I Don't Even Know What I'm Doing

Sometimes you hear about drama with people you don't know and your stance changes from "Well, it sounds like there were a lot of feelings going on, but hopefully the relevant parties can communicate about it and take responsibility for their behavior-" and you hear one additional thing that switches abruptly to "Oh, that person can just EAT MY ENTIRE ASS, fuck off".

platonic third base: when you get to know someone well enough that they start making mortifyingly specific observations about you

yesterday i was chilling with my friend and there was an ice cream van outside and every time the jingle played i'd look out the window and after the third time i did this my friend said, accurately, 'i think you want to get ice cream but you're scared of the ice cream man.' devastating

tom animal crossing nook made you work for like 3 minutes and you spit on him like this god damn

he forces you into debt

that you literally never ever have to pay off unless you want him to build you a bigger house you floppy shoes rainbow wig ringling brothers ass bitch

Defending Tom Nook’s debt-based economy is going too far

you pay it off by selling him fucking bugs and rocks go make me a balloon animal bozo

#debt-based economy #bro have u like noticed thats literally the world we live in??#honestly i WISH i had a tom nook in my life are you kidding me????#no rush to make payments just pay when you can if you intend on getting an upgrade#no INTEREST i CANNOT emphasize that enough #great reliable quality of work#always polite when speaking to me???#probably genuinely concerned with my well being????#and yall are disrespecting him like this!? #i think the fuck NOT

The best possible landlord is still a landlord, and stands at the top of a steep incline

THEY DO!!! I’VE SEEN IT!!! Those motherfuckers run across those trees head down with no spacial awareness and get so startled and bewildered when they bump into eachother. It’s hilarious

@paint-lady is it okay to actually get this printed for my car?

I feel like this is the sibling to “their lesbians, Harold”

"use chatgpt" that's the devil talking. buy four caffeinated drinks and pull an all nighter. this is the way.

i may lose 5% for a late submission, but at least no one can deny that i wrote it with my own tits i mean brain

Further context: I am now a practicing attorney.

people who don't wear glasses are so weird like you just wake up and your eyes are pussy fresh??

thats not the word I meant to use

dont weird pussy, that's woke stale. penis absolute.

i’m sorry cock is in the bible?

huh i didn’t know edging was in the bible either

Of course it is, they've been waiting over two thousand years for the second coming