate dust in an ancient barrow (that is the innate imperative of all skeletal remains in-case you didn’t know) but our meat has its own agenda which creates this fundamental conflict of interests

I feel like a lot of people engaging in torture are not treating their victims as if they could have blood borne pathogens 🤔

Is what my wife said apropo of nothing as we were silently drifting off to sleep

just ask that person out, the worst thing they can say is an esoteric incantation that topologically inverts your body

NEVER MIND, I FOUND IT!!!

outlines of two alligators that got raptured by the lord himself

to make it more lynchian can't you read

lol yeah go ahead try and attack me *notices i left my dragon scale talisman of immortality at home* or maybe lets not be too hasty

ever since i was a little girl i knew i wanted to deny location sharing and turn off personalized ads and reject all non-essential cookies and not set up siri and face ID