Today's Asexual News

We're getting there little by little, sure. But it's a road.

*Note: Please make sure to check the original post for the latest version before reblogging. This post will be updated frquently!*

There are a lot of aspec terms, some more common than others. With this series, I'm hoping to spotlight a bunch of different aspec identities, terms, etc.

If you have any suggestions for terms to post about, you can comment on or reblog this post, or send in an ask or dm!

A lot of these topics will be aro/ace centered, but I'm happy to shine some light on anything on the aspec, including afamilial, aplatonic, asensual, atertiary, aqueerplatonic, etc. Just know that I will have less to say personally about things that don't apply to me, and I will be more heavily relying on the words of others in those cases.

Note: when a term is a modifier than can apply to multiple things (eg. repulsed, aego, demi, etc.), I typically default to using sex/sexuality/asexuality as the example (eg sex-repulsed, aegosexual, demisexual), because those are more clear-cut for me to define. Determining if an action is sexual is easier for me than determining if an action is romantic or platonic or anything else, and sometimes I just need an example. There's not really a deeper meaning to it.

Navigation links under the cut!

Hello, Tumblr. I've never posted here, only lurked. But this is one of the most important things in the world to me, and I honestly need to ask you for help. Please reblog if you can.

This will be a long post. It will be summarized with a TLDR at the end, including ways that you can help.

With over 9,200 pages, we are the biggest collection of gender identities on the Internet, especially the biggest source that is readily available. We are a community that has existed since 2009, and has taken off in terms of growth in the last few years.

Today, Fandom decided to close the Gender Wiki. We were given absolutely no warning, and they've only given us a two-week deadline to move the entire wiki to a new host, which we are utterly unprepared to do. The download would also not include any of the 17,000+ images on the Gender Wiki, many of which do not exist anywhere else on the Internet.

Here is a link to the post Fandom staff gave us today, and a paraphrased summary of it below:

https://gender.fandom.com/f/p/4400000000000132176

Fandom staff says that they won't continue to host our wiki because it "spreads harmful misinformation". They believe we have gone too far in "positioning everything as a gender identity", referring to xenogenders. They mention pages with xenogenders referring to suicide/self-harm and violence --- which we, the staff members, were /already/ in the process of deleting before this notice was given to us. They decided that the best solution was not to ask us to delete those pages, or even delete the pages themselves, but instead to remove our entire database.

There are many other wikis on Fandom with much worse references to violence than the Gender Wiki, which Fandom appears to have no problem with whatsoever.

I cannot express enough that this is erasure, and it will absolutely negatively affect the LGBTQ+ community to not have this treasure trove of information readily available.

I am an admin on the Gender Wiki, and I can assure you that our entire staff team is already trying to appeal to Fandom staff. I'll add any updates if they decide to respond to us, but they have no yet given staff any more information than the above

PLEASE help in any way you can. Reblog, spread awareness, or sign this petition if you have a Fandom account. Archive any Gender Wiki pages, especially ones that don't have pages elsewhere, with the Wayback Machine or alternatively archive.is, or even write posts about them here or on other sites. Please help us save this information. It can't possibly be done this quickly without help.

Only 48 hours left before we confirm final quantities with the manufacturer and begin production! Visit the shop if you want your order included! Limited edition!

16 embroidery patches for the following pride flags: asexual, aromantic, rainbow, bisexual, lesbian, gay, non-binary, transgender, demisexual, and genderfluid.

“You can’t compare sex work to other types of work because having sex you’re not enthusiastic about is really traumatizing”

I’m sure for a lot of people that’s true but for me sex and masturbation occupy a similar emotional space to brushing my teeth or doing the dishes and I certainly don’t feel traumatized about it and I know for a fact that I’m not the only person who feels this way.

Also I think that someone physically and violently forcing me to brush my teeth might end up being traumatizing.

Sex is so taboo and mythologized that people have forgotten the mechanics of it.

Yeah sex might be sacred and important to you. To me it’s a chore I’ve gotta do sometimes. Like cooking. I love cooking and put great importance on it and who I do it with. A lot of people just cook to live though.

Cute how people who say this shit dont say transphobia doesnt exist just because shitty parents might kick out a trans kid because they think it's because they're gay. It's all terrible and parents being bigoted and neglectful and abusive. To parents like that it doesn't matter if you're gay or trans or ace, it's all the same to them and they don't want you in their family.

Using this as a "gotcha" to belittle the experiences of those who've gotten kicked out after coming out with the bonus of not even being believed for what they came out as is disgusting.

In this recent UK study cis asexuals were the most likely to have conversion therapy equal to cis gay/lesbian people. And the most likely to have it offered.

https://assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/721704/LGBT-survey-research-report.pdf

1) Stop equating sexuality to behavior. Don’t do it with gay people, don’t do it for ace people.

2) Faith based groups, especially those who are not pro-LGBTQ don’t magically see aces as acceptable. They view them as not-straight therefore wrong.

3) If you are abstinent it’s supposed to be a sacrifice you suffer through to show your strong faith. Sex is meant to be your reward for being married. Being abstinent in a faith based groups works until you are meant to get married, be fruitful, or summit to your husband. The moment you decide you don’t want any of that for yourself now or in the future it’s a seen as a problem.

4) You’ll note that lots of number 3 is sexism, sex negativity, and the forced continuation of nuclear families something that directly and indirectly adds to homophobia and transphobia. And instead of saying “hey this ace, this victim of abuse, gives us an opportunity to discuss all of those wrongs in society, plenty of people just reblog “but why would you kick a virgin out??”

I’ve heard everything from “it’s human nature/it’s what makes us human” (which is a hilarious take because umm I guess there are significantly more humans than previously believed - even if you only consider the species which mate for life) to statements that I’m “maladapted and maladjusted” (which would be a way cooler line in a different context).

People have asked me if it’s a medical issue, if I have friends who are saying that they are ace and I want to be like them, if it’s a side effect of my meds (it’s not, and I was asexual before I started meds anyway), if I am just gay and don’t want to tell people that, and if I’ll change my mind someday.

Additionally, I wasn’t sent to conversion camp or anything (it’s currently illegal here), but I was sent to therapy to “try to be more normal” which is sorta the same thing if the abnormality in question is my sexuality (there may have been other factors, but this was a large part of the reasoning behind it).

Also worth mentioning that aces have a higher than average likelihood of assault in the name of “fixing” them or just not believing them and ignoring “no”.

Asexuals are generally considered not straight enough and not gay enough, so we get commentary like this from both sides. We’re always outsiders.

But while cancelling Nitro and boycotting Discord CAN be a form of protest, it sadly may not be effective. Why? Bc their hands are tied due to the recent trend in age verification bills worldwide.