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It still frequently baffles my mind that people will accuse systems of talking about their plurality "too much" and tell them to be quiet about it. Like ohhhh yeah you're right I'm definitely making too much of a big deal out of something that affects my relationships and decisions and hobbies and identity and needs and desires and behavior and preferences and comprehension and emotions and health and safety and goals and skills and how I navigate my daily fucking life. My mistake haha I'll shut up now.
This is not something I ever expect to come about in my lifetime. But in an ideal world, I would want there to be some kind of program meant to help plurals transition between careers and school courses as they see fit without having to uproot themselves and completely "close the book" on what they were doing previously. It would be sort of like having different jobs or school profiles "on hold" that may or may not correlate to specific alters, and that systems are able to go between freely. Not in the sense that all obligation would be lost β if you promise to take on a particular work shift, it's still on you to make sure it gets completed, by your hand or not β but in the sense that you would still have job security with Job A if a particular alter couldn't do Job A (whether that means "that well" or "at all") and picked up Job B to do while fronting. And vice versa, you'd still have job security with Job B even after switching and focusing on Job A for a while.
See, a common problem that systems face is finding an academic and/or career path that all (or at least most) of their system can handle and enjoy. Alters can have different skill levels, be good at different things, like or at least be able to tolerate different things. If the system picks one path in life, say they choose a major and get halfway through completing it, but suddenly the one alter who can't handle that path becomes the most frequent fronter, that's a problem. But it's not easy to just change your career or academic path β it can cost a lot of money, cause a lot of paperwork and meetings, etc.. In an ideal world, this would be accommodated for.
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yeah, sorry i exhibited symptoms of the disorder i told you i have. it will happen again because i have that disorder and will continue having it. hope this helps!! π«Άπ«Άπ«Ά
Idk if you were actually looking for an answer but I talk about this with my therapist a lot so heres his wisdom:
Laziness=You don't want to do a task, so you choose not to, and you're fine with that. You either dont care if it gets done or you figure someone else will do it.
Procrastination=You want to do the task, but you put it off because it seems difficult/boring/time consuming.
Executive dysfunction=You want to do the task, and intend to at that very moment. There is no significant reason not to, but you can't because your brain is having difficulty transitioning between activities.
The key difference, he points out, is that if you experience guilt or shame from not doing it, then it's NOT laziness, because those feelings indicate, on some level, a desire to complete the task.
The latter two have more overlap imo, but for myself, I think of it as whether you are having trouble confronting the task itself, or just the transition.
narcissist the insult came after narcissist the diagnosis. it's not that diagnoses are being named "asshole disease", it's that people are using legitimate medical conditions to insult people. like the R word iirc
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When you're tired, you wanna rest. Sometimes when you have chronic fatigue, it is due, at least in part, to resting too much. There are other causes of chronic fatigue, including clinical depression for us, but we are also very sedentary, so any effort is way more effort than we're used to, and we get drained very quickly.
When you're tired, you wanna rest. It's obvious. Rest is supposed to replenish you. Even if you have not found that to be true for you, you're still programmed to try. But sometimes when you're tired, you need to instead get more movement. It's counterintuitive, and it's stupid, and it sucks, and god damnit it works.
I wanna go to sleep so fucking bad. I'm tired, I wanna lay down, close my eyes, and sleep. But we've only been awake for 8 hours. Even for us that's a short day. I'm not tired, I'm fatigued.
So I'm pacing. I'm pacing our room. And I'm complaining about it. I hate this, this is stupid, this sucks, I don't wanna do this, my limbs feel like jelly, I do not enjoy this at all, I hate this so much.
The complaining makes me feel better.
Gratitude is important. Optimism. But complaining can be cathartic too. It takes more mental energy to remind myself repeatedly that this is good and why. Instead, I acknowledge: I hate this, I don't enjoy this, I want to be doing something else, I hate this, and I'm doing it anyway.
In the winter we take walks around the neighbourhood. We quite enjoy it. We used to walk all the time as a tween; now we're disabled. Our disability makes it painful to walk, but now we have a cane, and the cane helps. So we walk. But it's usually too hot to walk. It's not winter yet. For a few more days still, it's not even autumn.
We did feel better last winter when we were walking. We really enjoyed our nightly walks. Sometimes they would last an hour. Sometimes we would go multiple times a day. Sometimes we would go to the next neighbourhood over just to see the gloriously massive weeping willow reaching from the front yard to halfway over the street. We pay attention to the trees and the yard decorations and the cars and the bumper stickers and the street names and the waypoints and the parks and the shortcuts and the window decorations. It's very fortunate that Christmas is in the winter; there's more to see. I'm excited to see what they do for Halloween, since we weren't here for that last year.
When we were walking consistently we felt better. Against intuition, regular exercise made us feel better, not worse. We had to take breaks sometimes 'cause our back hurt, or our thighs were edging on raw, but we generally felt better. We felt awake. We felt functional. We could think better. We felt happier. Everything felt lighter. Everything felt easier. If nothing else we felt successful.
So I'm pacing. And I hate it. And I need to sit down for a minute and take a break because standing hurts our back. But then I get right back up. And I pace. I do stretches. Maybe I would do squats if our thighs didn't hurt so much right now. And I'm standing and I'm pacing and I'm complaining to the silence and I hate it.
And then it gets a little better. My eyes feel less heavy, my limbs feels less limp, I feel like things are working again, I don't feel drowsy. Tired? Yea. Better? Also yea. And I'm mad about it. It's too fucking hard and it's so fucking easy and I'm mad. I'm mad and I'm complaining but I feel better and it works.
And I don't feel happy. But I can think a little better too. I realised my shirt was bothering me and I changed it. I felt like I noticed our altar for the first time. I rang our Tibetan singing bowl a few times and I put on a crystal bracelet and some rings and I turned on our wine lights and lit our candles and I'm basking in the scents and the flicker of the fire and the beautiful dim lighting and the spirituality. Because that's what makes me happy, and for a moment I didn't feel like it was impossible to do.
And it's stupid, and it's simple, and it's easy, and it's hard, and I hate it, and it works. And we have to keep doing it. And we're gonna keep doing it. And we're gonna complain. We're gonna object. It's gonna suck. But we're gonna feel so much better. And we know it. And we want that. And it's stupid, but it works.
