It kind of boggles my mind that, throughout the extensive myriad of medications and treatments I have tried throughout the years, my condition was considered "treatment resistant" as opposed to contemplating whether or not we were approaching the problem from the proper/correct angle.
The moment I recognized my behaviors/thought processes as being symptomatic of OCPD, the moment I could identify my compulsions as compulsions, simply being able to acknowledge them as such instead of feeding into them has helped me a lot.
I now understand that my obsessive fixation(s), especially pertaining to reaching a level of certainty about my worth and the ensuing perfectionism as an attempt to achieve that, is an endeavor that ultimately perpetuates the problems I'm trying to solve.
I'm certainly nowhere near where I'd like to be with it yet, but I am making progress and sitting with the discomfort (despite how difficult and painful it is) has ultimately offered more relief than I've ever experienced before whilst obsessively ruminating on finding a solution.
