feels good, feels organic, thank you

sorry to anyone who followed me for anything. you're not getting that

i have a Persian agenda where i encourage every man i know to grow the longest and prettiest hair possible

personal agenda. Personal.

i’m speechless. there’s a guy for everything.

Alien pulling your sleeve to get your attention: and who is this Cunt you all serve

My fav whaling logbook phenomenon is when their keeper opts NOT to use whale stamps and instead hand-draws very ornate whales to indicate when he sees them, but then as time goes on the whales get progressively shittier looking because that’s too much work. I know how it feels to get locked into an artistic bit later regretted, man.

Maybe he kept encountering shittier whales

passing in public makes me feel like white shrek

the menstrual cup and menstrual scepter

in american culture it's actually disrespectful to take time off of your job because it's seen as an insult to the economy

my favorite thing about crocodiles is yeah they're fantastic swimmers and yeah they can run pretty fast and yeah the smaller ones can even climb trees but also. they don't wanna do any of that shit. they just go no, no thanks. that's not for me. i think i'll just wait for someone to mistake me for a log and get too close. and then i'll eat them. many reptiles love this strategy but none pull it off like the humble croc

nothing can break the bond between a friend who loves spoilers and a friend who just watched an amazing show and needs to tell someone the entire plot from start to finish

alternatively: nothing can break the bond between a friend who doesnt read and a friend who just read an amazing book and needs to tell someone the entire plot from start to finish

nothing can break the bond between a friend who cannot and will not watch horror but is still interested and a friend who just watched an amazing horror movie and needs to tell someone the entire plot from start to finish

do you like my repetitive and outdated music taste

I’m going to the grocery store does anyone want to sublet my apartment for 45 minutes

How much

Only 3400

hot damn 🏃‍♂️ cmon guys lets go 🏃‍♂️🐕🐕🐕🐕🐕🐕🐕🐕🐕🐕🐕🧞‍♀️

ok I’m back you and your boyfriend and your dog and your dog and your dog and your dog and your dog and your dog and your dog and your dog and your dog and your dog and your dog and your djinn can go

I love gay people theres a guy in my neighborhood who named his one singular dog “simon and garfunkel”